Them, Me, and Poop & Pee

Wanna know what my life has been like lately?
Poop and pee. Poop and pee. Poopandpeepoopandpeepoopandpeepoopandpee. To further clarify, I've drawn this helpful illustration of myself*:

*I don't usually wear a dress.

There are five people, one dog, and two cats in this house. That's eight pooping, peeing creatures. I am responsible for the cleanup of six of them (including myself, so thank goodness I'm potty trained). Between changing diapers, scooping the litter box, taking Josie out to sniff around and poke at stuff pee, and purging the carpet of the seemingly-endless "surprises" she leaves for me, dealing with urine and feces is ALL. I. GET. DONE.

And it's like some comic farce at my expense. I'll be changing Coby, and Cameron will come in the room having pooped in his diaper and taken it off, so he'll have poo smeared all over himself. And then while I'm dealing with all that, Josie will pee right in the hallway or someplace where I'll inevitably step in it during the cleanup of the first mess(es).

It would actually be amusing ... IF IT WASN'T ME. OR MY EFFING CARPET.

In the grand scheme of things, this time period won't last long. (Or at least that's what I keep telling myself because I don't want to like go totally mad and rip up the rug with my bare hands and make everybody sleep outside until they learn to put their bodily fluids in the right receptacles.) I know that they won't be little forever, and that someday I'll miss this.


For right now, I'm up to my mother-lovin' elbows in POOOOOOOOP AND PEEEEEEEEEEEE.

(I kid you not: Cameron just now came up to me whining, "I have poop on my toes!" ... You see? You SEE?)

Guess I'd better get off here and take care of the latest set of piles and puddles. Anybody know of a good carpet cleaning service?


  1. I'm sorry about your poop problems. If it makes you feel better I can sympathize...sort of. Our puppy, Sofie, decided this morning that she couldn't wait for me to get dressed and take her out. Instead she decided to go into the kitchen and poop on the floor while I brushed my teeth. Then she decided to eat some of it. It was gross. It was also 5:30 AM.

    At least I only have one though. Good luck.

  2. No. We will never miss the poop. Never.

  3. Oh god! its hard for me to stop laughing but let me put a straight face :|

    Hope they grow up soon and yet remain kids at heart! :)

  4. I understand about the poop. My 2 moronic puppies poop all day long and they seem to be on the short bus of potty training. They look at my house as one big toilet.

    Here is the worst story ever about kids and poop. My daughter was in the end stages of potty training meaning we didn't have a standing ovation anymore every time she made a doody. Oftentimes, she would even forget to tell me, when she had one. I'd just find it later in her potty seat.

    I was watching my neighbor's boy who still is one of my daughter's best friends. (They're 19 and 17). He was about 18 months at the time. My daughter came out of her room where they'd been playing to inform me that he had something naughty in his mouth.

    That's right. He'd seen the little turd in her potty seat in the bathroom and must have decided it looked mighty appetizing. I spent a godless eternity, flossing his little chompers of poop. I told you it was the worst story ever.

    I'm sorry about all the poop in your life.

  5. Two words for you: Sister Wife.


  6. ack!!! i am so sorry!!! i have two cats and i have to clean their TWO litter boxes twice a day. and one of them still poops randomly around the house. and they both barf more than i care to think about. i know human poop and peep is larger and more often, so i am so sorry you are going through this! what a gross mess!!! but it will end has too! GROSS!

  7. That is crazy! My parents just got TWO puppies around Christmas and are dealing with lots of poop & pee issues. One likes to eat her poop too. Thank goodness our place is too small for a pet and a baby or else we'd probably be in the same boat as you. Good luck!

  8. Rita girl, where did you find the time to write this HILARIOUS post amidst all the pooping and peeing?? I got frazzled just reading about how frazzled you are! Hope you get a break soon! :)

  9. Oh that picture is fabulously funny! You have captured the essence of the eye twitch. I bow down to your sanitizing greatness, Princess and the Pee. Or would that be Little Bo PEEp. Sleeping Pooty? :)

  10. Oh man, I am so with you on this one. I have 2 in diapers right now and it's driving me crazy. Once, they spread poop around their entire room 5 days in a row, it was torture!

    Buy some Spot Shot, it works great on carpet stains!

  11. Wow. Better you than me. At least for me anyways. Not so much for you.

  12. Poop on his toes????? OMG!

    I swear, this is why I won't let my kids get pets. I have enough poop and pee to deal with without adding to it!

  13. Yes, you'll miss the kids - and the puppy - being little. No, you'll never miss the pooping & peeing issues! LOL

  14. Well, that is a tragic way of life for sure. All i can say is, you must have infinitely more patience than I. Hang in there and good luck to you!!

  15. LMAO. Between my son who poops 3 times and day and our new pup (don't get me started on that)I thought that my life was pretty full on...very wrong!! To funny,

  16. At least your dog isn't big.... yet. Big dog poop piles are the WORST. Except that cat poop is the SMELLIEST! At least my cat's poop is because the darn cat has something against burying his crap and until poops right beside the litter box! Really?! Come on!!
    I'm truly sorry about your poop and pee predicament.

  17. Just when I thought I would never deal with that sort of thing again, Dallas brought home his rescue husky. she still has issues, and I will not have new carpet or flooring until she doesn't anymore. I hate it.

  18. Love the drawing! :) Yeah, lots of Poop and pee here! Telling myself that it will only last another 2.5 years. I am SURE hoping eveyrone in this house is potty-trained by then!

  19. I too am sorry about your poop and pee status. I remember my daughter used to poop in her exersaucer and then stomp it into the floor. Hard to get crap out of those little nooks and crannies. Good luck.

  20. OMG Rita. You are MY PEOPLE. I have one less person, but still. If I'm not wiping a butt, I'm scooping a cat box, airing out a bathroom thanks to the husband, or letting the dog out.
    Poop sucks.


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