Candy Crush, man. I blame Candy Crush.
You see, it's a really frustrating game sometimes. And the other day I was playing it and my almost-two-year-old was sitting on my lap, watching. And I maaaaaay have said an exasperated "Shit."
I'm not claiming I never say bad words. But usually when I say a cuss word it's under my breath, out of earshot, whatever. But this. This was just right out in the open. It hung there in the air for a moment, suspended - and then ...
"Shit!" Corbin repeated gleefully. "Shit, shit." Right before my horrified eyes. "Shiiiiiit."
Y'all? This was like two weeks ago. And he has not stopped saying it since.
It's like he took it and ran with it. It's now his favorite word.
Like the other day he tried to pick up a heavy pack of juice boxes. "Ugh! Shit!" he grunted.
Or when he couldn't figure out where the puzzle piece went. "Help, Mommy!" he pleaded. "Shit."
He says it in response to even the slightest frustration. Can't get his sock on? Shit. Can't reach the bananas? Shit. His favorite cup is in the dishwasher? ...You guessed it. SHIT.
By letting that one little word slip out in front of him in that one teeny incident of Candy Crush madness, I inadvertently created a monster. I guarantee you I could try to teach him any other word - any word at all - and it would go in one ear and out the other. But the one word that will get you harshly judged by horrified onlookers at the grocery store or wherever his loud toddler voice happens to launch an S-bomb? He retained that word like a little sponge.
I kid you not, y'all - as I write this, he's in the other room and I literally just now heard a whiny "shiiiiit" in response to a matching game he's playing on the iPhone. *sigh*
In fact, I just recorded him. See for yourself, as he says it like four times in this gem of a clip.
I try to give him an alternate word to use. But does he want an alternate word? No. Apparently he's perfectly happy with "shit."
The one and only silver lining to this whole situation is that he doesn't say the "S-H" part too clearly - so in a pinch, I can
Which he inevitably will, because ... kids.
I don't know how long this phase will last. I'm hoping my tiny delinquent will latch onto another, less potentially-offensive word. Like "pish-posh" or "dag nabbit."
In spite of myself, though, I can't help but be a tiny bit impressed that he seems to have it in the correct context.
I mean, if my toddler's going to say "shit" a million times a day ... at least he's using it right.