Last week was the first week of school, and I managed - every single day - to get four children AND myself fed and dressed and completely ready before dropping the boys off. I was feeling pretty
But then there was yesterday.
The kids kept sleeping and sleeping, which they rarely do. And you know how painful it is to wake a sleeping child, right? Even when I know it's going to make me late, I almost can't bring myself to go and purposely wake them from the peaceful slumber I spend a huge portion of time trying to induce. I mean, hello ... quiet time! How difficult it is to willingly forfeit the quiet!
So we got a little bit of a late start yesterday. And by the time we needed to head out the door, everyone was ready ... except me. No makeup. Unbrushed hair. I did throw a bra on under my pajamas, but that was the extent of it.
"Oh well," I thought. "It'll just be a quick trip anyway. Dropping the kids off. There and back. Boom."
We drove to the school and I waited my turn in the dropoff line. And my internal monologue for the next couple of minutes went something like this:
I wish these kids would stop bickering. WHY are they BICKERING? Oh great. Now the baby is crying. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up ...
Oh good, the van in front of me is getting ready to move. Now I can pull up and drop two of them off and the bickering will cease, thank the LORD.
Oh, the van's going to back up first.
He's ... still backing up.
He's ... OMG, he's still backing up! Does he even see me behind him? Lay on the horn! Lay on the horn!
Oh. Mah. Gah. He seriously just hit my van. And now I have to get out. In front of everybody. And talk to someone. IN MY EFFING PAJAMAS.
Is it sad that I thought about being in my PJs before worrying about possible vehicle damage? Because that's totally how it went down in my head.
It was an old dude and he was all, "I'm sorry, I was up half the night!" and I felt sorry for him. And so we didn't even exchange insurance information. Part of that was because the only damage was a broken license plate frame, but I'm not gonna lie, the other part was that I just wanted to get back in the car and spare my pajama-ed self any more public humiliation.
If you've been reading me for a while, you know that this scenario has been one of my worst fears. And wouldn't you know! It could have been worse, though. At least the police weren't involved.
Because the only thing worse than being in a car accident while you're in your pajamas is being in a car accident while you're in your pajamas with a hot cop around.