Sound Advice from a Six-Year-Old
Colin has a rather ... unique nickname for his baby brother.
He calls him "Poon." It began at dinner one night, derived from the way Coby says "spoon." And it has (unfortunately) stuck. A poon, says Colin, is a type of animal.
Now technically, the definition of poon is "Any large Indo-Malayan evergreen tree of the genus Calophyllum." But if you are at all familiar with slang? You'll know that the street definition of poon is ... *whispers* vagina.
But of course, I don't particularly wanna explain this to Colin. I mean, I'd like to not be the mom who teaches her six-year-old the various (and possibly derogatory) slang terms for a woman's hoo-ha. You know? I mean, I already inadvertantly taught him some slang for the male anatomy (Mother of the Year right here, y'all!). So for now, at least, I've said nothing.
The other day, the boys were playing and Colin was "hunting for poon." Curtis and I were trying not to crack up, naturally, as we would've had to explain why we were laughing - but it was flippin' hilarious. He stalked through the house, talking about how poon is so hard to find (snicker snicker), all the while completely oblivious to what "poon" actually refers to. But that was nothing compared to what he said when he caught Coby.
"Oh no!" Colin shrieked. "This is an infected poon!"
And then: "Stay away from the infected poon, or you'll be infected too!"
Curtis and I didn't even try hide our laughter at that point.
"Stay away from infected poon," repeated Curtis. "Remember that, son. It's probably the best advice you'll ever give yourself."
Yep. He's wise beyond his years. Let's just hope he keeps that tidbit in mind when he learns the alternate meaning of poon.