All the Wrong Raisins

I know. I swore I'd never buy any more raisins. But like most other things I swear to do (give up sugar, drink more water, keep up on the housework, blah blah blah) ... that kind of fell by the wayside.

It's mornings like these when I wish I were better at sticking to my resolutions.

Colin and Cameron, my four-year-old and two-year-old, were playing quietly in their room. Should I have known that quietness = mischief? Of course. I've been a mother for nearly five years now (and I was once a child myself). But when you're sitting at your computer, blissfully and obliviously reading blogs in the blessed silence, you tend to glaze over what may be happening in the other room and hope it's the one time out of a hundred when they really are being good.

But.

The baby, who had been playing with his toys on the floor, came crawling up to me with a diaper blowout of epic proportions (we're talking up-the-back here). I hadn't smelled it because my nose is completely out of commission due to a cold, so it was a lovely surprise. The wipes are in the boys' bedroom with Cameron's diapers, so I carried Coby back there and pushed the door open. Here's what I saw.

Cameron, diaperless, crouched in the middle of Colin's upper bunk.

Colin, on the bunk bed stairs, laughing hysterically.

Upon closer inspection, I realized that Cameron had pooped, then taken off his diaper. On the bed. And not only was he firmly plopped upon Colin's freshly washed sheets with his nasty behind, and had poo smeared all over his legs and feet and goodness knows where else, he was also rolling between his fingers what appeared to be ...

... raisins?

Yes. Raisins. Raisins that looked like they could've just come from the bag, only, you know, plumper. Reconstituted, if you will.

I guess the child doesn't chew before he swallows.

I mean it this time. No more raisins.




Comments

  1. ROTFLMAO!! That was so hilarious. Brings back memories

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  2. OMG! That is so gross. I am so glad those days are waaaaaay behind me!

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  3. Live and learn, hu! I'm especially sorry about the clean sheets- that sucks!

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  4. I was just about to pontificate on my love for raisins, but OMG, it will be a long time now, long time!

    I feel so awful for you. What an ungodly mess. I don't miss that part of those days. Nope. Good luck with the blow-outs and the laundry and your cold and of course, the raisins.

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  5. That is the worst! I'd swear off raisins, too. *blegh* Hope he didn't EAT any. . . um, again.

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  6. Oh lord! At least he wasn't trying to EAT the raisins! You have more poop to deal with than anybody I know.

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  7. Oh my Lord. Did you just turn around and walk back out of the room. It is kinda like how did you even get him to the bathroom with that kinda mess? Goodness.

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  8. Oh, the beauty of parenthood. This just reminds me to be grateful that everyone in our house is out of diapers.

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  9. I had to re-read it several times to make sure you were saying what I thought you were saying. Nasty!!!

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  10. Wow, that is pretty gross, and I'm so sorry for you having to deal with that mess! Thank you for reminding me why staying on the pill is a good thing! We're done with diapers!

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  11. Oh no, no, no, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Truly, more than I could bare. You are a stronger woman than I. That's it, no more boys for me. hahaha

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  12. EWWWW I haven't had that happen yet and hopefully I don't! I would cry!!!

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  13. Raisin diapers are the pits. Literally. Wait raisins don't have pits.
    Don't mind me!
    Also, gross, gross, and GROSS. Kids are fun!

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  14. Those damn raisins!! GAHROSS

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  15. Oh no!!!! Sorry for the mess.

    And I likely wont be eating any raisins in the near term. LOL.

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  16. TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!! I guess that means a day of laundry/cleaning for you :( Ahh who am I kidding - those are normal days right?! lol

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  17. Oh God! I swear, sometimes reading your blog is better than birth control.

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