My Face is Twerking
You've heard of giving someone the stink eye, right? Well, I'm giving people the wink eye. Because for the past two weeks, my left lower eyelid has been incessantly twitching. From the time I wake up until the time I go to bed, it's doing it's jumpy little thang. For TWO. WHOLE. WEEKS. NONSTOP.
Maybe it's staging a revolution. If it could talk, maybe it would be passionately insisting, "There's more than one body part that can twerk, you know! I'm tired of being overlooked!"
(Overlooked ... get it? ... because it's a lower eyelid ... hahahaha ... ha ... ha .......... ahem.)
I don't know why the hell my eye has decided to go rogue and do something other than what it's supposed to be doing, which is absolutely nothing. All I know is, I'm tired of feeling self-conscious about it. Every time I go out somewhere I feel like I'm being judged and scrutinized.
"Mommy, why does that lady keep winking at me?"
"I don't know, dear. She's probably some sort of pedophile." *hurries child away*
Google doesn't even help because all I get is a vague diagnosis of being "tired or stressed." YA THINK? I have four sons ages nine and under, and, you know, a life and bills and work and a house to run. I'm always at least somewhat tired and stressed. Nothing short of a vacation is going to make me any less tired and stressed. But the rest of my body is holding up okay (knock on wood) so why is my eyelid suddenly crapping out on me like it works sooooo hard? It's like one of those celebrities who suffers from "exhaustion."
Because I love for the world to share in my pain (and laugh at my twitchy eye?) I'm including a video so you can see the twerky eyelid in action. I must have been standing in some bad lighting because I look really wrinkly.
... Yeah, that's it. Bad lighting.
So what say you, Internet gurus of eye expertise? Anybody else ever had this problem and if so, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO GET RID OF IT BECAUSE OMG.
Seriously. I'm about to start wearing an eye patch.