The Restaurant Radar

And now for your regularly scheduled blog post ... :)

My husband, Curtis, has a problem. It's an urge he can't seem to fight.

I can tell when it's overtaking him; his eyes glaze over, and even though he's looking at me, I can tell he's not really looking at me. 

Curtis is ... a restaurant eavesdropper.

It drives me crazy, y'all. 

We rarely go out to dinner because it's expensive to feed our hungry little brood who now insist on getting kids' meals instead of eating off our plates. And it's even more rare that we get to go out to eat by ourselves. But either way, kids or no kids, I like to enjoy the experience. And that means having a nice, relaxed chat with our meal.

I can always guarantee that when we go out, Curtis will be totally focused on the conversation. Problem is, it's never our conversation. The last time we were at a restaurant, he started answering me with distracted nods and polite "Mm-hm"s and I knew that he was eavesdropping on the table behind me.

"Curtis," I hissed. He knew he'd been busted.

"Sorry, sorry," he whispered. "It's just that - this guy with the mohawk at the table behind you, he's being racist."

I rolled my eyes because frankly, I don't care if the dude is singing opera at his table - it's his table and his conversation and his bidness. And I mean, hello, I was surely talking about something super-important like the fact that tomorrow was garbage day or how Cameron keeps tying his shoelaces into knots. Why would you need to look elsewhere when you've got such vibrant and engaging conversation at your own table? Sheesh.

Not only that, but Curtis knows as well as I do that it doesn't matter the topic of conversation. The next table can be talking about their trash day or their knotted-up kids' shoes and it's apparently still infinitely more interesting than what's going on at our table. It wasn't like Mohawk Man's conversation was so uniquely riveting - racism or not - that Curtis just had to stop and listen. He would've been listening anyway.

I'm dying to someday just secretly plant somebody he doesn't know at a table near ours, and then have them start talking about him. 

At least then we'd both be amused.


  1. Jessica Armstrong LasaAugust 23, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    HAHA!!! That is funny! This one time on a trip out of town we were at this Denny's and the table behind me was having this like family feud about someone who had just died or something. I just couldn't help myself! It's as if there is a TV on behind me or something. If they're gonna take their Jerry Springer "bidness" out in public, I'M GONNA WATCH (or listen to) IT!! ;)

  2. omg...That is what I do at restaurants and it drives my husband bonkers....Especially when we are in the car and I start talking about the things I've heard....He's all like "that is none of your business"....and i'm all like "I am home alone with 5 out of the 7 kids all day long, and it's like watching a soap opera for free" He just rolls his eyes....but now he requests a seat in the back and puts me on the side with the wall, which make it harder to hear anyone's question....bummer

  3. Hahaha...That's what my husband says I do. I eavesdrop on every one...."and he's all like that isn't any of your business" and i'm like "hello, I've been stuck with 5 of the 7 kids all day and it's like a soap opera for free" And he hates it when I start talking about the things I heard at the restaurants. Now he has been asking if we can be seated in the back with me with my back to the wall, and that makes it hard to hear anyone's conversation....bummer

  4. I'm so guilty of this. Sometimes its so much easier to just listen to everything around you then to try and be engaging. Its probably wouldn't be so hard if you where around though because you always got something to say that is worth listening to I mean come on you got 193 followers.

  5. pretty sure I do this as much as your husband does. crazy people fascinate me, and when I hear one talking in public, I can't help but tune in.


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