A Roar of a Snore

Photo credit: Maja Lampe

Zzzzz-xnnxkxxghhn-zzzzzzzz ...

My husband snores, y'all. Big time. And when my eyes snapped open at 3:30-ish this morning in response to the sound, I was irritated. I tried to go back to sleep, but -

Zzzzz-xnnxkxxghhn-zzzzzzzz ...

This particular snore was a little on the weird-sounding side, but seriously, the dude snores so often that I've heard nearly every variety. The heavy-breathing-with-a-clicking. The light-wheezing whistle. The sounds-oddly-like-someone-eating-a-crunchy-apple. The oh-dear-Lord-is-that-a-freight-train rumble.

To remedy the situation, I always tell him to turn over on his side. Sometimes this simply involves a whispered, "Honey, turn over, you're snoring." Other times, depending on how heavily he's sleeping, it involves a well-placed finger jab to the ribs or a hearty shove (and, usually, a few expletives thrown in for good measure).

Anyway, last night something else struck me as odd - the fact that he was already on his side. But he was facing me, and maybe facing me meant I could just hear him more clearly, and maybe by facing away at least the snore would be muffled.

"You're snoring," I hissed. "Turn over."

So he did, right away, flipping to his other side. Ahhhh, I thought, settling into my pillow. Much bet-

Zzzzz-xnnxkxxggghhn-zzzzzzzz ...

"Curtis!!" I snapped, exasperated. "You. Are. SNORING!"

"Huh?" my husband mumbled sleepily. "I'm not sn-"

Zzzzz-xnnxkxxggghhn-zzzzzzzz ...

What the eff?

If Curtis wasn't snoring, and I wasn't snoring, then who the .........??

I felt around blindly in the darkness between us, and got my answer.


It was Destiny!


Apparently pugs snore, too.

... Great.





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8 comments:

  1. Apparently I was singing in my sleep last night.

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  2. HA! That they do. Sometimes I think Lola is a train. It's terrible.

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  3. I thought there was a bear in the house once...nope, it was the effing DOG snoring!!!

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  4. for some reason a dog snore doesn't seem like it would be that bad? maybe? then again, i don't have a pug that snores! lol. sometimes my cats whistle or snore in their sleep. it makes me laugh, but it also BUGS when you are trying to catch some z's!

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  5. I know exactly how you feel. My husband and toddler son both snore....I think one day, I'm going to have to build a granny flat for me to sleep in!

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  6. All brachycephalic (smushed nose) dogs snore. My shih tzu dreams he is a 747 every single freaking night. Still <3 him, though.

    Susan
    (blogger hates me & will only allow me to post under anonymous)

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  7. Oh yes...I've heard pugs are the worst offenders because of their swished faces. The Man snores as well and I can't stand it! Even when he rolls over, it still seems to keep me up. The things we put up with!

    WM

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  8. I was irritated with the snoring of my wife in night i cant sleep in such a disgusting sound so i bought her a stop snore ring which she wears in her pinky finger of left hand.Finally i got the rid of this snoring sound.

    ReplyDelete

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