The Burnout

What's that rusty, creaking noise? Oh yeah - it's my fingers on the keyboard because it's been a minute since I've written anything. At all. For the first time in ... oh, I can't even remember how long.

I know. My last post regarding vaginal freshness is difficult to top (probably due to the chance to win $100 just by leaving a comment - have you done that yet? - but whatever.) But I feel like I need to leave something here. If not a proper blog post, then at least a virtual note explaining that I'm freaking overwhelmed.

I went to my first blogging conference in June. And I had an absolute blast, and I met some amazing people, and I loved every minute of it. But I also came away with fourteen handwritten pages of notes. Notes about stuff I need to do, like make my pins "rich" on Pinterest (WTF?) and create a media kit and optimize my keywords and develop an editorial calendar and share on certain social media outlets at certain times to improve my "reach." And then I'm a member of fifteen thousand (okay, possibly a slight exaggeration) Facebook groups for bloggers who are trying to do the same thing - and there's an endless discussion about how to grow and publicize our blogs and wave after wave of other people's content to share and promote and ... I'm drowning in it. I'm drowning.


When I started blogging six years ago, I didn't know blogging was a business. Maybe back then it wasn't, or maybe it has just taken me a reeeeeally long time to realize that it is. Either way, I didn't start my blog with the idea of garnering money or fame from it: I just wanted to write shit down and hope that someone, somewhere, could leave a comment and tell me I'm not alone. And that's still what I want, but it has gotten bogged down with the "business" side of things. I remember the days when it didn't matter - at least to me - what my monthly pageviews were, or how many new fans I'd gathered on the blog's Facebook page. But then I found myself spending huge chunks of my day, putting forth tons of time and effort, on building up those numbers. And for what? Certainly not a paycheck. Outside of the occasional sponsored post (see: vaginal freshness), I make next to nothing from blogging.

I love the writing, but I hate the business. With the fire of a raging hemorrhoid doused in rubbing alcohol. Sadly, though, it seems that these days, you have to do that stuff in order to stay relevant (or to even become relevant in the first place).

I don't even know exactly what I'm trying to say here (I guess that's what I get for not flexing my "writing muscle" in so long). Only that I've been trying to take a step back and center myself and return to the heart of my blog, which is - and always will be - the stuff I write because I love to write stuff down.

I'm going back and revisiting my old posts, things I wrote when writing was my only focus: like WAHM Bam and Holly Hawks and Tact vs. Truth and A Fart on the Chart and Homewrecking Heathens. I love them like they're my little wordy children. I love them because I didn't care if they were "universally appealing" or got a lot of "likes" and shares - they were my stories, and they were funny and touching, and I enjoyed telling them for no reason other than that.

So that's what I need to get back to doing. Blogging because I love blogging.

Anyway, y'all, there you have it: an explanation for my hiatus. That, and the fact that summertime with four children all day erry day is kicking my ass, but that's an entirely different story.

Maybe I'll write a post about it.

6 comments:

  1. I hope to go to a blog conference one day! I could use some tips.

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  2. It's about freaking time; your blogging cherry almost grew back. The internet misses you.

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  3. I'm SO glad you wrote this. I left Blog U feeling the same way! Looking at my notes exhausted me, and I didn't write much for a month after because I was like, "Will this go viral?!"
    Now I'm back to just having fun and writing and laughing or crying or whatever the hell I'm doing that day, and that's more "me." :)

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  4. Hang in there, woman! The countdown to school has begun!!! : )

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  5. It can all be overwheming.... but I think you're doing the right thing, going back to your writing.

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  6. I read your blog because of it's authenticity (and because it makes me laugh, a lot). It may be selfish on my part, but don't let the business take the Rita out of Fightingfrumpy. There are many of us out here who want and need you. (I realize this is completely self-serving, because you're not makin' money off of me, so who am I to say.)

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