Terrible Toddlers and Chocolate Confessions

It's Friday, and this has been a long week - my husband has been out of town on business, so I've been doin' the damn thang by myself for a few days. He's back now, thank goodness, which means the boys will finally have someone to pummel other than each other. Because boys are wrestle-y by nature, but I prefer it when they wrestle with their dad because at least he doesn't cry and tattle after a few minutes.

Anyway, since my brain is pretty much fried from the day-to-day events of the past week, this is going to be a very random post of bullet-pointed things.

Thing #1: Toddlers, man.

I have long maintained - through three kids, even - that whoever coined the term "terrible two" was delusional. That three is far worse than two.

But I'm pretty sure my two-year-old, Corbin, is actually in the throes of terrible two-dom. You wanna know why?

Because I told him he couldn't eat mustard for lunch.

Because I told him to take his brothers' toothbrushes out of his diaper.

Because he's just a bossy little beast.

So either I've got a child who is ACTUALLY experiencing the "terrible twos" ... or his threes are going to be hellish beyond my wildest dreams. Either way: gray hairs.

... And big hips. I'm going to blame those on him too. I mean, I'm sure he's responsible in some roundabout way.

Thing #2: The Walking Dead comes back on this weekend OMGOMGOMG.

I am so freaking excited. I've never, ever missed a single episode. I caught up on parts of the marathon they had this week after the kids went to bed. Wednesday evening, I flipped back and forth between The Walking Dead and the Teen Mom 2 Reunion Special and reflected that my tastes in TV are pretty weird. Anybody else??

Thing #3: You guys need to win stuff.

I reeeeeally need to revamp my Giveaways and Reviews page (and my blog in general), but until I do, here's a list of the stuff you can currently win from The Frump, conveniently hyperlinked so all you gotta do is click and you're set up to enter:

$100 Visa gift card from Vanity Fair! ← because hello? Free money??

A Pur Water Filtration product soooo new, it hasn't even hit store shelves yet (and I'm giving away THREE of them!)

And next week, I'll be giving away one of these:

That's right. They are DELICIOUS AND EDIBLE CHOCOLATE GAMES. Although .......

*deep breath*

This week I was PMS-ing so hard and Curtis was gone and I was desperately in need of chocolate so I ate the entire Monopoly set by myself. This is my confession.

*hides face*

Anyway, I've also got a few other fun giveaways coming up (if I don't, you know, eat them), so check back regularly!

Thing #4: I'll have some big news to share next week! Hint: I'm going to be in a book with some amaaaaaaazing writers (including the hilarious Hannah Mayer of sKIDmarks, whose guest post about asshole goats and injured vaginas was a huge hit around these parts)! And you're going to want to buy it, because the proceeds go to benefit a fantastic cause. Are you curious yet?

Okay. I think that's all the things, although I will inevitably remember ten more once I hit "publish."

Happy Friday, y'all!


  1. I SWEAR my daughter was her "terrible twos" since the day she was conceived. It's gotten better now that she's 4. But we still have some melt-downs. So, yeah, "terrible twos" is not necessarily exclusive to being "two".

  2. "I ate the entire Monopoly set" - LOL!
    & I totally agree on the Terrible 3's! I breathed a sigh of relief that my daughter was such a wonderful child that she skipped the Terrible Two's, only to be b*tch slapped in the face w/ the Terrible Three's!

  3. I feel your pain with the toddler thing. Mine is worse because he can't speak yet and you have to kind of guess what's wrong. I can't reach my car, I dropped my car. I want a biscuit. It is usually one of those.
    I totally understand about eating the choc by the way.

  4. Corbin may be kind of evil, but he's SO cute.

  5. I've eaten all the chocolate too. Sometimes it's needed.

    I was excited about The Walking Dead too! Awesome show. And I also watch Teen Mom. Not as awesome, but I can't help but tune into the drama.

  6. Oh my gosh... how did I miss this post? I am laughing so hard at the toothbrushes in the diaper!
    And equally excited about our big announcement!!!

  7. Shoulda caved on the mustard. But I'm just an evil cow... :)

  8. Ah yes, two little boys. They're older now, but I'm still needing chocolate binges.


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