Dear Husband: a Toilet-torial

This is an open letter to my dear, dear husband regarding an issue that's - well - rather sensitive. Ladies, most of you can probably relate (and if you can't, I'm jealous!).

Dear Curtis,

I'm aware that you've been blessed with a more convenient anatomy that doesn't have to be wiped after every pee. But some of us aren't so lucky. Some of us (i.e., me) require toilet paper each and every time we go to the bathroom. Which is why I'm writing you this letter.

Sweetheart, when you use the last of the toilet paper, the roll doesn't magically replenish itself (shocking, I know). It just sits there empty until the next person - again, me - sees it and replaces it with a new roll. But sometimes I don't notice the empty until it's too late, which is a terrible and irritating inconvenience.

I realize it's just an oversight. Or perhaps you're confused since the dog chewed up the holder.


In any case, THIS is what we're trying to avoid:


For future reference, my dear, the ideal bathroom setup should appear as follows:


Achieving said bathroom perfection is easy; the magazines are already in place. All you have to do is ensure a fresh supply of toilet paper. To further clarify, I've drawn you this helpful diagram:


See? Simple.
Just a few easy steps, and you're guaranteed less of this ...


 ... and more of this:


Hope this helps. Anything to make your life easier. :)


Love,

Comments

  1. Were you sitting on the toilet when you took that photo? No wait, I don't want to know!

    My husband needs the same tutorial. And once - just ONCE - I'd like him to hang the bathmat back up after he's had a shower. Doesn't it occur to him that there really are no magic fairies who hang it ready for him each morning?

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  2. I really think that guys can't grasp that we have to use tp EVERY time. My husband will pull out a new roll (usually) but he leaves it on the back of the toilet. So close.

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  3. Ok...I can't relate, cause mine actually replaces it. But...I'm not sure how it came about that men shouldn't have to wipe afterwards. There's always a small amount of the aftermath left over, sure not near the extent of why we have to wipe, but none-the-less...it's still there!

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  4. Every single husband needs to read this!

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  5. This post is hysterical! I can definitely relate!

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  6. My husband AND kids need to read this. How hard is it to grab a roll and put it in the bathroom? It doesn't even have to be in the right place, if they would just put it in the general vacinity where I could easily REACH it when needed!! And my kids love to call (read, scream) me when they are in the upstairs bathroom and out of paper...

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  7. lol My husband does the same!!! I might need to copy and paste and print!

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  8. I'm showing this to my boyfriend. We had this conversation last night as well. He actually complained that I use too much toilet paper and said that when he lived alone he didn't go through it nearly as fast. I pointed out my need to wipe every time I pee...and I pee a lot...and asked him if he'd rather I stopped wiping altogether to save him the time it took to replace a roll. I'm hoping he got the point. Good luck.

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  9. lol, you're so cute! I'm lucky that my husband replaces those rolls. He also replaces paper towels too! Haha.

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  10. No one in my entire family seems to be able to grasp this concept. Not the husband or the 3 girls and yes, we use up a lot of toilet paper in this house. I don't understand. Did he pass on a defective gene to his kids?

    Great, great post.

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  11. HAHAHA...so funny! I can totally relate. I'm ALWAYS the one replacing the roll! And now I have 4 boys in the house...OY!

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  12. Ha ha ha. Love it. Can I borrow it? :-)))))))

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  13. I have to admit, I am guilty of not replacing the roll. But I get hella mad if he forgets! I think I need to forward your tutorial to him!

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  14. Yep, I'm totally copying and pasting this and placing it on our bathroom wall. Thanks! (Also, you are HILARIOUS!!)

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  15. yup, we have the same problem here too

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  16. I've given up on that and just put the whole darn package of TP next to the toilet. Not sure how your kiddos would handle that though.

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  17. In defense of your husband, okay I don't really have a defense. We men are lazy... that's our defense.

    Does he read your blog?

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  18. LOL!! YOu will have to update us as to whether this tutorial works!

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