Beware of Boogers

So Halloween is over for another year. And if my "fat-girl pants" could talk, they'd be laughing maniacally right about now, 'cause y'all? I have ingested enough Halloween-related calories in the past few days to negate my next seven hundred Zumba classes. Time to re-boot the lifestyle change.

... You know, like maybe after Thanksgiving or something.*

*Which will probably be closer to Christmas.

Anyway. At least it was fun. (Well, mostly for the boys since they were largely excluded from the cleanup and the laundry and got to hear people gushing about how cute they looked and ate candy without worrying about it going straight to their asses.)

The dudes hollowed out pumpkins ...

 I seriously had to make them all put on clothing first. 

 Colin was a little freaked out by the pumpkin innards.

Which I artfully carved ...

 ... using a pattern, but whatever.

Then came the trick-or-treating. Colin and Cameron were Mario and Luigi, Coby was Woody from Toy Story, and the baby was some sort of nondescript froggy-looking thing. Although he didn't go trick-or-treating because, hello, no teeth. He stayed home with my mom, who was visiting, and helped hand out candy.

Those aren't Christmas lights ... they're orange for Halloween.

I'm glad my mom was here to hand out candy while Curtis and I took the kids out into the neighborhood. Because as much as I enjoy seeing the cute little trick-or-treaters in their adorable costumes, I've definitely got a few Halloween pet peeves.

It was cold, and I had bundled the boys up as well as possible without them having to cover up their costumes with coats, but their noses still got all runny. And in my grand tradition of being grossly underprepared, I forgot to bring any tissues. Candy wrappers aren't all that great for wiping snot. So when my three-year-old came up to me with a booger the size of Texas attached to his finger, I was at a loss. See, normally I'd tell him to wipe it on the grass or something but we were like in people's yards and they were like out there and they'd be all, OMG! That woman just told her kid to wipe a booger in our grass!

So I just told him, "Wipe it on your pants."

So he did. But it was one of those superglue-boogers that just sticks to your skin, and it didn't come off on his pants. Meantime, Curtis and the other boys were moving further ahead.

"Just wipe it on my pants, then," I hissed. And he tried, and again, it just stuck to him. So, cringing inwardly, I plucked the booger from his finger and told him to run on ahead and catch up with his brothers.

But then there I was, standing in the middle of the sidewalk with a booger - not even my own - stuck to my fingers.

When a crowd passed in front of me, I quickly bent down and tried to swipe it onto the lawn. But it didn't budge ... only collected a little booger-toupee of grass. So I forcefully wiped it onto my own jeans. And then spent the rest of the trick-or-treat time with a giant grass-covered booger stuck to my leg, like the hairy mole of a witch.

Fun times.

Since our trick-or-treat night is actually the 30th, we host an annual neighborhood bonfire on the actual Halloween holiday. It's always a good time.

I got exactly zero pictures of Coby without his mouth open.

 ... See?

Cameron told me he'd roast me a hot dog. Because I love mine burnt black and covered with ashes and dirt.

Nothing like a bonfire to make your buns freeze and your face burn. Unless you, y'know, turn around ... but then you have the opposite problem.

I had a nice Halloween, but I'm pretty glad it's over. Although now I have the next month to pretend I don't spend every waking moment daydreaming about going into my kids' massive candy stash and stuffing my face.

Did y'all have a good Halloween?


  1. I had a wonderful Halloween at your house! (Wish had been able to stay for the bonfire, though.) And I'm not even going to weigh until after Christmas. Miss you guys already!

  2. I'm also hiding from the MASSIVE bowl of candy-loot my girls brought home, while also dreaming of pants that don't give me a muffin-top. We had a great Halloween, once my husband got home from work to take us to houses where people actually were handing out candy. Somehow our neighbors didn't get the message and decided to leave their porch lights on and not answer their doors. I had a moment where I wondered if we were back in Germany.

  3. Love their costumes!!

    We did have a good Halloween. I wish more houses would have passed out candy though. I felt like I didn't get enough Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.


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