Weenis is the New Boolin

Back in the '80s, my brother Steve had a tail.

Not that kind of tail, silly (although I have questioned his species of origin on a few occasions) ... I'm talking about this kind ... you know, the infamous "rat tail" ... the similarly hideous cousin of the mullet.

Photo courtesy of mulletjunky.com. (Yes, there really is a site devoted to all things mullet.) 

What's more, Steve used to wear his tail ... braided.

I'll pause, because it sometimes takes a while to wrap your mind around all that '80s-era goodness.

Anyway, he couldn't braid it himself, so he'd recruit my mom to do it. And one time, after she'd finished braiding, she found herself in need of an elastic band to secure it with. Being a household with three girls, we had an abundance of hair ties in a rainbow of colors, and Mom told my brother, "Hand me a blue one."

"A boolin?" he repeated.

Henceforth, in homage to Steve's ridiculous level of deafness to our mother's voice, hair ties were known as "boolins" around our house. In fact, I was in my mid-twenties before I started using the term "hair tie" with any regularity.

Fast-forward to present day. My parents live on a lake (well, like beside it technically - it's not like their house is up on stilts - but you know what I mean). So as soon as the weather starts to warm up, there's always somebody fishing. This past weekend I was at their house, poking around in the kitchen, when I came across a random fishing lure on the counter.

"What's that?" my mom asked, squinting.

"Oh, just a stray weenis," I replied.

"Oh," she said, and we went on about our business.

When I actually thought about that, it cracked me up: number one, that I would refer to fishing lures as "weenises" in the first place, and number two, that my mom would know exactly what I meant and it didn't even register as odd. See, Colin has been calling them weenises - for reasons still unknown to me - since he was barely three years old. Like "boolin," it has crept into my family's vernacular and stuck there.

What can I say? Weenis is the new boolin.

Does your family use any crazy made-up words?

PS - Did you see my photo yesterday over at Parenting By Dummies' Dude Mom Monday? Check it out - especially if you're a fellow mom to dudes!


  1. OMG! I totally remember you calling them Boolins now!! P.S. Rat tails are hideous creatures.

  2. Weenis? HA HA!

    I had a tail. It was so bitchen and awesome. Sometimes I'll still sit around and dream that I had that thing again.

  3. Ahaha! I like the word weenis.
    My sister and I regularly refer to people that we don't care for as "pieces of junk". As in, "I can't believe that he told you that your hair looked like a horse's tail. What a piece of junk."
    It isn't a made up word I guess, just more of an odd usage.

  4. When my grandma doesn't know the word for something she calls it a "do-hickey." But it isn't really funny because she'll point towards a general area of the room and say, "Bring me that do-hickey," but then if you don't bring her the right thing she gets mad. Really mad.

  5. I would view my son asking me to braid his rat tail as implicit permission to cut it off. And so I would

  6. LOL, at least our family has specific words for those items now. I used to call everything a "thing" if I couldn't remember the word. Once I told my cousin that my parents got a Christmas card from the Governor of MO with a big picture of his (couldn't think of the word "mansion") thing on the front. My cousin gasped, "Really?! Isn't that illegal or something?" That's when I quit using the word "thing" as a substitute for other words. ;o)

  7. ooh ooh! I remember! My high school boyfriend and I used to refer to crazy old people as "kookshit". I really like that word and still use it to this day. I fully intend on being kookshit when I'm old.... wait, I think I already am.

  8. I used to call farts 'muffers.' I guess that's made up...

    I remember a lot of boys had tails growing up. I always wanted to pull them.

  9. We have three terms I can think of off the top of my head - 2 are attributed to Drake. In his own mind, for some reason, the word "yellow" means "another" - that is one. The second is he calls "music" - "icky" .... so we turn on the radio in the car to listen to icky.

    Lastly one that came from a friend of a friend of Morgan's. This guy's brother would drive around parking lots F-O-R-E-V-E-R looking for the closest spot. His name was Bruce. He wouldn't park until he found the perfect (close) spot, so now, we all call a great parking spot find, a "Bruce" - lol

  10. My sister and her friend tried to get "Ryan" to catch on as a substitute for "cool". It didn't stick. That's so ryan, not so ryan. HA!

    And a previous co-worker dubbed all idiots "mo-mo's" or "mo" for short. That one stuck!

  11. Haha, very funny post. I can't think of any made up words, but, my dad like to say "he/she holds claim." He uses this whenever he doesn't believes someones excuse..."he holds claim that he passed the test, but, I haven't seen any grades." I suppose it is a roundabout way calling someone a liar.

    I am a new fan.



  12. We didn't have made up words, but my mom gave us all Olympic names and calls us by those names whenever the Olympics were on. I am Svetlana (real name - Tiffany). My sister is Tatiana (real name - Heather). My brother is Ludwig (just called Ludy, though - real name - Timmy). My dad is Boris (real name - Tim). Kind of strange, huh?

    We also all vacation together every summer and have a prize for the person that can work "ambiguous genitalia" into conversations with strangers the most while we're there. We've been playing this game for about 5 years now. I think we're earning a reputation around the small town that we always go to.

    We also regularly "ranch" people when we go out to eat with my parents or with my siblings. This consists of getting a little to-go container of ranch dressing on the way out of a restaurant and then leaving it on someone's rear view mirror in the parking lot. I have no idea why we do this!

    That's my family!


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