Puppies are Painful

Puppies, man.

Before we got Josie, I hadn't had a puppy in like ... over a decade. And I've found that with puppies, much like childbirth, you forget about the pain over time. But also like childbirth, once you get into the situation again you're all, "OMG!!!! WHY did I voluntarily repeat this?!" While we're comparing puppyhood to childbirth, let me just say this: having a puppy and three children four and under - two of them in diapers - is like being in labor without drugs, and saying, "Hell, since I'm already in pain, let's just go ahead and tattoo something big. With a dirty needle. On my face." 

I keep telling myself that this is only temporary, and that a few years down the road we'll have a wonderful family companion and won't remember the nighttime yapping. The spots of pee on the carpet that I don't find until they're virtually dry. The turds. The early-morning yapping. The chewed bathmat/oven mitt/shoes. The razor-sharp puppy teeth. The afternoon yapping.

Out of all that, I think what I find the least tolerable is the pee-A.D.D. I know Josie's attention span is short and all that but sweet Lord, dog, just find a place to pee and stick with it, will ya?! I take her outside and she sniffs around like, "Okay, this looks like a good sp - hey, there's a leaf! ... All right, I'm really gonna go this time, right here on this - hey, a piece of trash!" Every breeze, every stick, every dog that barks from ten miles away creates a fresh diversion. And by the time she stops chasing and digging and biting her own damn tail, we've been outside for a solid ten minutes. Thank goodness the weather's finally getting nice.

Despite it all, though, my whole family adores her - me included. Because if there were ever anything adorable? It's our Josie-Jo:

She's lucky she's so cute.

Comments

  1. We have a new puppy here as well, but I only have one child who's turning 3 on Sunday. He is definitely a handful, to say the least. Thank you for the funny (and adorable) post that I could definitely relate to.

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  2. OMG - that really is the cutest picture!

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  3. We don't have a dog. And I don't think we will ever get one. Not because we hate dogs or anything. But, similar to what you said, I feel that the decision to have a dog is about the same as the decision to have another baby. And I'm not going there.

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  4. Oh wow. She is SO adorable!

    I feel your pain - we also have a new puppy and he's so much work. Last Monday he jumped out of my son's arms and landed wrong, breaking all four bones in his paw. So now he has a giant cast and is even more work.

    But you - with little ones at home AND a puppy! Tattoo on the face with a dirty needle, indeed. You're crazy, girl!

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  5. They are awfully cute but your story reminds me why we are getting a cat.

    LisaDay

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  6. I just LOVE her!! Too cute! But I know what you mean, puppy teeth are SHARP! We are dealing with cat issues right now, I don't know if she senses that things are getting ready to change but I swear she is regressing! Meowing incessantly at the bedroom door every single night, constantly getting into stuff she's not supposed to (like the tv wires) even after time and time again we scold her, things like that. PLUS she's not a fan of kids. In her defense, she hasn't been around them much, so they of course freak her out when they get down in her face with those high pitched voices, but still, it's making me nervous for when we bring baby home... I just don't know what to do.

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  7. LOL I remember those days with our dog.

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  8. That is pretty freaking cute. Do you have place you can just put her outside by herself for awhile? Maybe she just really likes being outside.

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  9. What a great picture! We adopted an older puppy - probably 10 months or so, so she's doing really well in the potty training department, but I feel your pain. I felt like an idiot standing outside saying "potty outside? potty outside. potty outside? potty outside!" for like 10 minutes. But like childbirth and the diaper stage, "this too shall pass," right?

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  10. She's MORE lucky that you're so patient and loving of her. 'Cause I'm here to say, I could NOT handle it. Oh wait, that's why I don't do dogs. Good luck with it all.

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  11. Seriously, I don't know how you do it.


    And if this is the second comment that you got from me, sorry. My computer did something strange and I don't know if the first one went through.

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  12. That is the cutest picture! We got a rescue dog that was 3 years old. I was hoping not to have to deal with the chewing. But, he chews EVERYTHING.

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  13. My younger dog is only a year and she still has pee ADD. We stand there with her when we take her out and constantly say "come on Sofie, do your pee pee". The neighbors must think we're nuts. But if we don't remind her continually she gets far too distracted.

    Bless you for doing the puppy thing while doing the baby thing. I only had to deal with the dog and I often couldn't handle it.

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  14. I tell my 2 puppies that all the time. And they are lucky they're so cute. They have brought me to hell and back. And the peeing? It's going to kill me. My girls love to squat as soon as my back is turned. I feel like I spend my days, sniffing and spraying. I can't wait for this stage to be over. I've said this before and I truly don't do this, but you have to read my post about what my dogs did to me. It almost strait-jacketed me, seriously.

    It's right here, if you have a chance. http://laundryhurtsmyfeelings.blogspot.com/2010/03/lessons-i-am-learnin-you-todayyou-are.html

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  15. GREAT pic!! I always think people should start with puppies B4 they have children ;-)

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  16. Awww...she is so cute! I love chocolate labs. I could not handle a puppy AND my 3 boys ages 4 and under. There is enough poop in this house already!

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  17. Thanks for reminding me that we don't need to get a puppy! Your comment in the beginning reminded me of my friend who always says, "I'd rather give birth. . . while putting a cigarette out. . . in my eye." BTW, I have given you a Beautiful Blogger Award and One Fine Blog Award, although I'm sure you've already gotten all of these with your fabulousness!

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  18. So cute.

    I couldn't handle a puppy. I can barely handle the cat we have. He likes to cough up hairballs all over my clean carpet.

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  19. She is so darn cute! I can't get over it.

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  20. She's SO cute! I can't wait to get hold of her! And even old dogs get distracted and don't pee when you want them to. Maggie used to do that all the time, and I noticed Drew did it last time we kept him. I haven't decided whether you're brave or just plain silly to have a puppy and two babies in diapers at the same time. LOL, it's just too much poop for me!

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  21. Sounds terrible, but you're right... who could resist that face? :)

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  22. ohhhhhh lady...she is so cute. it ALMOST makes me want to get a new puppy...then i remember the 2 mutts i already have that chew my blinds and meh.. i'm over it! lol...love those dang dogs! and i'm sure your family LOVES this new bundle of joy! and dude, that picture...you need to enter it in my contest i have going on right now! its the 'my pet is cuter than your celebrity baby' contest...she'd be perfect!!!!

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  23. Bless you! There is no way I could introduce another relationship to my homes of 25 realtionships.

    The puppy is sweet:)

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