Nightmares Do Come True

Last week was the first week of school, and I managed - every single day - to get four children AND myself fed and dressed and completely ready before dropping the boys off. I was feeling pretty cocky proud of that accomplishment.

But then there was yesterday.

The kids kept sleeping and sleeping, which they rarely do. And you know how painful it is to wake a sleeping child, right? Even when I know it's going to make me late, I almost can't bring myself to go and purposely wake them from the peaceful slumber I spend a huge portion of time trying to induce. I mean, hello ... quiet time! How difficult it is to willingly forfeit the quiet!

So we got a little bit of a late start yesterday. And by the time we needed to head out the door, everyone was ready ... except me. No makeup. Unbrushed hair. I did throw a bra on under my pajamas, but that was the extent of it.

"Oh well," I thought. "It'll just be a quick trip anyway. Dropping the kids off. There and back. Boom."

We drove to the school and I waited my turn in the dropoff line. And my internal monologue for the next couple of minutes went something like this:

I wish these kids would stop bickering. WHY are they BICKERING? Oh great. Now the baby is crying. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up ...

Oh good, the van in front of me is getting ready to move. Now I can pull up and drop two of them off and the bickering will cease, thank the LORD.

Oh, the van's going to back up first. 

He's ... still backing up.

He's ... OMG, he's still backing up! Does he even see me behind him? Lay on the horn! Lay on the horn!



Oh. Mah. Gah. He seriously just hit my van. And now I have to get out. In front of everybody. And talk to someone. IN MY EFFING PAJAMAS.

Is it sad that I thought about being in my PJs before worrying about possible vehicle damage? Because that's totally how it went down in my head.

It was an old dude and he was all, "I'm sorry, I was up half the night!" and I felt sorry for him. And so we didn't even exchange insurance information. Part of that was because the only damage was a broken license plate frame, but I'm not gonna lie, the other part was that I just wanted to get back in the car and spare my pajama-ed self any more public humiliation.

If you've been reading me for a while, you know that this scenario has been one of my worst fears. And wouldn't you know! It could have been worse, though. At least the police weren't involved.

Because the only thing worse than being in a car accident while you're in your pajamas is being in a car accident while you're in your pajamas with a hot cop around.


  1. OMG - same fear here. Except in addition to me being in my pj's I usually keep the kids that don't have to get out of the car barefoot. The only thing we're missing is Granny in a rocking chair strapped to the top of our mini van.

  2. this was unfortunate for you, sure...

    but it was awesome to read, so thanks for posting it.

    I FREAK whenever I think someone is going to back into my car. Not fun.

  3. Thats my biggest fear!! I take my kids to school in my pjs everyday!! Except my only excuse for not being dressed is lazyness. I just REALLY love to sleep:) Im glad there was no major damage to your car or you and the kiddos!!

  4. Oh my gosh, why the heck was he BACKING UP in the pick-up line?! And of course that happened on the day you were still in your pj's. Murphy's Law, right?!

  5. Oh my gosh! Stuff like that always happens when you're in your pj's, or at least don't have any makeup on. (And you know how paranoid I am about being seeing without makeup.)I would have reacted the same way, I'm sure. At least no one was hurt!

  6. Girl! I TOTALLY feel your pain. No really, I mean TOTALLY. About the 3rd or 4th day of school I was in a super rush to drop Maggie off. I jumped right on out of the van to get her out and realized my car was STILL moving. I FORGOT to put it in park. Long story short..I hit the car in front of me. AND, wait for it.....I was in my ratty pj's. Then again, I ALWAYS wear my pj's. Anyway, sorry your nightmare came true. Let's just look at it as, you and I are starting a cool J club.

  7. Totally a fear of mine, too! Nothing like getting up at the ass crack o'dawn for this morning-hatin' chica, lookin' a hot mess, and actually having to get out of the car or roll down the window to chat with a perky parent. Praying this doesn't have to happen this year!!


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