Gym. Coffee. Shove It, HauteLook.

Advertising is a part of life. Largely annoying, but necessary to fuel the consumer-driven society we live in. I barely pay attention to ads, until there's one that drives me bat-crap-crazy ... like the one where Extra gum is called "a snack" (in whose world?) and the one where Eva Mendes says she was "dared" (instead of, I don't know, paid a ton of money) to use Pantene shampoo.

But no commercial - NO. COMMERCIAL. EVER. - has bugged me to the insane, nails-on-a-chalkboard, seething-with-irritation degree as the one that keeps playing for HauteLook. It's apparently an online shopping site where you can get the latest fashions for your home and wardrobe (and your man, who according to the commercial, is unable to dress himself).

It mentions that you can procure said styles for fifty to seventy percent off! Oh reeeeally, HauteLook? That must be how the girl in your commercial does absolutely nothing but shop all day every day! She says it herself: her daily routine is gym, coffee, HauteLook. What a grueling schedule. It's a wonder she doesn't fall into bed exhausted every night from, you know, sitting in the peaceful silence of her clean, fashionably-appointed apartment doing all this online shopping (and then admiring her model-skinny self in the mirror while wearing her latest haul). The poor thing. Her life is so hard that her man probably doesn't even have a car service to take them to dinner - they have to drive their own and then valet. I'm just guessing. Oh, the humanity.

Keep on playing this ad, people, because real women like me can soooo identify. Am I right?! I mean, I go to the gym a lot too. But, oh yeah, that's because - in addition to my day job - I work there. You know, to make a little bit of money so that I can buy clothes and shoes. Oh, but not for myself: for my kids, because they're always tearing up and/or outgrowing their stuff, the little ingrates. But I can totally identify with the modeling in front of the mirror part - because every six months when I am able to buy my very own outfit from, like, the clearance racks at Target or Old Navy, I like to stand in front of the mirror myself (I mean, it's usually to frown disapprovingly at the way something doesn't quite fit my thighs or accentuates my muffin top, but whatever. I guess I don't drink enough coffee). My home isn't exactly as trendy as the one on the commercial - I was going to buy some new decor but my air conditioner broke and my cat needed antibiotics and we had to make yet another payment on the toddler's fractured wrist. But hey! I've only had the same wine/grape motif in my kitchen for a decade. And since HauteLook's stuff is so deeply discounted I might be able to afford their home goods one of these days. Or, okay, one of these years.

So thanks a bucket, HauteLook, for making an ad that I can relate to. Except for the not having to work part. And the doing nothing but shopping all day part. And the affording the latest styles complete with accessories at all times part. And the dressing your man part. And the spotless, stainless, childless environment part. And the skinny and blonde part.


I guess I'm more of a "Ship My Pants" type of girl.


  1. More of a ship my pants girl here, too. I don't care what the prices are, I can't shop every day(not even at Kmart). And my husband is the fashionista of our family. Some of these commercials are aiming at the wrong demographic.

    Hubs and I were laughing the other night at some car commercial(I can't remember what it was- some high end car) and at the end, it said that you could lease it for as low as $850/month. Um, what? Yeah, why even bother with that commercial?

  2. hahaha. I like HauteLook (actually get good deals sometimes), but the only time I peruse the site is at the end of the day, when baby is sleeping, and I'm about half dead just flipping through my iPad until I pass out.

    These Kmart commercials are everything. "I JUST SHIPPED MY DRAWERS." SO funny.

  3. If I shop at HauteLook will I become young, skinny, and fashion-forward? (Oh yes.....and have unlimited funds to shop every day while I drink my coffee?) Think I'll ship my pants instead.

  4. Once I paid $100 for a bra because I knew I would not have another chance to buy a new bra for at least a year. So now I wear it under fifty cents worth of clothes.

  5. I have never seen the 'Ship my pants' commercial! That's hilarious! Almost as good as the Grey Poupon commercial. And seriously, they need to hire people like us for their advertising. We could probably come up with some way more realistic commercials.

  6. I haaaaaate that commercial, too!!

  7. Jessica Armstrong LasaJune 25, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    OH MY GAWD! Thank you so much! I forgot about the Ship Your Pants commercial. I just laughed out loud! I love that commercial. The Hautelook girl seriously looks like she needs to get a life! *sigh Seriously, you are spot on again! Cat antibiotics, ungrateful kids, growing!

  8. And I love that they say "deeply discounted". Yeah, if you regularly buy Michael Kors and Tori Burch, sure, it's a good deal from the usual $750 price tag to $250. But if you are like me and regularly shop at the Walmart clearance rack and put back the $10 shirt for the $3 one, yeah, wrong audience!!!

  9. I'm a ship my pants girl too :-)

  10. Thank you! I loathe this commercial and you summed it up perfectly!


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