First of all, to save me some explanation time, you should really read this post. Really, go read it ... I'll wait.*

*I'm giving you all the patience in my limited reserve, so feel privileged.

Back so soon? Awesome.

The post you just read was written two years ago. And what's horrible is that it still holds true. Two years later and I'm still struggling to keep my stuff intact.

You see, yesterday, Colin and Coby (7 and 3) were playing school in my bedroom. They do it all the time. When I went to check on them, they were sitting quietly on the floor - Coby filling out a "worksheet" and Colin pretending to be his teacher. It was one of those heart-melting Mom moments, actually, when they're not whining or bickering or kicking each other for the first time in like two months and you're all, "Awwww."

So, assuming all was well, I went to make dinner.

Silly me.

I should know better than to assume anything. EVER.

Because when you assume things are well, this happens:

That's my brand-new mascara all over his face. And the rest? Those smudges all the way from his shoulder to his toes? That is nail polish. But not just any nail polish - not a light neutral pink or something, ohhh nooo - it's a color called "Petrol" which is a nearly-black blue-green. (And which, despite repeated scrubbing with nail polish remover, still stains the skin ... so now Coby appears to have some weird rotting foot disease.)

As for Colin, my seven-year-old who definitely knows better but watched his little brother do all this anyway? He has this misguided perception that if he wasn't actually the one committing the act, then he's not at fault.

Yeah. Needless to say, that perception was promptly corrected.

But that didn't restore my makeup to its original condition.


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  1. I know this has to be frustrating....but he's such a cute little culprit! You need to put a shelf up really high somewhere for your makeup and then threaten the boys with bodily harm if they touch it! LOL

  2. I have sooooooo been there. The one thing I love now about being the only female in the house, my make is all mine! and I am trying to not go to the store with it on all the time! But then again, your mom and I are from that same era.

  3. Heh just remember your poor mom had to put up with us mixing eggs and bananas in her shampoo back in the day.

  4. Oh my goodness. I'm so scared for Henry to get bigger.

  5. Sorry about your stuff. At least your kids were indoors and not tormenting passers-by with their antics.
    When my son was 7, he put on some colorful long-johns;some bloomer-like underwear on top of them(Where those bloomers came from, I shudder to think); put his long-ish hair in two pigtails and insisted that I take him for a walk. Since, at the time, I was still working out the difference between appropriate behavior and unhampered self-expression; I let him go out. We cruised the blocks for some time and he joyfully exclaimed, "Happy Easter!" to each passer-by, even though it was September. Horror. Mortification. Oy.
    This kid is 13 now, and, if allowed, he would do the same thing or worse, just to see what happened.

    If your kids persist, I say give them an allowance to buy their own damn make-up! :)


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