My Face is Twerking


You've heard of giving someone the stink eye, right? Well, I'm giving people the wink eye. Because for the past two weeks, my left lower eyelid has been incessantly twitching. From the time I wake up until the time I go to bed, it's doing it's jumpy little thang. For TWO. WHOLE. WEEKS. NONSTOP.

Maybe it's staging a revolution. If it could talk, maybe it would be passionately insisting, "There's more than one body part that can twerk, you know! I'm tired of being overlooked!"

(Overlooked ... get it? ...  because it's a lower eyelid ... hahahaha ... ha ... ha .......... ahem.)

Anyway.

I don't know why the hell my eye has decided to go rogue and do something other than what it's supposed to be doing, which is absolutely nothing. All I know is, I'm tired of feeling self-conscious about it. Every time I go out somewhere I feel like I'm being judged and scrutinized.

"Mommy, why does that lady keep winking at me?"

"I don't know, dear. She's probably some sort of pedophile." *hurries child away*

Google doesn't even help because all I get is a vague diagnosis of being "tired or stressed." YA THINK? I have four sons ages nine and under, and, you know, a life and bills and work and a house to run. I'm always at least somewhat tired and stressed. Nothing short of a vacation is going to make me any less tired and stressed. But the rest of my body is holding up okay (knock on wood) so why is my eyelid suddenly crapping out on me like it works sooooo hard? It's like one of those celebrities who suffers from "exhaustion."

Because I love for the world to share in my pain (and laugh at my twitchy eye?) I'm including a video so you can see the twerky eyelid in action. I must have been standing in some bad lighting because I look really wrinkly.

... Yeah, that's it. Bad lighting.

video

So what say you, Internet gurus of eye expertise? Anybody else ever had this problem and if so, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO GET RID OF IT BECAUSE OMG.

Seriously. I'm about to start wearing an eye patch.

Arrrrrrr!


Comments

  1. Sorry, I don't have any "motherly advice" about the twerking eye. I've had that, too, and had to just wait for it to go away. Surely there's a better solution! Maybe if you twerk your whole body everywhere you go, people will think it's just part of the act. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mine do that every once in a while, but never for more than a few hours. Two weeks!! I'd go insane.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG the exact same thing started happening to me last weekend, left eye, lower lid...what a weird internet coincidence :S

    ReplyDelete
  4. Funny post, but I think that can be caused by Vitamin A deficiency. Try taking some and see if it helps. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have the same thing, every now and then. Whenever it starts I take some magnesium, as it relaxes the muscles, it usually helps stop the twitching.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My left upper eyelid on the outside corner has been twitching for a week... weird

    ReplyDelete
  7. Too much caffeine does that to me! I've switched to herbal/caffeine-free the last week and a half and the twerking has calmed down significantly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok that's just weird! Something must be going around because my left lower lid's been doing it too. I shit you not!! But not continuously like yours, for me it's been on and off for about a week and a half. My husband thinks it's funny as heck and asks me if I'm feeling frisky again & trying to wink at him.....

    ReplyDelete
  9. My eye has been twitching for like two months. I feel your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  10. OMG My upper eyelid has been doing this for over a month! I tried looking it up too but find nothing helpful. Glad to see this is not just me, and I feel for ya ;)
    (that's an "Eye Twitch" emoticon not a wink.)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Commenting makes you big and strong! Okay, maybe just strong. Okay, so it's only your fingers. But still ...

Popular Posts