Labor and Duh-livery
Baby Corbin is full-term, so theoretically I could drop him at any time. And I'm huge enough to be a circus spectacle. The other day, while I was walking across the parking lot of my doctor's office, a lady slowed down in her car and was all, "Whoa, ma'am, are you in labor?" Over the weekend, when we took the kids to the playground, I passed by a woman who gawked visibly and said, "WOW!" And that's not all. During trips to Kohl's and Walmart, in addition to the usual gasps and exclamations, I heard, "That looks like it hurts," and "Is there only one in there?" and "You've got to be overdue," and, "Oh, bless your heart!" I'm soooo over being a walking freakshow, y'all.
That being said, I wouldn't really mind if Corbin decided to make his appearance. And last night, I thought maaaaaaybe I was going into labor.
Problem is, I'm not sure what "going into labor" actually feels like.
Yes, I'm aware that this is my fourth child. I've been in labor before, multiple times. But I've always been induced. With my oldest, Colin, the induction was because I had developed pre-eclampsia (for which delivery is the only cure). With Cameron and Coby, I actually asked to be induced because, well, it was so much more convenient. I mean, with an induction, I know when I'm supposed to be at the hospital and I just show up at an appointed time: showered and shaven, completely packed, with childcare secured at home and my house left in decent order. It's actually pretty nice for a
And plus? I have huge babies. At three weeks early, Colin was 8 lbs. 9 oz. At two weeks early, Cameron was 8 lbs. 14 oz. ... and at one week early, Coby weighed a whopping 9 lbs. 2 oz. So honestly? The less poundage I have to force through my you-know-what, the better.
But the issue with inductions is that - like I said - I'm afraid I wouldn't know "natural" (i.e., un-induced) labor if it kicked me in the cervix. In the movies it's so sudden and sure: the broad is shopping or walking down the street and then suddenly she's gripping her abdomen and is like, "Ouch! I'm in labor!" I'm pretty sure that in real life, it's not that cut-and-dried. Consequently, I'm petrified that I'll go into labor on my own, wait too long, and then give birth in the car or something. Because that's another thing - my labors have been shorter with each child: 10, 7, and 5 hours, respectively. I'm scared that I'll be the woman you see on TV who stays at home too long and then tries to get to the hospital with an infant in her pants.
Anyway, last night I just felt ... weird. I was mildly nauseated. I was shivering periodically for no apparent reason. The baby was moving around a LOT, which is a little unusual lately since he's gotten so cramped in there. I kept having those misleading Braxton-Hicks contractions, coming every three to five minutes for quite a while. And I just had a general feeling of unease. I laid in the bed, trying to get comfortable enough to sleep, but the weirdness in my body just kept waking me up. I kept thinking, my bag is not packed. My mom is not here to watch the kids as planned. I haven't shaved in a week. I didn't finish cleaning.
I did my best to shrug it off, because the last thing I needed was to wake the neighbors so I could make a trip to the hospital, only to have it be nothing. So I finally ended up going to sleep. But I woke up like every hour. Once, I was so hot that I stripped off all my clothes and
This morning I feel a little more normal. Still having a few mild contractions here and there, but nothing alarming. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed - because as largely unprepared as I feel, it was kind of exciting to have that "this is it" feeling. But I guess it's still possible.
Maybe I should pack that bag ...
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