Towel-a-bye

The Internet is a useful tool for the gathering and exchange of information and knowledge. Or, like ... it would be if I didn't fall down online rabbit-holes like, "What Does Your Pubic Hair Say About You?" and videos of cats knocking things off of things.

So this morning I was trying to get some work done (honest! I swear!) which, you know, kind of involved some Facebook. And I saw a link somebody shared about a woman folding towels.

Now - we all know folding towels is about as boring as watching paint dry, or sitting through an episode of Dora. I don't even like to fold my own towels, so why for the love of God would I want to watch eighteen minutes of someone else doing it? But the link promised that a heavenly experience awaited those who clicked. (Much like the "MEET SEXY SINGLE MEN IN YOUR AREA" emails in my spam folder.) And so I clicked. I could probably spare eighteen minutes. Sort of.

At first, I was actually a little put off. My brow furrowed as I listened to a woman talk in a whisper about how she was gonna fold some towels. My first thought was, "Michelle Duggar is folding towels on YouTube now?" I mean, I know there was a scandal, but wow.

Despite myself, I was soon mesmerized, staring at the towel-torial with absolutely no idea what she was saying but completely engrossed in the way she was saying it. It was like somebody petting a bunny or comforting a kitten. It was like my brain was wrapped in that silky-fuzzy stuff they make those super-comfy socks out of and cuddled up in front of a picture window with a gentle thunderstorm outside, eating one of those chocolate cakes-in-a-mug. I felt strangely peaceful and drowsy. WHAT WAS THIS TOWEL-FOLDING SORCERY?!

Later in the day, when my toddler's nap time rolled around, I thought that he, too, could benefit from this lady's mad towel-folding skillz (or at least the magical wonder-osity of her soothing voice). He looked at me kind of weird when I suggested laying down and "listening to someone fold towels" but he complied nonetheless, and I shit you not - he was fast asleep within two minutes. And I may have fallen asleep for a little bit myself. Although if anyone asks, I was "resting my eyes."

I was intrigued by this towel folding video, y'all. And because my laundry was entirely caught up and my house was spotless and my work was completely up-to-date (cough cough), I had plenty of time to look the Titillating Towel Talker up on the Internet (her name is Maria). Not only did I find her YouTube channel where she has a ton of videos like this - not of towels exclusively, but just of her talking about random stuff in that voice - but I found this super-interesting article from The Atlantic called "How to Have a 'Brain Orgasm.'"

Apparently it's an actual phenomenon called ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) and it is the very reason why, as a child, I used to drag my blanket in front of our TV and nap to the soothing sounds of Bob Ross and his 'fro. Oh, the infinite weirdness of the brain! See for yourself, but don't blame me if you drool on your keyboard.


Anyway. Because of this, I got pretty much two things done today:
- nap resting my eyes
- this post

Fighting off Frumpy: making pointless topics into entire blog posts since 2009. But if Maria can whisper about folding towels for a living, damn it ...


4 comments:

  1. This is hilarious!!!!! Seriously, that video!! I couldn't stop watching!!! Her voice, ahhhhh!! It was like hypnotizing!!! I love your blog, thanks for the good laughs!!

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  2. There's a whole subculture on YouTube of ASMR videos. People whispering, or tearing paper, or ... various other random things that cause it but that I can't remember now. So strange

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  3. You are terrible. I was trying to get things done over here (like check my e-mail) My husband thought I was crying because my eyes were glazed over.

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  4. I'm sure many of my teachers were experts at this,going by the no. of students who dozed off in their classes once the teachers' sing-song began!!! :)

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