I'm So Wrong I'm Right


I think I'm gonna start my own business. It will be called "Rita's Accurately Inaccurate Gender Predictions."

Because I have managed - and this is an amazing feat, y'all - to guess impending babies' genders wrong an astonishing one hundred percent of the time.

Seriously, moms-to-be should be swarming my door and inundating my e-mail inbox. Because I am more reliably wrong than, like, the weather forecaster. My wrongness is the type of wrongness you can count on. None of this "right-10%-of-the-time" crap ... I am always, without fail, mistaken. My inaccuracy is, in a weird way, accurate of its own accord. Which means that if you wanna know what you're having? Just ask me. And then go with the complete opposite of what I tell you.

It even holds true for my own babies. When I was pregnant with Colin, I KNEW he was a girl. I would have bet my life savings on it. (If I had a life savings.) I was so sure he was a girl that I didn't even question myself - I thought it was that famous "mother's intuition." Then when we had our big gender-revealing ultrasound, the technician swiveled the wand over to this little hotdog-looking protrusion and was all, "There's Mr. Happy!" and I was like, "My daughter has a penis?!"

Turns out he was actually, you know, a boy. Not a daughter with a penis after all.

Same with Cameron. Same with Coby. Same with every-other-friggin-baby-whose-gender-I-try-but-fail-to-guess.

So, for only $99.95, you too can make use of my astounding incorrectness to determine the sex of your baby. Line up, ladies! :) 


Comments

  1. Check out my blog... Can you tell by the ultrasound, or is it a belly prediction? What am I not having?

    :)

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  2. That was too funny. Thanks fot the laugh

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  3. If I was going to have an other baby, I would totally use your serves.

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  4. I thought my first two were girls. WRONG.
    #3 was such a surprise pregnancy that we found out beforehand what it was. I needed to be mentally prepared in case it was another boy...

    ...and sure enough, it was.

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  5. That's really funny! Go you! Haha

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  6. I'm definitely going to be asking you what you feel mine might be when I am pregnant!!

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  7. I thought Natalie was a boy.

    I was shocked when the technician was all, "Looks like you're having a girl."

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  8. BAH! you have george costanza syndrome! george had bad instincts and decided he should always do the opposite of what he wanted. if you never watched seinfeld, this will be lost on you!

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  9. Well, at least you're consistent. (Let me know if the $99.95 thing works.....I have a few not-too-useful things I could sell, too!)

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  10. Funny! You are good at not being right! LIke you said, people should be swarming to you to see what they're NOT having!!!!
    Lindsey Petersen

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  11. You are so funny! I thought my daughter was a boy and my son was a girl. In fact, it took 3 (3!!!) u/s to convince me that was sausage and not a taco. I really wanted a girl (again), but I am SO glad I had a boy. He's captured and stolen my heart.

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  12. The u/s tech with our second was doing the scan, and my husband and I are turning are heads to the side, trying to figure out where the parts were. We KNEW we were having a boy b/c we wanted a girl so much. Finally she says, "I'll stop teasing. It's a GIRL!" I'll never forget it. So I am also wrong. A lot.

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  13. Considering your odds should be 50-50 that you'll guess correctly, your results of 100% wrong are pretty astounding!

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  14. Damn. Wish I knew of your services a few years back. What a bargain price.

    I have awarded you the Honest Scrap Award if you would like to come and pick it up.

    LisaDay

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  15. I'm home from vacay and doing my best to ignore the mountainous laundry while catching up with my friends.

    I am sooo the same way. I even argued with my sister when she called me to inform me she'd had a girl. I was all, "No, you are supposed to have a boy because I guessed boy."

    So glad your boys weren't girls with penises. That would have been jacked up.

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  16. Sounds like a helluva deal to me! lol

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