To the First-Time Moms ...

I don't usually shell out unsolicited advice. But to anyone reading who's pregnant with her first child?

ENJOY IT. Enjoy it like crazy. And then enjoy it some more, for those of us who don't have the luxury.

And trust me, it is a luxury.

Oh sure, you may be sick or swollen like a blimp or feel like you've been kicked in the crotch or are sprouting weird hairs in unfortunate places. I don't mean you have to enjoy that. But, y'all? Savor the fact that you still have the ability to do something about it; this is largely confined to your first pregnancy, unless you have a devoted house-husband to tend to your every need and whim (and if so, I hate you).

If you're swollen, you can sit down and put your feet up for a while without having to worry about someone - or multiple someones - climbing all over you like a jungle gym (or needing help with something in the other room the second your butt touches the couch). Those hairs? You can lock yourself in the bathroom with some wax for as long as it takes, without worrying that someone is sprinkling sugar all over your kitchen or pooping in an unacceptable location. If you're sick? You can get in the bed, alone, or at least hang over the toilet without hearing, "Mommy! Mommy, are you throwing up? Mommy, can I watch?" Perhaps exhaustion is your problem? Then going to bed at 6:30 is your prerogative ... no waiting until baths and homework are complete and Scooby Doo is over or it's "dark enough" outside. Too tired to cook? Then don't! There's no one in your house unable to feed him or herself ... yet! Not one iota of bad-mom guilt to worry about!

I remember being pregnant with Colin, seven long years ago, and doing things like napping on the couch and eating cookies for dinner just because that's what I wanted. Now those things seem like a faraway dream. I've got stuff to do that just can't be neglected unless I want Child Protective Services knocking at my door. Like feeding my kids (relatively) balanced meals and providing them with clean clothes and basic hygiene, since for the most part they're all too young to do any of that themselves. And helping Colin get ready for school and stuff. And refereeing brotherly squabble after brotherly squabble. It doesn't matter if I've had five hours of spotty sleep and feel hung over and look like somebody's grandpa.

So. If you're expecting your first child? SAVOR THE EXPERIENCE. At no other time will you be able to take care of yourself the way you can right now. Each pregnancy will get progressively more tiring, and there won't be a damn thing you can do about it.

... Except take to your blog and complain bitterly. Not that I'd know anything about that. ;)


  1. Loved this! Thanks for starting my day out with a smile :)

    Debby Templeton

  2. Oh, how I wish I could go back and tell myself the same thing. I wish I would have appreciated it more. I am not in your shoes, I can't imagine how hard having 3 plus one on the way is. I have a just turning 2 year old and one due next month and it's so hard! If I had a house husband I would do nothing but lay on the couch all day with my peanuts and ice cream cones. My husband is super helpful, but I do so much more when he isn't around, he's my crutch.

  3. ha - I totally took a nap on the couch this afternoon, and there may in fact be cookies in my dinner, lol.I've actually found this pregnancy to be a great motivator to get the kids doing more stuff on their own- mommy can't bend over right now, you have to put on your own shoes. two months ago Jack wouldn't do anything by himself, now he gets dressed on his own every morning *shoes and socks too) and buckles his own seat belt in the car. Have to get them as self sufficient as possible before the baby gets here and takes away all my attention and free hands!

  4. I have thought this many many times. Even after the baby was born it was cake. she napped, I napped. She didn't move, I didn't move. Now our house is in constant motion and the only time I have to myself is after kiddies are in bed. (you know, once it's dark enough). So I fritter it away by looking at blogs and laughing. Laundry? Sweeping? Nah.

  5. OMG - SO true! And not just for the pregnancy, but the newborn hell also. I have no idea why I was so exhausted with my first baby. I could nap when she napped, feed her without someone pointing to my stomach and asking why "mommy's tummy is so big with lots of owies." Ahem.

  6. I could not agree more! Take the time and RELAX! You NEVER will again!

  7. Had to chuckle out loud at the "Mommy? Can I watch?" part with throwing up. I have four kids, and the middle two watched me throw up during some weird back pain episode. "Mom, I don't want to see you throw up ..." So don't watch, LOL!

    To have alone time in the bathroom again. To watch Buffy episodes back to back during the day (what? I had two weeks between starting mat-leave and my first child arriving). To eat ice cream with a spoon FROM THE CONTAINER ... during the day!

    First time mom's don't realize how mom's of more than one child envy them :) The pregnancy and the baby stage. I can't believe I felt so busy with one child - now I have four and I can't imagine what I did during the day when I had one, LOL!


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