Adventures in Never-Land

We've all got one: a list of things we swore we'd never do, yet ended up doing anyway.

I clearly remember thinking that boys were so gross and that I would never in a million years kiss one. I didn't care what the grownups said ... kissing was disgusting. And then poof - I was in first grade and getting in trouble at recess for chasing my crush du jour down, tackling him, and laying a big wet smooch right on his smacker. What?? I've always been a girl who knows how to get what she wants by use of excessive force.

I said I'd never be a neat freak like my mom. Because *insert teenage girl voice here* like, ohmigawd, I wanna have a life and not be all anal about how clean the house is all the time. *eye roll* Yet here I sit, a real live adult, staring with dismay at a sink full of dirty dishes and an overflowing laundry basket and only wishing I wasn't psychologically tortured by their presence.

I said I'd never wear big underwear. And though I won't elaborate (you're welcome), sometimes big underwear is a necessity.

I swore I would never try grits because ewwwww. And then I tasted a teeny bit of them and seriously? I swear that at this point cheese grits are singly responsible for at least seventeen pounds of weight gain. Heaven on a spoon, y'all.

I vowed that after potty-training a two-year-old, dealing with an infant in diapers, and housebreaking a puppy - all at the same time - that one dog was enough. And then Destiny intervened ... literally.

Before I had kids, I had a whole repertoire of superior parenting skills mapped out. They'd eat nothing but organic, well-balanced meals. I'd limit their TV. I'd only use positive reinforcement. But right now? My kids are crusted with brownie batter and watching Ratatouille. For the second time today. Because I'm too tired to yell at them.

Yes, sometimes there are things that just ruffle your best-laid plans. But, you know, in a good way. If I had stuck to my guns about kissing, I'd be in like a convent somewhere. If I hadn't tried grits, I'd be seven pounds lighter never know the pleasure of a hot, comforting bowl on a cold day.

Which is why, although I said I was never going to have more than three children, I can't be upset about this:

Yep. It's a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test - one of a million that I've taken just to be sure. (And no, I'm not dirty, that's cocoa powder on my fingers. Don't ask). Baby #4 is due June 8th, 2012 ... the day after Colin's seventh birthday. We are totally surprised (for a hot second I thought I may have gotten pregnant from a toilet seat or something), but completely happy.

Never say never: it's more than a Justin Bieber song.


  1. Congratulations!!!! That is awesome news :) Wishing you a happy, healthy, and EASY pregnancy! I just had our fourth and last on July 5th and can't believe she's already 3 months old.

  2. Congratulations!! That's awesome news!

  3. Jessica Armstrong LasaOctober 10, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    I knew it was going to happen sooner or later when you said you lost all this weight and Curtis couldn't keep his hands off you!

  4. Congratulations! That's so exciting! :-)

  5. Oh my goodness, Rita! That is awesome! Congrats!

    And, how did I miss the destiny post? I love that little puggie. I think we need to have a puggie play date. (I am sure that play dates for your dogs are on the top of your to-do list.)

  6. Congrats! Can't wait to hear all sorts of great stories as time goes on! :)

  7. CONGRATS!!!! That's awesome!! :)

    And yes, it's me... please see my blog for the long-overdue apology I owe you. :(

  8. Congrats. I'll be honest, I get a little jealous whenever I hear this news. It's great, yeah?

  9. LOVE IT! Love how you wrote this, love it all. I mean we have ALL certainly said we would NEVER do all those same things as you. Alas, we are forced to eat crow more than once in our lives.

    SO Happy for you and your family and #4 coming your way. Hope you're not sick, or too sick.

  10. Well, congratulations.

    Maybe you will add some pink to your house of blue. :)

  11. Babies come when they're supposed to come, whether their parents plan on them or not! This is another blessing in our family, and I'm SO excited! I'm taking off work to be there.....again! ;o)

  12. That one teenage girlOctober 11, 2011 at 9:42 AM

    I've been lurking on your blog since you were pregnant with Coby *coughnoIhaven'tbeenstalking*... But I've never commented. Heh. CONGRATULATIONS! Maybe it'll be a girl this time!

  13. OMG!!!!! Pure delight. Surprises are the best things God has wrapped up for us with a bow on top. Love it love it love it!!!! And now even more reason to eat twice the grits (with extra cheese)!

  14. Wow oh Wow! I did not see that coming!! Congratulations!!!!!

  15. Oh my goodness, congrats! Now all you bloggers who write about unplanned pregancies need to tell me how NOT to become a member of your club. Seriously, y'all put a fear in my heart like no other.

  16. Holy crap!!! Congrats and can't wait to follow your journey!

  17. OMG!!!! I am SO delayed on reading your blog but OMG! CONGRATS!!!!! You get to get a newt smushy baby face for another round.

    And even though it won't matter either way, I hope you have a girl to balance it out. At least a little bit!


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