Negligence Leads to Tattoos

Forgive me if I sound like I'm drunk or something ... I'm just in shock over yesterday's uber-awesome turn as the SITS Featured Blogger. I gained a hundred new followers, and a deeper appreciation for the ones who were already following. Seriously, if I could, I would hug each of you until it gets uncomfortable and stare directly into your eyes in a creepily smitten manner. Because I love you THAT much.

So since a full third of you are as-yet-unfamiliar with me - and since I know the rest of you are dying to know even more mundane details of my life - I've created one of those Formspring.me pages. You can go there and ask me anything, even anonymously and I'll answer. So ask away right here, peeps, or via the convenient little widget over there in the right-hand sidebar! → Anything goes! As far as I can tell, you don't even need to register to ask questions.*

*But I'm still new at it and kind of a computer moron to boot

Anywho, I was like deathly ill for a hot second last week. I spent the better part of three days looking like this:

Only, you know, more horizontal.

(And yes, this is unfortunately my real hair, y'all - not just some crazy wig I put on for giggles.)

The worst part of my illness happened to fall on my husband Curtis's two days off, so he was able to watch the boys. And by "watch the boys" I mean "let them play with my pots and pans, drag every last toy out of their toy box, and eat candy on demand." All the while, the puppy ran amok, peeing on every-damn-thing and setting us back in our potty training endeavors. Is it any wonder that the morning after a 104-degree fever, I was up and cleaning like a madwoman just to restore things to some degree of normalcy? I think it might've fried my brain a little. Like I needed that.

There was one morning during my illness when Colin woke up before anyone else, and decided to take advantage of his solitude. He pulled a chair up to the cabinet where I keep forbidden goodies out of reach for special occasions - goodies like the sheets of spider tattoos that my mother-in-law sent them (gee, thanks, Nana).

I woke up to a four-year-old who looked like a prison tattoo experiment. No fewer than nine (huge) spiders covered his body. And since Colin is generally naked, several of the tatts were in, um, creative places. Places where only the most adventurous (and pain-tolerant) of people have real-life tattoos. I hope you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down, here, because it's not like I can post pictures.

Anyway, I'm pleased to report that I did get the stacks of dishes clean, the mountains of cat poo scooped from the box, the sticky fingerprints scrubbed, the towering piles of laundry caught up ...

... until the next day, when everything magically reappeared (what an effin' miracle!) and was awaiting my attention again.

At least my illness didn't stick around. Wish I could say the same for those tattoos ... 





Comments

  1. I'm a follower too but didn't sign up because I um, usually forget those things (I just pop everyone into google reader...slacker, I know.)

    I think when we were younger, we used to use rubbing alcohol to get temp tattoos off. :) If you're real desperate!

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  2. What a riot! How you even come close to restoring order I can't figure out... I haven't even been sick and I have NEVER seen the end of my laundry pile. Seriously when we moved here 6 months ago I grabbed a huge empty box and started using it as a makeshift hamper... to this day I haven't seen the bottom.

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  3. Glad you're feeling better - and that everyone survived the ordeal!

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  4. oh dear - the things that happen when moms try to put in for a sick day! I'm restoring order as well, but not due to illness - we got back from a 3day weekend Monday night and well, I'm just now addressing the laundry!

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  5. I tend to abandon the house if at all possible when the house is a mess and it happened under my husband's "watch".

    So you were literally feverishly cleaning...

    The tatoos make me laugh!

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  6. Sorry you've been feeling green. And sorry your house has been, too.

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  7. It's not worth taking time being sick- you have twice as much "recovery" work! My girls got all tatted up for St. Patty's day. i can't exactly complain- that would be hypocritical, lol.

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  8. Hello! I am a new reader and I am excited to be here! I too fear this day is coming soon to me. I have a 6 year old boy and a 1 year old boy...you see where I am going with this right?! Glad you are feeling better, looking forward to following your posts!- Denice

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  9. Mom's are not allowed be sick. That is why we are allowed to eat chocolate when we are not sick. Glad to be one of your new followers.

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  10. Hi! I'm a new follower over from SITS. Love your sense of humor. I know it's probably not so funny IRL but it gives us all a good laugh! :-)

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  11. Hi

    Am a new follower and spent last night and this morning dipping in-and-out of your blog; I've loved everything I've read. I bawled on the phone to hubby (he's military - British so away) after reading about Andy, I'd like a dog but he tells me I'm not house trained and will teach it bad habits;-0

    Happy writing and take care
    Natasha

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  12. Love your writing style. I'm glad your sickness didn't stick around long. It may have kept you from blogging, gasp! What would all of us newbies do?

    And I second bluewhitelife, rubbing alcohol will take those tattoos right off. But hey, let people stare, who cares?

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  13. Love your writing style. I'm glad your sickness didn't last long or you may not have been able to blog, gasp! What would all of us newbies do?

    I second bluewhitelife, rubbing alcohol will take those tattoos right off. But hey, let those people stare; who cares?

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  14. I just knew everyone was going to love you! You are fabulous, but um yeah, your hair is, well...

    something else.

    ;)

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  15. rita i don't know how you do it sister

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  16. Aw - glad you're feeling better! And your hair too :) Oh and I love that little widget - looks like fun!

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  17. You need a sister wife. If I find a good one I'll see if she has a IRL sister to send your way. It would make sick days much easier.

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  18. Congrats on the SITS award and new followers! It's amazing how indispensable moms are, isn't it? The world comes crashing down if we dare to even take a freakin nap.

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  19. that made me chuckle. i'd say laugh - but chuckle seems a more gentler word since you weren't so happy about the occurrence.

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  20. lol!
    oh my - I hope things get better. Just yesterday I heard a friend say, "It's not considered 'babysitting' when a dad is asked to stay home and watch his OWN kids!"

    My sweetheart routinely fixes food ONLY for himself on weekends, grumpily feeds half the kids off his plate, then wonders why the other half is grumpy.

    He's getting better though.....

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  21. I am sooo sorry about the hair ... I will ask Aphrodite to lend you a hand- and a good brush too LOL!! :-)

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  22. Yes, when I am sick the house just goes all wonky too! I have 3 teen boys and 1 9yr old girl, 2 dogs, a husband and a partridge in a pear tree! I feel ya SITSta...and have I gushed unashamedly that I love you and your blog? Well, I do...okay enough of that. Why is it that when we women are sick, we still have to clean if we don't want to be buried by the mess? The men..now they are a different story altogether as you well know, well I guess I won't go there..have a great day!

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  23. ahhh,the wonderfulness of temporary tats! where does the "temp" actually come!

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  24. The deathly sickness must be going around the QCA. This is the first full week the husband and I have not been sick since January. We're like children, passing it back and forth between us.

    Hope you feel back to 100 percent soon.

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  25. LOL, I can just imagine Colin with all those spiders tattoed in odd places! At least when you take him out somewhere, most of them will be covered. ;o)

    Unfortunately, you've inherited my hair....only yours is thicker. The more I let mine grow out, the more often I end up bunching it up on top of my head to keep it under control! Glad you're feeling better!

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  26. OMG I love kids, don't you!! Its those little moments we will remember long after they have moved out!! (I'm counting the days!!) Anyways I'm new to this blogging thing, so please take a look around my new site. Thanks!
    Angela

    http://imjaredsmomma.blogspot.com

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  27. AWESOME on the 100 new followers and LMFAO to your big ass hair I think it looks worse than mine!!! I won't ask ya anything since I pretty much know everything there is to know about you! LOL Love ya!!!

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  28. That's how my hair always looks when I wake up.

    I hate it.

    I've scared my children and my husband with it before. You'd think they'd be used to it by now.

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  29. Congratulations and I, for one, am one of your newest followers and so happy to be here. I told your little boy blue story to my sisters yesterday. So funny.

    Being sick is such an inconvenience as a mom because of the mayhem created while the mom is passed out in the bed. We get a double whammy. Why doesn't it work the same way for a dad? I just don't get it.

    Oh, and you should see my bed-head hair. Try Don King on his worst hair day except blonde and that would be me.

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  30. Uh-oh . . . I'm pretty sure I'm married to your husband. Crap.

    Seriously - why are men so useless?

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  31. Stopping in from SITS! Your life sounds almost as crazy/great as mine, LOL... I saw "mountains of cat poop" and laughed because I am really bad about getting to the cat litter. Can't wait until my little one is old enough to give himself tattoos.... ahhh, too cute!

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  32. YOu can also use baby oil to get rid of the tatoos not as harsh on their lvoely soft skin as rubbing alcohol. I love when husband are in charge of the children, it's no one is i charge. Hope your feeling better, love the hair, mine is similiar:) It's a lot of fun!

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  33. 100 new followers?! I am so green with envy right now.

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  34. So glad you're feeling better!

    Reminds me of the time I had to go to the ER and then stay in the hospital over night. When I came home the place was a mess and my son was addicted to McDonald's Happy Meals. Thanks, Dad! I've made it a point to never be sick again. :-)

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  35. I saw the post title and came in here all ready to defend tattoos, then wound up laughing my butt off. Moms should never take sick days, the whole house falls into chaos the minute you do. LOL

    And I feel you on the hair. Without massive amounts of care daily I've got a natural white-girl fro.

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  36. It never ends does it. Sick or well somehow those kids, AND husbands manage to mess up the place in a matter of seconds. UGH! Funny post, maybe because I could so relate. Glad you're feeling better.

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  37. Hmm, ya know, I was just voted the other day while playing a game at a friends house to be the most likely to put a tattoo in a strange place...looks like me and the kid may have something in common! hehe...while I do have some tats, they aren't anywhere strange though! Good luck on quick removal w/out scrubbing!

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  38. Sorry to read you weren't feeling well. But sure would have loved to see a picture of Colin with all his tatoos ***smile***

    www.FunnyPhotosContest.com. Submit CUTE or FUNNY photos and tell friends to vote. $2,000 in prizes. No entry fee.

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  39. Just catching up on reading. Glad you are feeling better, but that tattoo story, HILARIOUS!

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  40. Too funny, Reet. Reminds me of the picture that was forwarded around years ago of the little boy that stuck maxi pads all over his body and wrapped one right around his penis.
    Glad you're feeling better!

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