I may be decent at Trivia Crack, but don't let that fool you - there is a lot of stuff that I don't understand. Like, for example, how Kanye West can have that much ego. Or why certain brands of pickles say a serving size is half a pickle (go ahead, check your fridge, I'll wait). Or anything involving "the maths." Oh yeah, and Spam - the "meat product," not the email kind ... although I don't understand computer spammers, either, come to think of it.
But you wanna know the latest thing I don't get? Like, at all?
SURPRISE EGG VIDEOS.
Unless you've prohibited any and all screen time for your child (I bet you feed him kale chips, too, don't you?), you've probably seen these. My younger kids - five and nearly three - adore the crap out of them. They think they're egg-cellent and will scramble to watch them (heh heh. I got jokes). And my question, typically met with a shrug from my children while they stare, open-mouthed and fascinated, is this: what in the actual hell is so awesome about these videos? There are thousands of them, and they are all pretty much the same ... which is to say, close-up videos of people's hands opening up plastic and/or chocolate eggs with little toys inside. Kind of like these, except usually a little more fancy, with brand names and characters on them.
Some of them are long ... like half an hour. Some of them have narration (my youngest's favorite features a guy who sounds suspiciously like Jim Bob Duggar). All I know is that my kids watch them like they're viewing some kind of riveting, Oscar-worthy performance. And they act like I've insulted their grandma when I dare to question their taste in YouTube videos.
What's the appeal? Is it the element of not knowing what's inside the egg until - ta-da!! - it's cracked open and revealed before their very eyes? I'm pretty sure there are a lot of other things that could be equally surprising, and yet they wouldn't be so excited about those. Like watching somebody open birthday presents for an extended period of time. Or watching someone put together a 1000-piece puzzle. (Yawn.) Or for that matter, watching closely while someone poops: will it be green? Soft? OH, THE SUSPENSE!
Actually now that I think about it they would probably like that last one. Boys are gross.
My point is, the apparent amazingness of these surprise egg videos continues to escape me. But I'll say one thing for this baffling trend: it buys me some time to hit up the bathroom in peace, which is pretty much invaluable. (Hey, I'm not in a book called I Still Just Want to Pee Alone by accident.)
I think next time I give my kids chores to do, I'll write them on slips of paper and put them inside plastic eggs. Maybe it will minimize the whining.
... Ah, who am I kidding? Not even surprise eggs are awesome enough to do that.