(Spoiler alert: it's a mom of six boys, finding out that her seventh baby is a girl. But I'm sure you know that already if you've been on social media at all today.)
It's a sweet video - the mom screams and falls out like she's won the lottery, and everybody seems thrilled. And I say, if they wanted a girl that badly, good for them!
But this video also makes me sad in a way that only parents of either all boys or all girls can understand. Because it helps perpetuate the thought that everybody and their dog seems to have: you MUST have children of both genders to feel fulfilled. "A GIRL IS FINALLY ON THE WAY!" and "SEVENTH TIME'S THE CHARM!" the accompanying headlines trumpet. Did I miss something? Were the first six times not charming? Was there a problem with the all-boy thing?
As you know, I have four boys. And as hard-to-fathom as it seems to be, I like it this way.
Do I complain about them? You bet your ass. In fact, if you've "liked" my Facebook page, you probably saw that I just posted a poem about how my sons pee all over their toilet, and I suspect this wouldn't happen if they were daughters. But when I gripe about stuff like that, I'm just being a mom - not a mom who is disappointed that I only have a houseful of dudes.
Some of the most heartbreaking moments I've experienced have been during my pregnancies - especially with Corbin, boy #4 - when people acted disappointed that I was having another child of the same gender. Like, literally looked visibly crestfallen. I got that reaction from friends. From family! I may as well have told them I had cancer, or that my dog just died. And it was always followed by a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and the inevitable: "Well, maybe next time you'll get your girl. You are going to try again, aren't you?"
No. We're not going to try again. And do you wanna know the biggest reason why?
It's because I don't want to risk having a girl at this point. I don't want anyone - let alone my four precious, amazing, wonderful boys - to think that we just kept trying because they weren't good enough. I hear that all the time, right in front of my sons ... that I must be somehow incomplete because I haven't birthed a child of the female variety. That people feel sorry for me. That I neeeeeeed a little girl. Why? Because my sons aren't good enough? How must it make them feel to hear that? Do they sense people's pity that I have all these "icky" boys and not a single princess in the house? Because it's palpable.
Don't pity me, people. Don't pity anyone with a houseful of boys (or girls!) and assume that they walk around with some kind of deep-down void.
I may have wrestling, jeans-ripping, furniture-destroying dudes, and a toilet that requires a hazmat suit to clean, but believe me when I say this: I love it. I love them. And I can assure you, nothing is missing.
... Except maybe people who understand that.