Sound Advice from a Six-Year-Old

Colin has a rather ... unique nickname for his baby brother.

He calls him "Poon." It began at dinner one night, derived from the way Coby says "spoon." And it has (unfortunately) stuck. A poon, says Colin, is a type of animal.

Now technically, the definition of poon is "Any large Indo-Malayan evergreen tree of the genus Calophyllum." But if you are at all familiar with slang? You'll know that the street definition of poon is ... *whispers* vagina.

I know.

But of course, I don't particularly wanna explain this to Colin. I mean, I'd like to not be the mom who teaches her six-year-old the various (and possibly derogatory) slang terms for a woman's hoo-ha. You know? I mean, I already inadvertantly taught him some slang for the male anatomy (Mother of the Year right here, y'all!). So for now, at least, I've said nothing. 

The other day, the boys were playing and Colin was "hunting for poon." Curtis and I were trying not to crack up, naturally, as we would've had to explain why we were laughing - but it was flippin' hilarious. He stalked through the house, talking about how poon is so hard to find (snicker snicker), all the while completely oblivious to what "poon" actually refers to. But that was nothing compared to what he said when he caught Coby.

"Oh no!" Colin shrieked. "This is an infected poon!"

And then: "Stay away from the infected poon, or you'll be infected too!"

Curtis and I didn't even try hide our laughter at that point.

"Stay away from infected poon," repeated Curtis. "Remember that, son. It's probably the best advice you'll ever give yourself."

Yep. He's wise beyond his years. Let's just hope he keeps that tidbit in mind when he learns the alternate meaning of poon.


  1. Omg! Thanks for starting my day off laughing.

  2. LOL! We had a similar incident with a stuffed animal dog named "snatch". Complete with "let's pass "snatch" back and forth until we get tired". Sheesh!
    Have a wonderful day!

  3. My daughter named her cat Cookie. Cookie! Imagine the laughing when she told us that she loves her Cookie, she loves to pet her Cookie, we cannot ever have her Cookie because she doesn't want to share. The looks we get from company when they ask her name is hilarious.

  4. yesterday after watching a show where a girl named Rocky asked to be called the Rock, Izzy suggested that I call her "jiz." Um, Nope. Fortunately I got her to switch it to Biz pretty quickly.

  5. Never a dull moment with your boys!

  6. That's hilarious! I didn't even remember that poon meant that. So funny though!

  7. LOL, that's good advice! I hope the boys go back and read your blog when they get older so they can enjoy their childhood from a different perspective!

  8. So, SO awesome! I mean it'll suck when he's like 15, but it will be awesome if you guys bring it up at family reunions and stuff. Like I have a cousin we all call Brenda Butt. I mean we USED to call her that. Now I try not to do it to her face, but, you know, it slips out sometimes!

  9. That is hilarious... and when he reads this eons later, he too, will laugh.

  10. AAAaaaaaaaaccckkk! I am literally dying over here. I thank you for making me having a big fat smile on my face, rather than the irritated, grumpy face that was there earlier. I love your brainiac child and all his antics. This is priceless. Even better, the commentor whose child wanted to be called Jiz! HA! Thanks Rita....i heart you.

  11. I had no idea that poon was another word for vagina. I learn something new every day ;)

  12. I am fairly sure I had an infected poon once. It was '97 and I had been spending a lot of time barefoot in locker rooms.


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