Playing can be Pricey

I feel like I'm talking to myself here ... nobody reads on a Saturday. Probably because everybody else is out, like, doing stuff. But not me: it's cold and rainy here today, and Curtis is out of town (lucky him!), and my kids are playing in the baby's bedroom.

When I say "playing," it's probably more along the lines of "doing things I would disapprove of just because I can't see them." But it's quiet in here, y'all. You understand. Nine times out of ten, there's a price for quiet - you just have to pray it's a small price, and not some monumental fiasco capable of rendering you temporarily speechless. (Like this.)

The other day after a fifteen-minute stretch of "playing," I went to check on them and found that they'd dragged the old baby bathtub out of the closet. Colin had apparently instructed Cameron to pee in it. Thank goodness they had lined the bottom of it with paper towels first. ... A whole roll of paper towels.

Then there was the time they deconstructed the empty diaper pail and somehow got the baby stuck in it.

Oh, and the time they unrolled a brand-new roll of toilet paper, in its entirety, because they wanted to get the spring out of the toilet paper holder. (Apparently it was a necessary component to their "latest invention" - Lord only knows what that would've consisted of!)

There are sometimes surprises like this:

A Wow Wow Wubbzy toy and a smoke alarm. IN MY TOILET.

Or unfortunate uses of hair gel:

Sometimes it's absolutely devastating:

This would be - or used to be - the flat-screen TV in our bedroom.

And then there's the occasional mess so complicated that it requires some creative thinking, a rubber spatula, a bunch of plastic containers, and a shovel to clean up:

The contents of a brand-new bottle of laundry detergent. Apparently it was an accident, but still ...

Consider yourselves lucky I spared y'all the photos of poop tracked all. Over. The bedroom. And hallway.

So yeah. "Playing" isn't usually the quiet, well-behaved, building-a-tower-out-of-blocks-and-minding-their-own-business type of affair I desperately hope it is. But every time, I manage to delude myself into thinking that's exactly what they're doing ...

... at least until my blog post is finished. 

PS - For those who are curious? Today's "playing" consisted of a tipped-over rocking chair, the baby brandishing an ill-gotten gravy ladle, and Cameron standing in the window ... completely naked. 


  1. I'm reading... and loving it. Sorry it's all at your expense. :)

  2. hee hee hee! WHAT'S UP RITA?? I am reading!! cuz you know, I got work to do. :D I love it. I also know that when they are quiet I am going to have to clean something up's totally worth it. OMG about that flat screen. O. M. G. When we got our new flat screen for the living room it took two days for my boy to take a screw driver and scratch the front all up. luckily it still works fine though. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!! P.S. it is raining here too

  3. I'm amazed you stay sane. We live by the belief that quiet only means trouble. Thanks for the reminder of why I force my children to play outside so much, regardless of the weather.

  4. I read every day. And can I just say. YOUR TV. My kids would be in SOOOOO much trouble if they had done that. You poor thing, you totally need a vacation.

  5. You make me afraid to Breed. hahah
    The TV looks kinda cool in a non functional way.

    My Fiancee just said "Fuck Me, They would DIE. They would not be allowed to watch tv again
    They would get sent to their rooms whenever i wanted to watch tv
    I would turn it up real loud so they could hear it. feel the bass from the speakers rumble through the house."

    Note to self...TV is worth lives in our household.

  6. I am never again going to think that the things that my children do are terrible.

    Good Lord, woman.

  7. I write a lot on the weekends too, because I have no life.

    I'm sorry about your TV... ugh!

    The newest version of "playing" around here is Thing 1 smacking Thing 2 on the head. He seriously should just decorate his time out corner.

  8. Well that isn't too bad compared to your past "playing" stories :)

  9. YOUR TV?! Yikes! on the bright side, it looks like some cool painting.

  10. What is wrong with us? Even when we know it is against our better judgment, we are so STARVED for the quiet, that we let it go on, stupidly, even though we know there will probably be a price to pay. I sympathize. Empathize. Whatever. I thize with you.

  11. I still read on Saturdays! I don't have stuff to do either.

    Ha, that smoke alarm in the toilet cracked me up.

  12. When my nephew was 3 (he turns 10 this year), my brother left the kid sitting on the couch watching cartoons while he went to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen. He came back 60 seconds later to find an abandoned diaper, poop all over the TV, the stereo speakers, and a streak down the hall as the boy scooted on his ass toward the bathroom. When Mom passed that story to me, I was glad for the first time in my life that I was a thousand miles away.

  13. Oh no! How did the laundry thing happen? Yipes. We've had some messes but not quite to that extent! At least it makes for good stories for later in their lives... ;)


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