Labor and Duh-livery

Baby Corbin is full-term, so theoretically I could drop him at any time. And I'm huge enough to be a circus spectacle. The other day, while I was walking across the parking lot of my doctor's office, a lady slowed down in her car and was all, "Whoa, ma'am, are you in labor?" Over the weekend, when we took the kids to the playground, I passed by a woman who gawked visibly and said, "WOW!" And that's not all. During trips to Kohl's and Walmart, in addition to the usual gasps and exclamations, I heard, "That looks like it hurts," and "Is there only one in there?" and "You've got to be overdue," and, "Oh, bless your heart!" I'm soooo over being a walking freakshow, y'all. 

That being said, I wouldn't really mind if Corbin decided to make his appearance. And last night, I thought maaaaaaybe I was going into labor.

Problem is, I'm not sure what "going into labor" actually feels like.

Yes, I'm aware that this is my fourth child. I've been in labor before, multiple times. But I've always been induced. With my oldest, Colin, the induction was because I had developed pre-eclampsia (for which delivery is the only cure). With Cameron and Coby, I actually asked to be induced because, well, it was so much more convenient. I mean, with an induction, I know when I'm supposed to be at the hospital and I just show up at an appointed time: showered and shaven, completely packed, with childcare secured at home and my house left in decent order. It's actually pretty nice for a control freak  person like me who likes to have her ducks in a row.

And plus? I have huge babies. At three weeks early, Colin was 8 lbs. 9 oz. At two weeks early, Cameron was 8 lbs. 14 oz. ... and at one week early, Coby weighed a whopping 9 lbs. 2 oz. So honestly? The less poundage I have to force through my you-know-what, the better.

But the issue with inductions is that - like I said - I'm afraid I wouldn't know "natural" (i.e., un-induced) labor if it kicked me in the cervix. In the movies it's so sudden and sure: the broad is shopping or walking down the street and then suddenly she's gripping her abdomen and is like, "Ouch! I'm in labor!" I'm pretty sure that in real life, it's not that cut-and-dried. Consequently, I'm petrified that I'll go into labor on my own, wait too long, and then give birth in the car or something. Because that's another thing - my labors have been shorter with each child: 10, 7, and 5 hours, respectively. I'm scared that I'll be the woman you see on TV who stays at home too long and then tries to get to the hospital with an infant in her pants.

Anyway, last night I just felt ... weird. I was mildly nauseated. I was shivering periodically for no apparent reason. The baby was moving around a LOT, which is a little unusual lately since he's gotten so cramped in there. I kept having those misleading Braxton-Hicks contractions, coming every three to five minutes for quite a while. And I just had a general feeling of unease. I laid in the bed, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep, but the weirdness in my body just kept waking me up. I kept thinking, my bag is not packed. My mom is not here to watch the kids as planned. I haven't shaved in a week. I didn't finish cleaning.


I did my best to shrug it off, because the last thing I needed was to wake the neighbors so I could make a trip to the hospital, only to have it be nothing. So I finally ended up going to sleep. But I woke up like every hour. Once, I was so hot that I stripped off all my clothes and waddled marched naked into the hall to change the thermostat to 68 degrees. Air conditioning in May? Hell yes.

This morning I feel a little more normal. Still having a few mild contractions here and there, but nothing alarming. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed - because as largely unprepared as I feel, it was kind of exciting to have that "this is it" feeling. But I guess it's still possible.

Maybe I should pack that bag ...




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7 comments:

  1. Yes, pack your bag today. I had my baby 2 months ago. The week leading up to his birth I kept having "misleading B-H contractions". Then I went to my weekly appt and was told, "Go to the hospital right now to have your baby." Nothing, I had the clothes I was wearing and that's it. I had to send my poor husband home to try and find everything I needed in my disorganized house.....pack your bag.

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  2. Pack your bag, your body is giving a warning that this is going to happen soon! Try to be ready, it makes your "control issues" feel a little more at ease.

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  3. get ready. I was induced with my first 2 so I feel your pain. hahaha, get it. shutting up. I woke up sitting straight up in bed with a contraction and starting timing them, every 10 minutes. It wasn't until I wiped blood when I went to the bathroom that I called my mom, who told me to get to the hospital. Seems I was dialated to a 5, having contractions every 2 minutes and could only really feel them every 10. So yeah, go, even if you think you are being silly. PS. my last baby weighed 10 lb 4 oz. And he was born on his exact due date.

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  4. Get that bag packed! I've got mine all ready to go, too, so call me as soon as you think you need to! (Meanwhile, I feel much better knowing that you have great neighbors who can take care of the boys until I get there!) I have a feeling you might actually go into labor by yourself this time. So exciting!

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  5. I am always totally paranoid about not knowing exactly when I'm going into labor, and after my first was 6 hours and my second was only 3, I was completely freaked out that my third was going to be like an hour and I would totally have the baby in the car on the side of the road. In the middle of Colorado. In January.

    But my experience has been that I have tons of instances of "is this it? Am I going in to labor" that really end up going nowhere, and then all of a sudden I'll just know. With Sophie I had regular contractions that would last for hours, and I'd be timing them and all ready to call the doctor and they would just stop. This went on for a month, which was fun. But from the very first contraction when I went in to real labor I completely knew it. it's just different somehow.

    ps: I'm totally jealous you got induced all those times - that really appeals to my sense of control and order as well, but I always end up with non-cooperative doctors, lol

    can't wait to see both of our babies!! I hope we are both done soon!!

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  6. I scheduled my induction at my first appointment (I was full term for all the judgey ones out there). In my defense, my husband is a pilot, and my mother lives out of state (and I was not doing that ALONE). I am also Someone Who Enjoys An Excessive Amount Of Control, so that worked for me as well... also, I was so scared that I would spend my entire last trimester thinking I was going into labor and recruiting friends, neighbors, the check out guy at the grocery to drive me to the hospital if my husband was on a trip! But, it worked out perfectly- at least the induction did... the next six weeks were, um, difficult... Good luck! And Congrats on your carpets. I would rather have that than diamond too. You can fake diamonds, but not dirty carpet!!

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  7. Stay hydrated - it definitely helps with the Braxton Hicks. I was induced with my first and I went into labor with my second. I'm 37 weeks along with my third and I have a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks. My Braxton Hicks are stronger than with the first two and by the end of each day they start rolling in at 5 minute intervals. I can tell it isn't labor, but it's pretty unsettling. But once I drink a glass of water I notice they start to subside in both intensity and frequency (but mostly just frequency). And I make sure to drink some water each time I get up to go pee at night. Although, I bet I need to pee so much because I drink so much. I wish you all the best!

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