Break-ing Point

Before my kids were born, when I'd hear mothers counting down the days until their children's return to school from holiday or summer breaks, I'd get all judgy. Inwardly, I'd tsk tsk and think, "Why do people even have kids if they can't wait to send them away?"

All I can say now is: I UNDERSTAND.

Since Colin is my first school-aged child, this holiday break (all 408 hours of it) has been my first experience with extended school vacations. And dear gawd has it been rough. Whoever called this a "break" was delusional ... or at least, didn't have three squabbling little boys. The only thing on a break is my last shred of sanity. I'm thisclose to wandering the streets naked, muttering to myself.

The first few days - dare I say even the first week and a half - were manageable. Pleasant, even. But in this last week or so, the excitement of Christmas has worn off and the boredom of being at home has set in. And thus, shenanigans have ensued.

I swear that from the time I open my mouth in the morning to the time I finally get to close it at night, all that comes out are the following phrases or variations thereof:

Stop hitting/pinching/poking/scaring/bothering your brother.

Go put some pants on.

That's inappropriate.

Get down from there.

When I tell you to do something, it means do it now.

Absolutely not.


Don't eat that!

Why is he crying?

... And perhaps a few threats.

In fact, I just had to take a break from writing this blog. I thought I was safe, seeing as the kids were playing happily for the moment ... but no. Wanna know what called me from the keyboard? I had to rescue Cameron, whose head was stuck between the piano and the wall.

Yeah. Really. I'll let that one sink in for a minute.

When I came back to the computer, the baby had managed to climb up, turn it off, and spill a cup of water - all in a matter of a minute or two. And by the time I remedied those situations, Colin ran in screaming that Cameron had forced him to eat a bug.

Folks, this isn't a cluster of particularly bad events. And nothing has been embellished even one iota for the sake of the blog. THIS HAS BEEN THE NORM. For, like, a week now.

And my house. My house. Every surface is crusty and cluttered. There are enough crumbs in my living room carpet to feed an entire village of starving children ... for a year. Even the dog has a crusty patch in her fur, where I'm pretty sure someone spilled orange juice on her. Either that or it's dried snot - which is, unfortunately, entirely possible.

So yeah. I can't wait for Colin to go back to school. Because managing two kids is infinitely easier than mediating between three.

Let's just hope my last, frazzled nerve makes it through today ...

PS - I almost forgot to tell you guys! If you haven't noticed, the Frump has a new feature: a cool video bar right up at the top of the page. I've partnered with Her Channel to bring you some helpful, relevant (and entertaining!) videos if you wanna click on through ... and eventually, I'll have some of my own videos up there as well. (OMG, a vlog! New territory, y'all!)


  1. OMG..... You just described my house perfectly!!! I am so glad it is not just me. KIDS ARE SOOO MESSY!!! and they constantly want to eat!! Those phrases are ALL TOO familiar to me!! Let me just tell you this. when all three or even two are in school it will be even more SWEEEEEEEET when they have to go back.

  2. The break is for us teachers. We need it way more than the kids. Although, I am pretty sick of my own kids now and eager to get back to being annoyed by other people's kids.

  3. But wait, you have a piano? At least his head was stuck between the piano and the wall...he could totally be absorbing asthetically pleasing sounds whilst stuck. Just sayin.

    I'm so glad to hear that there were some threats and yelling going on there too. Seriously, why do our kids not BELIEVE us when we tell them something, such as STOP or else? UGH!

    Hope your life gets back to a more manageable chaos and soon.

  4. Aw... the memory , There were times that I thought about putting stop that!, leave your brother and or sister alone, get down from there, close the fridge door, pick up this mess, don't scream, and no jumping on the furniture on tape so I didn't have to repeat myself every three minutes. I was so... glad when scholl started again. After the first three days of a break, I was completely nuts.

  5. My son is only 3, so I have yet to deal with school breaks. I work full time, though... But I can relate with the crumbs. It doesn't feel right after I sweep or vaccuum, not feeling the crumbs stick to the bottom of my feet.

  6. I was SO EXCITED for my kids to go back to school today. They have been fighting and yelling and getting into EVERYTHING and OMG, did I need the break!!!

  7. I am laughing so hard right now. Silently, on the inside so as to not disturb my coworkers, but definitely laughing. You have such a hilarious way with words. :-)

  8. Love it! I have 4 boys (the 7 and almost-6 year old go to school) and we can't WAIT to get them out of the house at least for a few hours each day! I can't deal with all the FIGHTING!!!!

  9. I, too, have three boys - slightly older though. My record was broken on "Mind your own business and don't worry about what your brother is/is not doing". My teen feels like he has the right to boss is siblings around, when I'm standing in the same room! It's infuriating because of the angst it causes.

  10. I did a post on this exact same thing yesterday.
    My dad was a stay at home dad and I actually called him today to thank him for not killing us when we were kids and home on break. He just laughed because he could hear the "Thank God its Monday" relief in my voice.

  11. I can certainly attest to the fact that you're not exaggerating when you describe your typical day. Your boys are bright, energetic, free-thinking little guys who always amaze me with the things they do and say. Keeping up with them requires huge amounts of energy and wit, and you seem to have plenty of both. Send Colin off to school tomorrow and enjoy a slightly-less-complicated time at home. ;o)Oh, and give them all a kiss for me!

  12. not only did I have the kids at home on vacations - I had their father as well because of him being a teacher - I honestly celebrated (like it was Christmas) when they went back to school

  13. Oh My GOSH! I can totally relate! I love my kids, but I like our schedule. Having them home with me all day every day can be more challenging than I'm prepared to put up with!


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