The Frump is Grumpy

There are things I like waking up to: beautiful sunshine illuminating my room, sweet kisses from my boys, a cuddle from my husband, the smell of breakfast cooking (which means I don't have to do it which is ALWAYS a plus).

And then there are things I don't like waking up to. Among those things: a torn-up bathroom. But this, my friends, is what I stumbled upon first thing this morning:


Yeah. That's my floor ... which was already torn up, but not quite that bad. And my wall, which until sometime in the wee hours of the morning, was actually intact. The damage to both is the result of the same furry asshole culprit ...

... our seven-month-old chocolate Lab, Josie. (Otherwise known as, "Dammit, Josie!!")

Yeah, she's cute, but I swear - the bowels of hell couldn't release a more destructive force. Not even my three boys, all of them together, could compete. Sadly, the damage to the bathroom is just the tip of the iceberg. I could post pictures of the four-inch HOLE she chewed in my living room carpet yesterday. Or the gnaw marks in the living room wall. Or the two hairbrushes she's demolished this week. Or the countless toys and books she has destroyed. The two iPhone chargers she's eaten. The TV cable. Need I go on?

For six weeks I took her to obedience training. When I asked the trainer about her destructive habits, she insinuated it was my fault. "It's a matter of unpreparedness," she chirped. "Leaving things around is fair game." But that's not very practical; I have three kids, and as much as I'd love to have a neat and tidy house at all times, there's always stuff on the floor. Period. And what about the carpet and the wall? Do I need to somehow put those away, too? Ugh.

Josie was in the bathroom because that's where she sleeps. And why does she sleep in the bathroom? Because if we leave her out overnight, she pees and poops in the house. But I don't know why I bother, because I "miraculously" find pee and poop on the laundry room floor nearly every morning. Curtis gets her out of the bathroom when he wakes up for work and takes her immediately out, then brings her immediately back to the bathroom - or at least he says he does - yet when I get out of bed and go downstairs to feed and water the pets, there it is. Sometimes a puddle, sometimes a pile, sometimes both ... but always a mess, and always a hassle. As if I didn't have ten thousand other nasty things to deal with on a daily basis.

It's not a matter of unused energy. She plays with the boys all day long. We go for walks. She has tons of her own toys. At this point, I'm at my wits' end ... I have no idea why she's so naughty.

I would never get rid of Josie. Once she grows up and matures a little bit, she's going to be a good dog. And I didn't go into this thinking it would be easy: that's how so many dogs end up in shelters (which makes me so sad). But damn, dog. Give me a break already. 
   



Comments

  1. I have so been there - and it is horrible! You live for the day they start to chill out just a bit!

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  2. I'm sorry Josie is being so destructive. My 6 month old puppy has a huge cow thigh, a couple of antlers (one from a moose and one from a deer) and a bunch of Nylabones that seem to satisfy his need to chew. Also, check out Bully Sticks. They're awesome! Have you tried taking her to dog parks as well? Or, instead of a walk amp it up to a run or have her next to bike? Sometimes walks just aren't enough for our pup and he just needs to run for a looong time. Hope that helps! Good luck riding out the storm of puppyhood!

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  3. Have you tried a kennel/crate? They are really good for training. However, it may be hard to start at 7 months. But dogs generally won't "mess" in them and it would keep your walls intact at night. The Kong chew toys are good - my dog has jaws of steel and demolishes every toy we give him, except for the Kong (I think that's what it's called!) Good luck! Josie is freakin' adorable! My brother and sister both have labs, they are really smart dogs....ummm, maybe when they're older :)

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  4. I have a seven month old puppy as well. He's not quite as destructive, but I don't give him free reign in the house, either. He's kenneled at night and whenever we're not able to keep an eye out for him.

    Good luck - as you said, Josie will mature into an awesome dog. She sure is a beautiful thing!!

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  5. One of the things we loved about our house when we bought it was all the original woodwork. Our dog has her way with it, though, and it won't be a selling feature when we try to sell. Unless the buyers really like that chewed up look. We tried everything...more exercise, new toys, bitter apple spray. Nothing worked. We're hoping when she turns three she will miraculously calm down like the other dog did. We'll see.

    Good luck.

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  6. We used to have the same problem, except our dog wasn't a puppy! When she was just my dog, I had no idea how to train her. But I'd read Ceaser Milan's book and it started to make a difference! I suggest reading it. Also...try getting Josie a crate. We put the dogs in there over night so the "mess" is contained. Then we crate trained 'em. They go from the crate DIRECTLY outside. Do not stop. Do not make detours. Don't even think about it-OUTSIDE. All before they eat. Then they come inside for food. And go RIGHT BACK OUTSIDE. They aren't allowed back in until they go potty. Our dogs learned quickly. Except for the random explosion, due to butt issues, we haven't had a anymore problems. Hope that helps. In regards to the chewing...reinforcing that it's not ok helped us. When they did something bad, I'd tell them no and send 'em to the crate. Now when I just give them a look or say their names in a forceful way, they stop whatever they're doing and run to the crate. lol

    I don't miss the puppy stage, but I definitely feel for you!

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  7. Uhh so an outdoor kennel seems like it would same you some messes, and a bark collar.

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  8. Our dog is just now one years old and just now aloud out of the kitchen. I watched every dog dvd I could get my hands on from the library and really your right cause is all about the age. Time to buck up and put that pup in a dog crate. After ours chewed our bathroom woodwork to bits and ate all the TP he was moved from the bathroom to a big ol crate that takes up a huge part of my kitchen....but he likes to sleep there. Now that he is calm...I am so proud of what a good dog he is. Try not to kill her your almost home free. :)

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  9. If you put cayenne pepper on the wall it will stop it. However, you wind up with a red wall.

    Plus side of that is that you can then beat your dog and children and the blood won't show on the walls.

    I'm always thinking ahead.

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  10. Wow - you must have wanted to remodel your bathroom, right? Right???? NOW I know why Alpha Hubby says "no animals in the house" - my heart goes out to you until you get passed this stage - sounds like peeps above gave good advice - wonder if any of it will work for Wonder Josie?

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  11. Dammit, Josie! i hope josie straightens out his act and SOON!!!

    sometimes my cat leo drives me up the wall. i can't tell you how many times i have screamed FUCK YOU, LEO. i know that is horrible, but maybe you understand.

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  12. Grrr...sorry to hear she's being such a butt head! Chanelle was a little destructive at 1st, but she was a year old and I think she thought she would just stay here for a brief time like she did her other homes. She stopped the destructive behavior within a couple month, but still rips through her toys like she has some vendetta with them. However, I got her this one: http://www.chelsystoys.com/home.php and it's been intact & played with daily for a year now. I know Josie has toys, but maybe she needs something that can take what she dishes out. If not, we're all crossing our fingers for you that she grows out of this phase before you grow insane!

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  13. We had a black lab that was the exact same way. She tore stuff up for the three years we had her until we finally gave her to a family with a farm and several kids (this was before we had kids). We were moving and we just couldn't handle it anymore.

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  14. What are the odds? Our dog's first name is Damnit, too. Small world.

    Kennel for then night? I'm sure you've thought of that and there's a reason, but I'm just throwing it out there. Dogs can be demons, but I love them.

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  15. We have a nine-month-old golden retriever. His name is George. We call him "idiot." My seven-year-old is training her parakeet to say "stupid dog." If he was a superhero he'd be called "Destructo-Boy." I can sooooo relate. You have my sympathies...big time.

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  16. I know how destructive three boys can be so, if one dog can do more, I really feel for you!

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  17. This sounds EXACTLY like my beloved dog Amy may she rest in peace! Everybody hated her and I was totally misunderstood, I loved that dog more than anything BUT HOLES IN THE CARPET.....I totally wanted to kill her. and she was two years old. so I am sorry to say I don't think it is going to get easier for a LOOONG time. I wish I had a solution for you but stand your ground and don't let anyone tell you to get rid of her!

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  18. Oh boy, I can't wait to deal with the "Josie issues" when I come to keep the boys next week! Still, ya gotta love the family dog! She's really sweet.....when she isn't chewing stuff up. ;o)

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  19. I've always heard (and have experienced myself) that labradors are notorious for this behavior.

    I should take pictures sometime of, at the time, the new baseboard/expensive oak doors in my parent's house that our 7 month old Labrador puppy destroyed.

    I promise it gets better though ... or at least it did for us.

    Have you guys considered getting an underground electric fence? Once you get her trained to it (which isn't a difficult process .. but requires dedication), you can pop her outside and not have to worry about her getting out of the yard.

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  20. I used to put my dog Frank in the bathroom and night when he was a baby and he torn the place down. I had it stripped down to nothing and he started in on the walls. Finally I just gave up and I let him stay out. I went to bed and he layed down on the rug and went to sleep. In retrospect, I think that being alone in there was freaking him out. Try letting her sleep unconfined...what have you got to lose?

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