S-H-Why Me?

Candy Crush, man. I blame Candy Crush.

You see, it's a really frustrating game sometimes. And the other day I was playing it and my almost-two-year-old was sitting on my lap, watching. And I maaaaaay have said an exasperated "Shit."

I'm not claiming I never say bad words. But usually when I say a cuss word it's under my breath, out of earshot, whatever. But this. This was just right out in the open. It hung there in the air for a moment, suspended - and then ...

"Shit!" Corbin repeated gleefully. "Shit, shit." Right before my horrified eyes. "Shiiiiiit."

Y'all? This was like two weeks ago. And he has not stopped saying it since.

It's like he took it and ran with it. It's now his favorite word.

Like the other day he tried to pick up a heavy pack of juice boxes. "Ugh! Shit!" he grunted.

Or when he couldn't figure out where the puzzle piece went. "Help, Mommy!" he pleaded. "Shit."

He says it in response to even the slightest frustration. Can't get his sock on? Shit. Can't reach the bananas? Shit. His favorite cup is in the dishwasher? ...You guessed it. SHIT.

By letting that one little word slip out in front of him in that one teeny incident of Candy Crush madness, I inadvertently created a monster. I guarantee you I could try to teach him any other word - any word at all - and it would go in one ear and out the other. But the one word that will get you harshly judged by horrified onlookers at the grocery store or wherever his loud toddler voice happens to launch an S-bomb? He retained that word like a little sponge.

I kid you not, y'all - as I write this, he's in the other room and I literally just now heard a whiny "shiiiiit" in response to a matching game he's playing on the iPhone. *sigh*

In fact, I just recorded him. See for yourself, as he says it like four times in this gem of a clip.


I try to give him an alternate word to use. But does he want an alternate word? No. Apparently he's perfectly happy with "shit."

The one and only silver lining to this whole situation is that he doesn't say the "S-H" part too clearly - so in a pinch, I can lie explain that he's saying "this" or "it" or something similar. You know, like if he says it in front of his brother's teacher at preschool drop-off. Or anywhere else in public.

Which he inevitably will, because ... kids.

I don't know how long this phase will last. I'm hoping my tiny delinquent will latch onto another, less potentially-offensive word. Like "pish-posh" or "dag nabbit."

In spite of myself, though, I can't help but be a tiny bit impressed that he seems to have it in the correct context.

I mean, if my toddler's going to say "shit" a million times a day ... at least he's using it right.


  1. Is it wrong that I found the video cute?

    My kids learned foul language from me too. I explained that they are grown up words and that they can go to jail if they say them.

    Probably mean of me, but eh.

  2. Curtis seems to have much better language control than you and I, so it's inevitable that Corbin learned it from his mother, who learned it from HER mother, who learned it from HER mother.......and so on. Must be genetic. Sigh.......

  3. OMG so funny because last week we went on a walk and Lilly blurted out "I forgot my god damn sunglasses". Ooops. It took all of my power to not laugh. But I sure was proud too that she used the right context. Now I'm just trying to do damage control.

  4. I am thoroughly enjoying this blog; now that I have stumbled across it. Its right up my alley, I have three boys, one of my twins is named Corbin! So, now I really have to say, you're like my blog bff in a not so strange blog stalker kind of way ;-) . Thank you for making me feel less OCD about the kids and the house and the. ... kids!

  5. Ah thank you, you made me cry I was laughing so hard. I have a 19 months old boy, and this weekend my other half was driving the car and said 'shit' - and it was immediately repeated from the back seat. I finally got my point about watching language proven. He has said something that may or may not be that again a couple of times, but we seem to be the only people who think that is what he is saying. I already know about the instant repeat from my own driving - thankfully that day what I said was 'oh come on'. Which is his current phrase - lets hope it isn't replaced with shit. Well, unless, like your small, he gets the context correct. I think I would probably be quietly proud there too.

  6. Ok so I admit it I have a bit of road rage. Not the over the top sort of pull a gun out just the call everyone else stupid that is driving in the same general area as myself. So one day we are driving down the road and waiting for the man in front of us to make a left hand turn my boy says from the back seat is that guy a dumb ass mom?? Yep son he probably is:)

  7. My 4 year old did this while we were on vacation in Ohio. We were eating at White Castle and I explained I was going to throw out my Big Red Soda because I didn't want it to spill in grandma's car. She looked at me and went yeah because great grandma might say "holy s***". I asked her what did you say and she went oops. I looked around and there was a lady trying not to laugh. Now my grandma doesn't swear, but I unfortunately do (but really try not to in front of my daughter). At least it wasn't the f word this time (that is a whole other story). :)

  8. My then 3 year old picked up "f***head from a friend of his older brother, (charming child), I discovered this when I grabbed him and strapped him into a shopping trolley to stop him running about the supermarket. He shouted this one word for the entire duration of the fastest weekly shop I ever did, I think that cut a few weeks off my life expectancy.

  9. The joke around my house is that our 19 month old son is going to learn all his cuss words from Mommy....all of them....

  10. Hello - new reader here :) my toddler son sounded out an f-bomb in an elevator one time and the guy in the elevator looked and my husband and I like we were raising a hell-baby. As soon as he got off, we looked at eachother and cracked up laughing. Not to condone kids cussing but there is a funny side to it. :)


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