Sending Out a Summer S.O.S.

I just dropped my kids off for their last full day of school. Tomorrow they get out at 12:25 and then they'll be all mine for the summer.

... All mine.

... For the summer.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Yes, I'm excited about not having to get up at the crack of dawn, drag my sleepy and complaining children out of bed, prod them relentlessly to get ready, herd them into the van, make sure everyone has every backpack and project and lunch box and permission slip, and schlep all of them to school. (Although I guarantee you this: while they balk now at waking up by 6:30, they'll happily bounce out of bed when they do have the opportunity to sleep in. There's some unwritten rule in the kid handbook.)

On the other hand, all that weekday morning hassle pales in comparison to the shitstorm that's coming. Namely ...

The. Bickering.

Sometimes my kids get along and play nicely (although seeing as I have four boys, even "nice" play can involve pummeling each other). But when they spend too much time together - so basically, on weekends and school breaks - it's a recipe for stress. They fight like cats and dogs about the most inane and unimportant stuff. We get tearful meltdowns and all-out skirmishes over who gets to be what character while they're wrestling, or who gets to wear the shorts that "don't bother their balls" (yes, really). Their tattling voices haunt me in my sleep. I need to just wear black and white stripes and a whistle for the next few months, because all I'll be doing is acting as referee.

This incessant grousing at each other is bad enough, but there's another threat to my summertime sanity ...


Y'all already know I'm not a fun mom. I work from home, and my work doesn't take a summertime hiatus, and I have to get my stuff done in the midst of a loud, whirling chaos (like, literally: my "office" is in the middle of my kitchen until the budget allows for a basement remodel). So I have something to say to the parents who let their kids out the door in the morning and allow them to wander throughout the neighborhood unsupervised and show up unannounced at the door asking to play every couple of hours:

JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT THEM OUT OF YOUR HAIR DOESN'T MEAN I WANT THEM IN MINE.

Like seriously.

If I want to have your kids over to play with my kids, I will invite your kids over to play with my kids. Thank you and good day.

I know I sound horrible right now; I'm just ranting. There are definitely things I look forward to about summer break. But the transition period from school to OMG NO SCHOOL LET'S GO CRAZY! is pretty difficult, and I'm kinda worried that the next couple weeks of my life are going to suck.

Anybody wanna share their best summer survival tips, or how you ease into a new routine? GO!


1 comment:

  1. You don't sound horrible — I agree 100%. I'm not a fun mom either. I have no wisdom to offer. GOOD LUCK!

    ReplyDelete

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