Get Your Google Out of My Cranium

I swear that Google can read my mind, y'all. Either that or they're staking out my house.

I'm talking about the targeted advertising that appears at the top of my Gmail. Like, one time I was sitting here staring blankly at my computer screen - which happened to be displaying my email at the time - thinking about how someday, some day, I'll finish the novel I've been working on for oh, like a thousand years now. And then all of a sudden, when my focus returned, I looked at the screen and there was an ad for self-publishing.

WTF, Google? WTF?

But as eerie as that was, the targeted ads reach a new level of uncanny the other day. Because Google reached into the depths of my very heart and soul and pulled out my longest-held desire. My desire for ...

... disco ball pants. (Click on the image if you can't see it very well.)

Why yes, that IS "Puzzle Farter" in my favorites bar.

"Finally," the ad says, "soft, shiny pants that reflect light like a disco ball."

Finally, indeed. Do you know how long I've been waiting for light-reflecting pants, people? If I had a dollar for every time I cried over my sorely lacking wardrobe, well ... let's just say I could snatch up all the disco pants that "betabrand.com" has to offer. I mean, can you imagine what such soft, shiny, eye-dazzling pants would do for cellulite?

I just checked my email again, and this time the ad is for "A Brain Surgeon's Must-Have Gizmos."

Oh Google, you know me too well.

12 comments:

  1. Oh Rita, you make me laugh so hard!! I do so enjoy your posts, it brightens my day when I see you've posted a new one in my FB newsfeed!

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  2. Huh? Google never suggests cool things like that for me. I guess we don't know each other as well as I thought.

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  3. You're freaking me out. My friend said that Google did a mental search the other day with her. She thought it and there it was. Voila. o.O

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  4. Sadly Halloween is over but folks are still craving their disco pants!

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  5. I've noticed those Google ads, trying to sell me time shares in Detroit and such. They're sneaky.

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  6. I was just wondering about the "puzzle farter?"

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  7. Hilarious!

    I think those pants would make a good Christmas gift. For someone.

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  8. Yep, nothing I'd like more than pants that draw attention to my ever-widening butt! And gizmos for brain surgeons? Frightening!

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  9. I just finished watching 30 Rock - umm, google means something different to Tracy ;)

    Google (the kind you are talking about) *is* freaky!

    And the pants... finally, exactly what I needed.

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  10. Oooo...Disco ball pants sound even better than "pajama jeans"!!!

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  11. disco ball pants. that is the one thing i am missing! life will be complete once i have a pair. lol

    hope you have a great weekend!

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