Eye be Funky

So apparently, I have a funky eye.

I don't mean a "funky eye" as in, an uncanny ability to combine weird patterns and strange fabrics into something fashionable (I have a hard enough time coordinating my stupid Walmart wardrobe) or to spot a '70s-throwback lamp at a thrift store and incorporate it successfully into my decor. When I say funky eye I mean that quite literally. Like, my left eye. Is funky. Like, goopy. And red. And swollen nearly shut. And this morning when I woke up, I couldn't even open it. I couldn't even pry my eyelids apart with my fingers, y'all.

I think it has something to do with my contact lens. I've worn the things for years, and sorely wish I didn't have to - but alas, my vision without them can be described as somewhere between "blurry" and "blind." I've hated them ever since I put in my first pair, as a wee tiny lass of eleven.*

*Wherein I sat so long at the eye doctor's office fumbling to put the damn things in my eyes that after a few hours they suggested I come back to try again the next day.

Anyway, I'm one of those people who waaaaay over-wears her contacts. Technically mine are supposed to be thrown away like every week or something - I don't even really know - but I wear them until they start to irritate me ... like three months or so. Oops. (Well, contacts are expensive, damn it!) Anyway, the other day my left one started getting this little white spot on it, like a protein deposit or something that I couldn't wash off. But I wore it anyway. I know, I'm a dumb-dumb. And now ... *cue dramatic voice* ... FUNKY EYE.

So I've got an appointment with the eye doctor today, where I will undoubtedly be given a sound scolding for abusing my precious peepers. I guess I deserve it. But trust me, it's punishment enough to be walking around in public looking like Quasimodo.

Only, you know, without the huge hunchback. Thank goodness.


  1. I just hope they don't tell you "Guess what, no more contacts." Happened to The Wife. It was four years before she could wear contacts again. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but GOOD LUCK!!!!

  2. I have terrible eyes, too. My mom is legally blind without her contacts, and I'm on my way of getting there. I wear glasses, though. I just can't do the contact thing - it freaks me out.

  3. Ok, not to be dramatic or anything, BUT...you gotta stop doing that. I used to wear my disposables non stop until the eye doctor finally told me..."your blood vessells are growing INTO your cornea, looking for oxygen. IF you continue to do this, you will go blind." Point taken. I took my contacts out EVERY DAY after that. BUT, then I was like you and I kept my disposables and wore the same pair for 6 months a year, whatever (still took them out nightly). Now....i can't wear contacts at all. I have so much scar tissue under my eyelids and constant corneal scratches. AWFUL! So, just sayin.....take care of those eyes. Hope your back to normal ASAP.
    And also....sorry for being every so absent in blog land. I think I'm back. Gonna go read a few of your latest entries that I've missed.

  4. if your eye felt like it was suddenly larger than usual before it started getting red and goopy (trust me - if you've had the feeling this makes sense) then you have pink eye. so attractive but also easily cured - but you will be out of contacts for a while as you get better.

    And throw that pair AWAY!!!

  5. Hey! I'be been reading for awhile, but this is my first comment. My friend had something similar, and it was an ulcer on her eye. Hopefully it's something else, and you won't have to wear an eye-patch for months!


  6. I was just like you when I first got my contacts. I just sat at the doctor's office, trying to put the things in, and I could see the frustration on everyone's faces. But c'mon! They were asking me to touch my eye!

  7. I know they're expensive but if you're going to wear them, then change them when you're supposed to! Your eyes are too important to take chances!

  8. went through the same thing last year, and the same lecture from the eye doc. ....like anyone can afford to throw those suckers away after a week, even month!

  9. I say get lasik. It may be expensive, but I'm a HUGE fan. :) I was the same with the abuse I did to my eyes and had to stop wearing contacts. Not because the doctor told me to stop, but because it felt like I had a cat scratching my eyes out every time I wore them. And the blood-shottedness was not all that attractive. True story!



Post a Comment

Commenting makes you big and strong! Okay, maybe just strong. Okay, so it's only your fingers. But still ...

Popular Posts