V.D.: More Than Just Venereal Disease

Valentine's Day makes me kinda sick, y'all. I realize I'm lucky to have someone to spend it with and all that, but I grow a little (okay, a lot) weary of the endless bragging that goes on. You know what I mean. Those people who are all, "My wonderful husband surprised me with diamond earrings and ten pounds of imported Swiss chocolate and a getaway to Cabo. Too bad we can't take my new car that I found parked in the driveway this morning with a giant ribbon around it and a dozen roses in the front seat. Gosh, I'm married to my best friend!"

If I stayed off Facebook for a few hours days I could avoid all that, but I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't happen to be married to one of those romantic types. Curtis did write me a poem once (in 2008, which for the record was THREE FREAKING YEARS AGO), but it compared my hair to poop so ... yeah. Not sure it exactly fits into the "romance" category. We are going out to a nice dinner tonight, but only because we have a gift certificate.

Still, I know my husband loves me. How? Because he shows me. He doesn't need grand gestures or special holidays to let me know how much he values our relationship. Allow me to give you a few examples:

- If he farts while we're in the car and I'm like, "OMG, seriously, you've got to stop that or I'm going to throw up and I mean it," he holds it in until we get home.

- He reads my blog faithfully, every day, and gripes at me incessantly if I haven't updated it.

- He puts the toilet seat down (even if he doesn't replenish the T.P.).

- He doesn't say anything when I don't shave for like a month a week.

- He has seen pretty much everything come out of pretty much every orifice in my body (use your imagination) and still wants to kiss me.

I don't need him to hire a skywriter, or broadcast it on the radio, or spend half his salary on something from the jewelry store ... as long as he keeps loving me like this:

Although, Honey? Some chocolate never hurts. Just sayin'.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

P.S. - I'm totally stoked and honored to be featured on Dumb Mom's BList (V-Day Edition) over at parenting BY dummies today! Go check it out!


  1. "If comparing your hair to poop is wrong...well then I don't want to ever be right."

    That line is for you, Curt. Use it in the next poem!

  2. That was sweet! Happy VD, darling!

  3. What a great post! So very real - and that's the stuff to brag about!

  4. I get this. I really do from the puking over repulsively gooey facebook status updates to the part about things coming out of every orifice. Those are the best kinds of guys and we're lucky, lucky girls.

  5. That is a wicked picture! Love it. Make it into a T-Shirt and make him wear it...unless he buys you chocolates. hahah Just teasing...but not really.

    I got diddly squat from mine but I gave valentines out to everyone in the office and brought in chocolates/candies for everyone. I got hugs n' kisses so I'm a happy gal.

  6. I just wrote nearly the same thing, although this year I did get a waffle maker! Better than flowers or candy any day!

  7. Sometimes we are lucky NOT having all that "perfect" relationship crap. Cuz you know that he loves you and you love him and that's all that really matters. The person who's guy has to give the world and then some... I dunno. Seems like, fake happy, right?

  8. I've never been with anyone on Valentine's Day and the only thing I have gotten in the last - let's say 20 years - was some chocolates from Baba (our dad for those of you who don't know). This was a few years ago, but oh wait for it... the really sad thing was what I found out a few days later... yes, it gets worse. He had happened to get those chocolates by mistake and was going to throw them away but then remembered I most likely wouldn't get anything on V-Day so he gave them to me. Yes, you can laugh at that as I loose another chunk of my soul.

  9. Great post. I so agree. . . and I have been married almost 32 years to a similar creature. We love each other anyway!

  10. You got a good man there, a funny one. Just like me. :)

  11. At least you can say your husband once wrote you a poem (which will become a classic, I'm sure). I think you guys have a great relationship that's real and not pretentious. You're lucky to have each other - on Valentine's Day and all the days in between!

  12. If he does all those things for you 24/7 365 then there's no reason to need all the other crap right!?! Right! Let's keep telling ourselves that anyway!

  13. Aiden and I have the same relationship...and I wouldn't change it for all of the diamonds in the world. We've celebrated Valentine's Day a total of 2 times in the 14 years we've been together. 1) when we first started dating (because we were puky over each other) 2) 3 years after we got married because we discovered on Valentine's Day that I was pregnant so we celebrated that it was his...Just joking! It was the best day of our life together! Of course we celebrated! : )


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