Jittery and Jiggly

When your definition of "personal success" includes removing a booger from your newborn's nose without waking him, you know it's time to do something different.

For me, that's getting back to teaching Zumba. One year ago next month, I looked like this:

A proud (fit, tanned) newly-licensed Zumba instructor. 

And then I looked like this:

Less tan, less fit, six months pregnant, but still proud. 

And then my metabolism was all, hahahahaha screw you! and took an unauthorized vacation and I gained like forty extra pounds despite all the Zumba. And then my baby was all,hahahahaha screw you! and flipped around at the last minute so that he required to be extracted by C-section and I had to take a whole six weeks before I could do anything more strenuous than walking.

So yeah. It's been a while. One might say I'm totally a little out of the groove.

And yet? I've committed myself to return to teaching Zumba the first week of August. It's only three times a week at first, as opposed to the six classes I was teaching before, but still ... I'm scared, y'all. I've been going to some classes here and there for about a week now, just to prepare myself before I jump back into the game, and have encountered jiggle, unfortunate cameltoe, ill-fitting workout clothing, and total awkwardness ...

... all from myself. Boooooo.

I feel like I no longer fit the profile of Zumba instructor, but instead, look more like this:

Not me, but a close approximation.

I don't know how I'm going to do it! I can barely shuffle through thirty minutes of practice here at home, and at the gym, I feel like a total newbie. Like I've never taught a class. Yet in one short week - next Thursday OMG I think I just peed - I'll be back in front of a roomful of people who are watching me shake my (wobbly) thang.

*gulp* ....

PS - I had to interrupt the writing of this post to investigate A TURD STUCK TO THE WALL. I couldn't make this stuff up, you guys.


  1. It could be worse, you could be me who hasn't exercised since um ... ever. I have at least 40lbs I'd love to lose too. Wish I could go to your Zumba class! I'd boost your self esteem by 110%! lol

    I'm sure you'll do amazing and it will feel like you never left within a day or so.

  2. Way to get back in to it! I'm sure you'll be great!

  3. You will do fine.You just had your 4th child, and I know exactly how you feel, because I have five c-sections, and things never go back to their original place. And if anyone makes fun of you, or cracks jokes about camel toe. Just boot them in there A%% and kick them out of your class...LOL
    P.S. you've encouraged me to check to see if a Zumba class is near anywhere I live.

    Reading your blog regularly,

  4. Personally, my favorite gym classes are taught by women who look REAL and not like they LIVE at the gym. Make a joke about it at the beginning of class and then kick their butts to make them want to come back. Invite them to go on your journey with you and be the inspiration for some other moms out there. You're gonna be awesome!

  5. OMG I am lauging so hard at that picture. I have saved it to my computer and will reference it the next time I'm thinking about killing someone.

  6. I just took my first zumba class on saturday and I can fully attest to the amount of sad jiggling that happens post partum. I had thought my recovery was going nicely until I caught a glimpse in the mirror of all the loose skin on my abdomen shaking its groove thang. Charming.

    I'm sure you will do great!

  7. You'll be awesome! And that poor girl I the picture - cracking me up. And is a turd on the wall what I have to look forward to
    Being the mom of
    Boy? Eek.

  8. You will be beautiful and real ... and by doing those classes, not only will you inspire and encourage women, but you will also be working the weight off!

  9. You did an AMAZING job of getting in shape after Coby was born, so I know you can do it again! Just keep it real and don't over-do. Remember, a C-section is major surgery!

  10. I.can't.stop.laughing at that awesome picture of "not you"! Did you see the guy in the back? He's totally freaked out!

    Over the last year I joined a fitness boot camp class and finally as my "baby" is turning 2 have lost all my baby weight... you'll be amazing and more importantly feel amazing... it'll help you mentally prepare for things like removing turds from walls :)


  11. So proud of you! Muscle memory is a wonderful thing and you will be surprised at how fast you get it back

  12. I had something else to say, but I'm laughing my ass off at the absolutely horrified looks on the faces of the guys in the background of that "not you" picture.

  13. I will be you will do amazing .... you know, sort of that winning smile when you hit the stage! Great under pressure!

  14. Girl - you got this!! Zumba is all about fun and shakin' what your momma gave ya ... even if its no longer tight or perky - ha!! You'll be back in shape in no time! :o)


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