Every morning, my husband wakes me by spraying cologne in my mouth.
Okay, not really. Actually, he wakes me up - at least initially - by letting his alarm go off a bazillion times. But then after that, he retreats into the bathroom (which is attached to our bedroom) to get ready for work. And most of the time, I doze off again.
In Curtis's defense, he closes the door. When he showers, I can't smell the soap. When he shaves, I can't smell the shaving cream. When he brushes his teeth, I can't smell the mouthwash. When he's on the toilet, well ... I can't smell that either (thank. The. LORD).
But when he
It always reminds me of the time I stashed a cookie in my purse next to a flowery-scented tampon. For, like, a week. And then I remembered it was in there and was all, "Mmm! Score!" and took a huge bite ... of tampon-flavored cookie.
No human being should ever have to know that tampons and cologne taste similar, y'all. Seriously.
The cookie fiasco I can avoid (and now you can too. Thank me later). But the offending body spray? Is apparently not going anywhere. I've
Maybe next time I give him a cookie, I'll store it next to a tampon first.