Back to School, Fool

My kids went back to school this week, and to tell you the truth, I wasn't all that excited about it.

Don't worry - if you were super-stoked and doing cartwheels down the street when your kids went back, I am totally on board with that. Usually, I'm the mom who is secretly counting down the days until they're out of my hair for a little while. Ah, who am I kidding - I'd count down the hours if I were better at math. I don't know about you, but I always feel like kind of an asshole when I see somebody posting on Facebook or whatever about, "Oh, I don't want my kids to go back to school! I've so enjoyed having them home!" Because then I'm like, " ... Oh. *cough* Oh yeah. Me ... me too."

It's not that I don't love them, or love being with them for short periods as long as there is no whining/bickering/physical fighting involved, but there can definitely be too much of a good thing. It's just that when all my kids are together 24 hours a day for weeks at a time, they are a.) arguing with each other over eeeeeeeverything ("Colin's smiling at meeeee!") or b.) creating new ways to make messes. Either way, it's no bueno for Mom. So when I hear that another mom is dreading her kids' return to school, I can't help but wonder a.) what's wrong with me because I can't handle my own children's natural children-ness or b.) what's wrong with my kids because they clearly aren't well-behaved enough to not drive me completely insane. Which always translates into me suspecting I'm a bad mom. And me suspecting I'm a bad mom equals emergency stuffing of my face with chocolate to make myself temporarily feel better which equals looking like a sausage in a casing when I put on my jeans which equals feeling like a fat piece of crap.

Anyway, what I'm telling you in a reeeeeeeally roundabout sort of way is that under normal circumstances I can't wait for my kids to go back to school. But y'all? I was kind of dreading it this time, because that meant returning to the routine I had so happily brushed aside during the break. Back to the three daily trips to and from the school (dropping the kids off, picking Cameron up from preschool, then picking Colin up later) and the headache preparation that goes with each trip. We live too close to the school to qualify for the bus, even though it goes right by our house and could seriously just like STOP for two seconds.

Hmmph.


If I had three wishes, this would be one of them. Along with the ability to eat whatever without gaining weight. And okay, okay .... world peace. 

It has been SO hard to get back into the swing of things. I am usually out of bed by 6:30 but without fail this entire week so far my kids have still been asleep at 7 o'clock which they NEVER do when we don't have to be anywhere (like seriously, why can't the little hoodlums do that crap on the weekends? Ugh). It is literally painful to wake sleeping children, especially when I myself would love to just stay in bed. But all this week, I've had forty-five minutes in which to get four children fed, dressed, out the door, and loaded into the car. So I've had to do it ... even though it hurts. You get a little rusty when you haven't done it in, oh, like three weeks or something.

It has been a little bit nice with just the two youngest around in the mornings again - because when one isn't old enough to talk, there's no arguing. But overall, yeah, I wasn't ready for school to start. Because there are always methods of coping with the bickering (deep breathing, earplugs, wine, locked doors, duct tape, tasers) but there's just no way around having to get my kids ready and delivered to school.

Which is why I've done it in my pajamas and glasses every day this week.

Baby steps, right?

11 comments:

  1. Have you called the bus company? The district my children attends encourages parents who would like their children to ride the bus, but who aren't far enough to make it the districts responsibility, to call the bus company and make arrangements. I don't know what it costs, but it might be worth looking in to for next year. :)

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    1. I checked into it last year. It's called "conditional busing" (bussing? Whatever) and it costs like $200 per year per child! Ridiculousness! Needless to say, I'd rather just haul them back and forth myself ...

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  2. I hear ya! I hate the routine too! But the only (teeny tiny) glimmer of sanity is that there is a sub bus driver, so he's been late therefore giving me 5-7 extra minutes to get that extra sip of coffee down. I mean, get my kids backpack ready... Potato/po-tah-to

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    1. 5 to 7 extra minutes is like morning routine GOLD! What are you going to do when the normal bus driver comes back?! Yikes!

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  3. Rita, you must have superpowers to get 4 out the door in 45 mins! Pajamas & glasses are perfectly appropriate attire under the circumstances and anyone who tells you otherwise is a butthead

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    1. Awwww!!! Bless you for saying that - you just made my day. :) I think it's just because I spend my whole morning shouting and threatening. Hehehe.

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  4. I, too, am impressed that you can get everyone ready and out the door in 45 minutes. PJ's and glasses are certainly acceptable under those circumstances! You know your OCD mother could never get that much accomplished in so little time!

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  5. I, too, am impressed that you can get everyone ready and out the door in 45 minutes. PJ's and glasses are certainly acceptable under those circumstances! You know your OCD mother could never get that much accomplished in so little time!

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  6. I even slipped up and wore my "zip up grandma style" robe to drop off :-)
    Big points over here!!

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  7. I am totally with you! I dread back to school! I like not having to pack lunches each night, the dreaded early morning wake up of a quiet sleeping child, homework and all that fun stuff. I work outside the home full time but I get every second Friday off (today is one my Fridays off) and as I was laying there all snug in my bed thinking about having to get up and wake up my Son and get him off to school I actually considered just letting him stay home from school today so I didn't have to get up! I lugged my big arse out of bed though and got him off to school but I did consider it, I am such a bad Mom!

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  8. Seriously cracking up at the methods to prevent bickering. Especially tasers.

    A week and a half with Henry had us thinking our daycare lady is underpaid. And that's only one. Girl. You have mad skills.

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