Boo to the Hoo!
So it's official. My son is in school. I have a Kindergartener. It feels so weird to just have the two little ones at home, y'all! Like I imagine it would feel if I accidentally left someone at the grocery store or something. (I hope to never do that for real, but hey, you never know.)
Colin was excited all morning, but then as we neared the school, his hand in mine, he started to worry a little.
"Do you have to leave?" he asked, his little voice wavering. It broke my heart, but I put on my most chipper attitude.
"Yes," I said. "But I will be right here the minute you get out of school. And you'll have so much fun today that you'll hardly even notice I'm gone."
Once we got inside, he sat bravely in the gym with the rest of his class, and even smiled - though I could tell he was a little nervous.
When it was time to go to his classroom, he wasn't quite sure how to walk in a single-file line; he kept trying to walk beside the other kids, and it dawned on me that I should have sent him to preschool. Or day care. Or something. This is a child who - no joke - asked me for some ammonium dichromate so he could build a volcano (I had to look it up, people) ... but he can't stay in a line with other kids? His social skills are definitely lacking, to a degree I didn't realize until this morning. Which of course opened up a whole new vein of worry for Mommy: will he play well with the other kids? Wait his turn? Follow directions?
(Add that to Will he know what to do at lunch? and Will the other kids be nice to him? and Will he even talk to the other kids? and Will the teacher "get" him? and Will he be miserable all day? and Will he do what he's supposed to? and What if he doesn't? and a whole plethora of other worries too numerous to list.)
Anyway, I watched him go until I couldn't see him any more. He didn't cry or protest. He simply glanced back at me a couple of times, and each time I gave him the hugest, most confident grin I could muster and the "I love you" sign. And then ...
I sobbed across the school parking lot.
I sobbed in the car on the way home.
I sobbed while talking to my neighbor outside.
I sobbed to my mom on the phone.
Curtis took a really lovely picture of me to commemorate the big event:
POST-SCRIPT: Shortly after I finished this post, there was a knock at the door. And I was all, damn, maybe I should pretend I'm not home. You see, the dog had just pooped on the basement floor and this heinous smell was wafting up the stairs. And there's dried grass all over my entryway from where I mowed last night. I didn't want to answer the door and have whoever was there be like, "OMG! Skanks live here!"
But I'm glad I decided to answer, because it was a floral delivery lady carrying this:
A balloon, all KINDS of yummy chocolate, and a card that read:
Good luck today Colin! Mom - have a good day!
It was from my sweet sweet SWEET across-the-street neighbors, Lee and Kelly. Just one more reason why I don't ever ever want to move, E-V-E-R. :)
Colin was excited all morning, but then as we neared the school, his hand in mine, he started to worry a little.
"Do you have to leave?" he asked, his little voice wavering. It broke my heart, but I put on my most chipper attitude.
"Yes," I said. "But I will be right here the minute you get out of school. And you'll have so much fun today that you'll hardly even notice I'm gone."
Once we got inside, he sat bravely in the gym with the rest of his class, and even smiled - though I could tell he was a little nervous.
Just looking at this picture makes me bawl, you guys. For real.
When it was time to go to his classroom, he wasn't quite sure how to walk in a single-file line; he kept trying to walk beside the other kids, and it dawned on me that I should have sent him to preschool. Or day care. Or something. This is a child who - no joke - asked me for some ammonium dichromate so he could build a volcano (I had to look it up, people) ... but he can't stay in a line with other kids? His social skills are definitely lacking, to a degree I didn't realize until this morning. Which of course opened up a whole new vein of worry for Mommy: will he play well with the other kids? Wait his turn? Follow directions?
(Add that to Will he know what to do at lunch? and Will the other kids be nice to him? and Will he even talk to the other kids? and Will the teacher "get" him? and Will he be miserable all day? and Will he do what he's supposed to? and What if he doesn't? and a whole plethora of other worries too numerous to list.)
Anyway, I watched him go until I couldn't see him any more. He didn't cry or protest. He simply glanced back at me a couple of times, and each time I gave him the hugest, most confident grin I could muster and the "I love you" sign. And then ...
I sobbed across the school parking lot.
I sobbed in the car on the way home.
I sobbed while talking to my neighbor outside.
I sobbed to my mom on the phone.
Curtis took a really lovely picture of me to commemorate the big event:
I'm so gangsta.
POST-SCRIPT: Shortly after I finished this post, there was a knock at the door. And I was all, damn, maybe I should pretend I'm not home. You see, the dog had just pooped on the basement floor and this heinous smell was wafting up the stairs. And there's dried grass all over my entryway from where I mowed last night. I didn't want to answer the door and have whoever was there be like, "OMG! Skanks live here!"
But I'm glad I decided to answer, because it was a floral delivery lady carrying this:
A balloon, all KINDS of yummy chocolate, and a card that read:
Good luck today Colin! Mom - have a good day!
It was from my sweet sweet SWEET across-the-street neighbors, Lee and Kelly. Just one more reason why I don't ever ever want to move, E-V-E-R. :)
I think our picture is lovely!!!! When my oldest started kindergarden, I was 9 months pregnant. Talk about crying. whew.
ReplyDeleteThat's actually a gorgeous picture of you. You look like Julia Roberts with a nicer nose and w/o the ridiculously large mouth. For real. You may be crying, but you're still pretty!
ReplyDeleteI'm crying over your flowers, over your heart breaking. I've done it 3 times over now and I swear it was yesterday. In 2 weeks, my little girl goes off for her 2nd year away from us in college. It hurts just as much as that first day of kindergarten.
ReplyDeleteHe'll be fine. This is the beginning of a big, exciting adventure for him. And you'll be amazed at how quickly you adapt.
As for the dog poop, I'm feeling you sister. I feel like my moronic puppies will never get trained.
Aw, he looks so tiny sitting in the gym! I'm tearing up just reading your post. My baby starts Kinder on the 23rd. WWwaaaaa!
ReplyDeleteI didn't think that I was going to cry when Hayden went to Kindergarten last year but I did. Big huge should sobs and you know what, I will probably do it again this year.
ReplyDeleteWe are just a big ole bucket of sap.
And awesome neighbors.
Ouch...Looks rough! And I bet Curtis was just fine, right? :) Your big boy will be fine! At least the first day will be over soon.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, you know I have the same worries! What a sweet gift. He'll do great!
ReplyDelete20 days to go til mine starts.
Awww! This is so sweet. I love the picture of him sitting with his little nametag! And dang, even when you are crying you are gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteOMG what a sweet post. You have such big crocodile tears...and those friends. So thoughtful. I hope Colin had one fantastic day on his first day of school.
ReplyDeletePS - I had the same tears for a week straight after dropping my daughter off at University years ago. Man, having kids is so hard.
OMG, you did exactly what I did when my son started Kindergarten. I kept it together until he walked through the door and then I turned away and let the waterworks start. The school principal even stopped me in the hallway to ask if I was okay. I managed to blubber out, "That's my baby!" and point towards the door where children and parents were still standing. It definitely gets better. When my daughter started school this year, there were no tears on either of our parts. :-)
ReplyDeleteAlso, neither of my kids went to preschool or pre-K or even a single playdate and they're both doing fine. Your little guy sounds like he's pretty sharp. He's going to be fine! This is coming from someone who had all the same apprehensiveness about how my kids would be in school. ;-)
He'll learn the single file in no time! And what lovely neighbours you have!
ReplyDeleteMy "off to Kindergarten" experiences have proven to get more difficult each time. I can say, with all sincerity, that I feel your pain and will be feeling it all over again in a couple of weeks **drat**...
ReplyDeleteA month ago my sister asked me "Aren't you SO excited that schools starts soon?" I sat for a minute trying to think of an answer and burst into full on tears instead :(
Growing up sucks...
OMG, I'm crying just reading this! Every time I thought about it at work yesterday I teared up. I know he'll be fine, but it's such a big adjustment for everyone - and another phase in his life we'll have to get used to.
ReplyDeleteI cried on your first day of school, and on each of your siblings, too. There's so much to worry about, and most of it is just our imagination! I also cried when we moved you into the dorm at college, at it was only 35 miles away! ;o) Same unreasonable worries, just a different age.
You're so sweet! Save that photo for when he's a man as evidence that being a mom is sooooo hard :) He's a cutie and I'm sure he loved it.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, this is such a sweet post! You're little Colin looks so adorable sitting on the gym floor. I'm sure he did great, and with a sweet face like that, he's bound to have plenty of friends.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of sending miss sassy pants off to preschool, and she can't get out of here fast enough (according to her). She's wanted to "go to school" since last year. We'll see how it goes.
everything in this post is why we put Izzy in preschool last year - so I wouldn't flip out too badly when kindergarten starts (although thank god i still have another year to prepare myself.) First day of school she didn't even wait to say goodbye to me, just marched right on in without a glance backward. Made it easier to leave, but also sadder because she didn't even need me at all! I don't know whose idea it was for kids to grow up so fast, but I have a bone to pick!
ReplyDelete