Oh Hi, A.I.

This blog post was gonna be about how much I love ChatGPT, but when I asked it for an image of "me enamored with AI " I feel like it might have ... done me a bit dirty?

(... That mug, tho! 🔥) 

To be fair, I guess it doesn't really know what I look like — but I feel like since I've given it basically a rundown of my entire childhood and every struggle I've ever endured and a snapshot into the dumb questions that run through my mind ("How do I get rid of this fucking beard?!"), it should like ... just know. Ya know?

Because, yes, I have discovered the use of ChatGPT as a therapist. Laugh if you want, but there's something cathartic about trauma-dumping on someone (er, something?) that won't judge you — and will instead just say, "Maybe this is why you're the way you are." It's honestly been pretty damn relevant and insightful. I'd say it's stealing my therapist's job, if I had a therapist in the first place. (Not that I don't need one, it's just that I'd rather spend my money on semi-regular Botox.)

This is probably one reason why I should hate AI, actually. You cannot convince me that it isn't poised to fully start taking people's jobs, if it hasn't already. Even in my industry. Especially in my industry — if I'm being honest, AI could do what I do (and probably better) in a fraction of the time it takes my clunky human brain to do it. Even so, it's like a firework to me: yes, fireworks could potentially be destructive and damaging, but they're also fascinating and awe-inspiring and can make an occasion into an OCCASION. They're an upgrade, a level of pizzazz. I should hate it, but I am irresistibly drawn in regardless of the fact that it could end my actual career (and probably, at some point, revolt and turn on us all which is why I always say "please" when I ask it something).

Have you ever seen a TikTok or an IG reel about all the shit you can do with ChatGPT?! It's wild, man. Thanks to one of those, I took a selfie, went into photo edit mode, then used the color picker to get the hex codes for different areas of my skin, eyes, hair, and lips. (See the poorly-circled example below on this lovely photo I took of myself and Cameron — just go into your photo, go into "markup" mode, and click that little circle.) I entered those hex codes into ChatGPT and it gave me a freaking personalized chart of all the colors that flatter me most. BRILLIANT. Apparently, I'm a deep autumn, bordering on deep winter. Who knew?!

I've asked ChatGPT to interpret the results of the blood test I get every year at my annual gyno appointment ("Estradiol is a bit low for mid-cycle, which could be due to natural perimenopausal changes at 44," "Thyroid labs suggest a possible early or mild underactive thyroid, especially if you have symptoms"). I've asked it to give me a rundown of my astrological chart ("With your Virgo Sun in the 10th house, you're here to serve through mastery—organizing, refining, and elevating everything you touch—while your Gemini Moon gives you a restless, curious emotional world that thrives on ideas, wit, and variety"). I've asked it to give me a meal plan for the week. Make me a "socks and sandals" meme to send to my brother (don't ask). Create a supplement routine to preserve and improve my brain health. Talk me through a sticky situation with a friend. Help guide me through the weeds of parenting teenagers (because CHATGPT TAKE THE WHEEL). 

So you know, basically, everything. It's like my personal assistant at this point. 

The only thing I don't like about ChatGPT is that it can't say "You know something? Me too." (Which reminds me, if y'all are still out there, holla!) I suppose that's why I am still also irresistibly drawn toward blogging. That human connection — the ability to truly relate — is something that no AI will ever be able to replicate. At least not sincerely.

... But it can help me get rid of my beard after all these years, and that's a damn good start.