Gla(mom)orous

My husband went to New York on business. He does this type of thing every few months. And while he's gone, guess who gets to stay behind and single-handedly take care of every glorious household duty?

Yep. Me. The missus. The little woman. Suzy Homemaker.

It's, like, sickening how glamorous my lifestyle is sometimes.

When Curtis called yesterday, he was all, "I'm in New York! Boy, you should see this hotel. It's really nice. It's on the twelfth floor, and I have an incredible view. We don't have any meetings until tomorrow, so we're going to do some sightseeing. First up, Central Park!"

And then throughout his marvelous New York day, he texted me pictures like this:


... And this ...


... and this.


So I took pictures throughout my day. Like ...

... the crusty baby-cereal patch on my tres-chic elastic-waisted pants ...

... and the typical demeanor of the teething four-month-old ...

... and the unfortunate spilling of the peppercorns by a three-year-old who was getting into the cabinets to eat all the marshmallows ...

... and the dishes in the sink because the dishwasher was full ...

... and Cameron using bubble gum as a mustache and a necklace ...

... which led to me spending like ten minutes picking it out of his neck hairs while he whined ...

... and the state of the living room less than ten minutes after I vacuumed ...

... and the mysterious gash that happened while I was taking the dogs out to pee, that no one would claim responsibility for ...

... and more crying ...

... and the laundry ...

... ohhhhh, the laundry ...

... and bath time.

There were some things my little "day-in-the-life" photo diary didn't capture: like the eight hundred squabbles I moderated. Or when the dog ate an ill-gotten bag of pork rinds and then barfed them up all over the carpet. Or the screw I had to remove from Coby's ear. Or the leftover pork roast I reheated for supper. 

I didn't text any of these pictures to Curtis because I didn't want him to be jealous of this fabulous time I'm having here in Iowa, while he's suffering through New York City sightseeing and lobster dinners. 

Wife of the year right here, y'all.


6 comments:

  1. I am sorry, I might have to reach out and kill my husband if he texted me those pictures when I was home playing the dutiful wife!

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  2. Oh my gracious, Rita! We are in the mud together. I have no hope that my family room will ever be clutter free ... at least for the next 10 or so years.

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  3. I think that hotels are cold. I think that eating out gets old. I am on the road a lot for work. and you know what? thought it's cool from time to time, it's SOOOO much better to be a part of the pictures you took.

    Glamorous? Em, maybe not. But awesome? yes.
    Kiran

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  4. I feel ya! My hubs was not in glamorous NY he was in MN but he was in a nice hotel and eating out three times a day for a week while I stayed behind to cook clean work and do all the mom stuff we know and (mostly) love..

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  5. I feel you! My hubs had a week long training thing and I got to stay behind to you know work cook clean do all that mommy stuff we know and (mostly) love ugh lol

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  6. Oh I'm seriously laughing my butt off right now. Ryan was in San Fran in business a month or two ago and sent me all kinda of pictures like thy. Meanwhile, I was knee deep in very type of bodily fluid you could think of. So glamorous

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