Dudes are Destructive: a Poem

I wrote a poem today, for anyone who is - or has ever wondered what it was like to be - the parent of a boy. (Complete with actual photos of my actual torn-up stuff. Ugh.) But first! Have you seen yesterday's post? Click here to find out some tidbits about me (like how I embarrassed myself in a foreign country and what I did after my first makeout session) - and then, at the bottom, join the linkup with your own post! I want to learn random weird stuff about you too! It's like a sleepover where we tell secrets only with less pajamas and sleeping and over-ing.

Anyway, without further ado ... le poetry. I know: Poet Laureate material right here, y'all.

If you're thinking of adding a bundle of joy
To your family, be warned: you might get a boy.
If you like your affairs all tidy and clean
Be prepared for your life to look less-than-pristine.

Boys snicker at farts and talk about balls
(All types) as they - oops! - bust holes in your walls.

Boys burp on command, and run around bare
Through the kitchen and - uh oh! - knock over your chair.

Boys use all your Band-aids as stickers and tape
And are carelessly mindless of things that go scraaaaape.

Boys stain, rip, shred, tear up, and tatter their clothes
And their three month old shoes get holes in the toes.

Boys roughhouse and wrestle, bruise limbs, eyes, and heads;
When you get a hotel room, they jump on the beds.

Boys ransack through closets and rummage through drawers
And - whoops! - bust your compact all over the floor.

Boys aren't outright malicious - it's not like they mean
To drop your new tablet and shatter the screen.

And they can melt hearts when they're snuggling each other,
Or sharing a treat with a sucker-less brother.

And they're good for a laugh when they're clowning around,
Or strutting their stuff in a "costume" they've found.

And no matter what, through laughter or drama,
One thing is constant: boys loooove them some Mama.

All things considered, there's no bigger blessing - 
They make up for the times when they're fighting or messing.

So if your heart's set on expanding your brood
It's actually awesome to parent a dude.

You might like it so much that you try to have more ...
Just be careful ...

Because you could end up with four.


  1. Yet, when compared to all the rest
    You've end up with four of the best.


  2. I can attest to the fact that this is all true, including the fun and the love! Wouldn't trade these guys for anything......I'm their Mimi!

  3. I love this poem and can totally relate!

  4. OMG, you wrote this poem for me...
    I have 4 boys who love to pee,
    on anything, even the sink.
    Oh and do boys stink....
    They make messes, and destroy lots of stuff,
    but there's one thing for certain,
    I wouldn't trade them for nothing...
    I also have 1 girl too,
    who loves to shops for shoes....

  5. Hahaha I only have two boys but I felt every scrape, broken furniture, every fart and bogey and the actual joy BOYS bring as my 4 year old said I am the boss and the queen and he loves me!

  6. My two boys have actually grown up, only a 19 year old at home ,but I loved reading this as it all rang true. My only regret is not taking enough photos, but back in the day you had to get them processed. You saved the precious film for scenes where everyone was looking clean and happy! I came through relatively sane given the mishaps and messes. What am I talking about- I'm still driven mad by pee stains and snot - it is indeed a constant battle.


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