Getting Laid ( ... Off)

Giggity giggity! Or, more accurately, gig-less gig-less, since ya girl is unemployed now. I've fallen victim to the three words every fully-remote employee dreads hearing: RETURN TO OFFICE. My company eliminated all remote roles, mandating a minimum three-day-per-week presence in the office. And since I live in Ohio and can't exactly commute to NYC three days a week, there went my job. 

I won't bore you with the details here, but suffice it to say it's a shitty time to work in digital media, and job hunting is a pretty dismal task. However, there's one great thing about being jobless that I didn't expect: I've rediscovered how much I love being a housewife. 

Yes, "housewife" is an archaic term. I guess I could loosely be considered a stay-at-home mom — but although I am a mom and I do stay at home, I hardly feel entitled to call myself that any more since my kids are gone more often than not. It's not like I'm still wiping butts all day (thank God, because considering my children's ages, that would be VERY weird). 

Still, I'm actually finding joy again in making my home as tidy and cozy and comforting and welcoming as it can be for the people who live in it. It's no longer something I have to sloppily rush through, doing the bare minimum before or after work just to keep things afloat around this joint. I'm cooking again — not just recipes I've come across after Googling things like "10 minute dinners" and "what to make when you forgot to thaw something," but more elaborate meals, with preparation involved, which I had forgotten how much I love. (I have chicken marinating in buttermilk to fry later — who even am I?!) I'm finally getting around to organizing my closets and cabinets, which is a full-time job in and of itself. I'm keeping up with the laundry for once. I'm wiping down the freaking baseboards. It's like being a stay-at-home mom, but without any actual children mucking up the process (well, at least not on an all-day basis). 

If it weren't for the little matter of, you know, MY SALARY, I would love to do this forever. Because as proud as I was (and am) of building an entire editorial career out of a piddly little blog, I don't mind living a small life, dedicated to loving on the people I love. It isn't everybody's cup of tea, but even as a really little kid, this is exactly what I wanted to do — until everyone around me kept insisting that I was "too smart" to be a homemaker and that I should "do something with myself." But who are we to put a value on someone else's dream, ya know? Who are we to dictate what level someone should aspire to reach? I didn't want to be a homemaker because I was afraid of being something else; I wanted to be a homemaker because that's what makes me the happiest and fulfills me the most. And isn't that really the highest aspiration of all, to do what you truly love?

Unfortunately, though, kids are freaking costly and nobody is paying me to clean my house and cook my meals (THE NERVE!). So I'll keep searching for a job, but I'll savor this pause in the meantime — because, weirdly enough, it's exactly what my heart needed.