- It was 80 degrees here in Iowa yesterday. I walked (okay, waddled) around perpetually pit-stained and sweating in places where only somebody's fat grandpa should sweat. Yet by Saturday? It's supposed to be like 49 degrees. What the eff, Midwestern weather? I should be used to these ridiculous temperature fluctuations, having been born and predominantly raised in this general region, but holy crapola. Don't mess around with me like that, Mother Nature, especially while I'm pregnant.
- Speaking of pregnant. I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm 35 weeks with a GARGANTUAN belly (seriously, y'all) and I was sincerely hoping the doctor would be like, "Oh my goodness! Let's just get that baby on out of there because obviously he weighs like nineteen pounds by now."
See what I mean? I took this one two weeks ago. And believe it or not, there's been significant belly gain just in those two weeks. Ugh!
Anyway, so I went to the doctor. First I saw an intern, who measured me and then got all frowny and checked my chart and measured me again and was like, "Wow, you have big babies, don't you? Oh, and they get bigger each time?! Har har har." And then I saw my actual doctor who measured me yet again - for good measure, I guess (insert laugh track here) - and he literally said, "Whoa, that's a huge baby. Well, see you in two weeks!"
Meanwhile, I feel like I'm about to split in half and everywhere I go, people think I'm either a.) about to give birth on the floor or b.) shoplifting. How the hell am I supposed to last another month? The baby is gaining like a pound a week. Where am I going to put another four pounds of baby?! If you read a news story about an expectant mother just exploding, you can be all, "Hey, I know that girl!"
- Coby is potty training like a CHAMP. I could not be more thrilled. Since I wrote about it last (oh my exciting life!) he is pretty much using the toilet 95% of the time ... on his own. Meaning I don't have to take him and manually place him on the throne 9,855 times a day. This is working out beautifully as long as he isn't wearing pants. I know that eventually I will have to get the child dressed from the waist down, but I'm hoping that by the time we need to go anywhere for more than an hour at a time, he'll be enough in the habit to stay dry.
Just a minute ago, I heard him messing with the toilet, so I went to see what he was doing. There was a turd trail from the boys' bedroom, a huge smear on the toilet seat, and his tiny little rear-end was covered with poo - but there was some in the actual toilet, so I count that as a success! Woohooo! I've just got to keep a positive attitude about it: while I'm cleaning up the kid with baby wipes and the mess with Clorox wipes, I keep repeating to myself two kids in diapers. Two kids in diapers. Two kids in diapers. It could be worse!
- Remember the other day when I blogged about Colin's suspiciously changed behavior at school (read it here)? Well, Curtis and I have an appointment to meet with his teacher on Friday. But yesterday, even though Colin had nothing but a smiley face in his daily report, he came out of school telling us that he'd been sent to the office at lunchtime for something that another kid did. He was pretty upset about it, so Curtis called the school to clarify what had happened. Long story short, the lunchroom monitor straight-up admitted to my husband that she had sent Colin to the office instead of the other boy because the other boy is confrontational and Colin is not.*
*bolded and italicized so the ridiculousness of that statement can truly sink in
EXCUSE ME?? You dumped my kid's lunch tray in the trash and sent him to sit out the rest of lunch in the office because you didn't want to deal with a confrontation from the kid who caused the problem??
I'm furious about this. And the school hasn't heard the last of it. Tell me, before I make an utter ass of myself: am I overreacting, Mama-bear style, or is this actually as infuriating as I think it is?
- Curtis went to the store for peanut butter and brought home Peter Pan All-Natural. Normally I love me some Peter Pan (I guess I'm not such a "choosy mom" since I don't choose JIF), but this variety is DRY as a BONE. OMG. I took a bite off a spoon and it took me like fifteen minutes to swallow.
Okay. I think that's all. Random enough for ya?