Stinky Stinky Balls

My sons have stinky stinky balls. Stinky stinky blue balls, if you want to get technical.

No, it's not what it sounds like - they do get bathed regularly, testicular areas included, and they're not old enough to have developed that, erm, special kind of odor anyway. When Colin and Cameron refer to their "stinky stinky balls," they're referring to the kind of rubber racquetballs that come in three-packs like this:

And these balls are indeed pretty foul. It's like somebody took all the disgusting burnt-rubber smell of a tire shop, made it super-concentrated, and stuffed the stench into a little plastic cannister. Gross. But the kids love them for some reason, even wanting to sleep with them like most kids would sleep with, say, a teddy bear.

What can I say? My kids are weird. They certainly don't get that from me, right?

... RIGHT?!?

*cricket, cricket*

Anyway, yesterday at the store Curtis gave them five bucks each and told them they could pick whatever they wanted. Colin immediately headed down the Crayola aisle, so while he and Curtis did that, I headed on down to the shampoo aisle so I could browse the selection in relative peace. As I was weighing my options, I heard Colin in all his four-year-old loudness chanting - from practically across the store - "STINKY STINKY BALLS! STINKY STINKY BALLS! STINKY STINKY BALLS!" And customarily, his little brother was echoing him like a mockingbird.

Yeah. He'd decided that he was going to use his five dollars on a new package of racquetballs. But did the rest of the shoppers know that? Of course not. So I'm sure everybody thought that he and Cameron were these horribly rude kids shrieking about their malodorous sacks.

... Especially anyone who also happened to overhear Colin announce that the rubber plungers "smell like penis."


  1. Oh my gosh that is too funny and embarrassing! I read your post to my husband and he was laughing hysterically. I told him "Just wait until we have a boy..." Hope your sons enjoyed their new stinky balls!! Love it!! Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!

  2. Thanks for stopping by, Mandi! Yeah, boys can be embarrassing, for sure ... but at least they keep me on my toes. :)

  3. Well, I can relate. When Dallas was little (under 5), he had a real problem pronoucing is "tr" sounds - it would always come out as an "f" sound. About this same time, he had a fue, uh, true passion for trucks. Trust me, any trip to Walmart or, god forbid, Toys-R-Us was a practice in control and not getting embarassed as my son screamed down each isle "I wanna *uck, I wanna *uck....." ugh! He usually got one, and fast, a truck that is!

  4. snort out loud moment! Did he mean a CLEAN penis, or a cheesy one?

  5. As always, an absolutely hilarious post.
    I happen to be the odd one who loves the smell of Racquetballs, Tennis balls, and new mouse pads (trust me - it's the same smell). To each their own though!

  6. Hahaha- I'm rolling over here! Hilarious!

  7. LOL Since Colin said it the first time, it has become such a family joke that we all use that phrase from time to time! One time Curtis and the boys pulled up at our house and I ran out to meet them, shouting to Colin,"Did you bring your stinky, stinky balls?" Then I noticed a couple of people fishing off our dock.....and looking at me very strangely! Oh well, so much for being cultured!

  8. Rachel, Grammie, Sarah, Julie - Thanks! Glad you guys got a chuckle (or in your case Grammie, a "LOL!"). :)

    Tracy - How embarrassing! One of my nieces was the same way. "Dump truck" became dumb ... well, you know.

    Shell - Don't I know it! Things like this are going on all the time!

    Pixielation - Eww, I'm not sure. But I didn't ask him to clarify further, because he would have ... loudly and for the world to hear.

    Jenna - Don't worry then. There are plenty of stinky balls to sniff when you come to my house next week. Haw! Haw! Haw! (PS - You're a weirdo.)

    Mom - Didn't he leave a "stinky stinky ball" at your house so he'd have it when he spends the night? Every household needs one, you know.

  9. *giggle* At least you were on the other side of the store, right?!

    For the record, I'm a bit concerned about the penis comment. . .

  10. This is undoubtly one of the funniest things I have read on the internet since I began some 15 years ago. I have been a mom to five girls and two boys, and this is funnier than ANYTHING they have done. I am so sorry for your embarrasment but THANK YOU SO MUCH for making me laugh so hard I cried three times.

  11. Oh good grief...I feel as though the babe is going to grow up and say things like this while out in public with me, sigh!


  12. HA! that was funny!

    i hopped over here from trav's blog because i wanted to check out your diet...i had no idea you were going to be that funny. i'm a follower now!

  13. Does he still have his "purse" I gave him for the stinky balls or did you take that over? LOL It's never a dull moment with you all! ;-)

  14. Me - LOL! Don't worry, no need to be concerned. If there's one thing that little boys love to talk about/flash/play around with, it's their penises. It's just what they do. I think I'd be concerned if he DIDN'T. :)

    Lisa - I think my kids are working on making careers out of embarrassing me! They do it on the regular! :)

    WM - Yes. Yes she will. Count on it!

    Noelle - Haha! Thanks! :) E-mail me if you'd like some more info. Although honestly, it's pretty simple ... not much more to it than what I posted in the comment over at Travis's.

    Denni - I took it over, of course. :) Come on, it's a cute bag!

  15. OMG! I just started laughing so hard that my two year old stopped playing and started laughing too! Thanks for the laugh from both of us!

    Happy SITS Day!

    Cheers :-)
    - CoconutPalmDesigns


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