What's That on My Window?

I think somebody threw poop at my window.

No, seriously.

Check it out. What do you guys think?

Ignore the other smudges (I blame four kids, two dogs, and very little desire to spend all day with a bottle of Windex) and focus on the chunky brown smear smack-dab in the middle. Of my second-story window.

Now, not to brag or anything, but I consider myself somewhat of a poop expert. Lord knows I've dealt with more than my fair share of it, often in a much more hands-on manner than anyone should ever have to. I've found it on our pug and  in our plunger, crusted into a toothbrush, deposited into a toy, sprayed all over my arm and leg, smeared all over our bathroom floor and on the wall, and on the carpet so many times I can't even count (including one weird incident that nobody ever 'fessed up to. Oh wait: make that TWO weird incidents that nobody ever 'fessed up to). Point is, I'm pretty keen at recognizing feces - dog, human, liquid, solid, you name it.

So when I opened the curtains this morning I was met face-to-face with this vile smear. And I was like, gasp! And then I was like ... WTF? Because, I mean ... poop. On the window. It had to have been thrown there; I highly doubt someone manually smeared it on with a step ladder.

I'm fairly sure it's dog poop because if you're gonna hurl fecal matter, you need only look to our yard for raw materials. It's a treasure trove out there. But number one, who wants to touch dog poop? And number two (hehe): why? We're peace-loving people. We don't bother anyone. There's no beef with our neighbors, no vendetta that can only be satisfied by fecally defacing our property.

Poop thrown at my window: hate crime, random act of boredom, or roving band of poo-flinging monkeys?

Either way, it's crappy.  


  1. Looks like bird poop! Backtracking through your blog and laughing all the way...mommy to an 8 month old boy and already have a few choice poop stories myself :)


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