Daylight Ravings

So unless you live in Arizona or Hawaii, or outside of the U.S. altogether, you realize that today is the day when we lucky denizens of (most of) the States get to turn our clocks back an hour for the pain in the ass phenomenon known as Daylight Saving Time. And frankly, I'm sick to death of the misleading information I'm hearing about it. Because supposedly - supposedly - turning the clock back leads to an extra hour of sleep. But hear this, you perky newscasters, you chipper radio personalities, you newspaper headlines, all proclaiming that we should enjoy that extra hour: I'm calling you out on your lies. Because for those of us who have small children that don't go by the clock? We'd be more likely to see Pegasus landing on our porches with Santa Claus riding on his back than any so-called "extra" sleep.

My kids are early birds anyway - they woke me up before six today. But thanks to the lovely clock setback, it was before five. And you know what? When you open your eyes and look at the clock and you know you have to wake up even though it only says 4:41, you're automatically dead tired. Stumbling, braindead, holding-your-eyelids-open-with-toothpicks tired. I don't care if your body thinks you've slept until almost six; your brain has registered that it's almost five, and therefore too early to be up, and therefore it's all, "Screw this! I'm going back to sleep!" which is why you try to change the baby with a box of tissues and burn the pancakes black while you zone out staring at the spatula.*

*And by "you" I may or may not mean "me." 

Extra hour my ass. They ought to call it "A-Big-Eff-You-to-the-Parents-of-Small-Children-Day." Because little kids don't have any concept of the clock. They just wake up when they're not tired any more - so if they usually wake up at seven, they wake up at seven. Only now it's six. Thanks a bucket, Daylight Saving Time.

And then? You get to hear about it. On the news, in the paper, all over Facebook, in your Twitter stream. People everywhere, proclaiming how awesome it's gonna be to have an extra hour of sleep and how we should all take advantage of this glorious opportunity and how scientists say that this one extra hour of sleep could, like, make up our entire sleep deficit for the year and boost our IQ by 20 points and possibly even make us immune to disease.*

*This may not be scientifically factual information. 

The only good thing about Daylight Saving Time - the one and only perk - is that now the kids will be ready for bed at seven instead of eight. Which means I have one more hour to catch up on the laundry and the dishes and the clutter.

... Did I actually just call that a perk?

I think I'm moving to Arizona.


  1. So true. I even let my little guy stay up an extra hour hoping but to no avail he was up at 6:21 am. SUCKS!

  2. I don't have kids, but my dog was whining for her breakfast at 5am this morning! She doesn't seem to care when I tell her that the government has mandated that its not time yet...

  3. LOL! Just so you know, it's not just the US that changes. In Europe we actually moved back last weekend. Fortunately (for me) Indy is a late sleeper, so he didn't come into our room until about 7:45am, at which time I told him he could go watch Disney XD in the living room and promptly went back to sleep. Once the new one comes along though, I'm back to where you are and where I was when Indy was a baby. So, yeah, screw you Daylight Savings Time.

  4. You SHOULD move to Arizona, it's pretty great! And I won't lie...super glad I have never had to deal with the whole daylight savings thing. It makes no sense whatsoever to me.

    However, you forgot Indiana. They don't do it either. Wouldn't you know...the only two places i've ever lived, AZ and IN and no daylight savings. I guess I knows how to pick 'em.

    And KNOW I feel your early morning pain. My kids lurve the early hours as well. Hope you get through the day with no more burning mishaps.

  5. Team Tuna has lived in Arizona for 25 years, my Dad who lives in NJ still starts every conversation with.....what time is it there.

  6. I'm as bad as the kids....woke up at my usual time and then wandered around with nothing to do for an extra hour before church. I don't understand why we can't just leave the time alone. I see no real advantage to Daylight Savings.

  7. I grew up in Arizona and never had to deal with this. All of my adult life, I have lived outside of AZ and I think all this daylight savings stuff is a major crock of shit. Unnecessary. Serves no purpose. And, yes, everything you just wrote was The Truth.

  8. Yeah, Daylight Savings SUCKS ASS!!!

  9. I live in Arizona, and I have early risers, too. I was so thankful this morning that I didn't have to deal with DST...even though my iPhone thought I did and oh-so-(un)kindly changed the time for me.

  10. I LOVE not having to worry about changing the clocks:) Yay Arizona!!

  11. I"ve never minded it, even with small children they seemed to adjust really well. Until Munchkin #3 came along. She decided this morning to be up at 3:30 until 5:30. Umm..No thanks. I really hope she doesn't do this to me again. I think I'll cry.


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