Poo to You!

I'll never get the chance to meet most of you in person. But for those of you I do have the privilege of meeting, please bear one thing in mind: if I give you a sweet treat that looks alarmingly like poop, it's because I'm trying to impress you. Really.

I've come to realize that I have an almost uncanny knack for creating desserts - for consumption by people other than my immediate family - which resemble feces. Seriously. I'm #1 at making things that look like #2.

Remember those cupcakes I made for the new neighbors? They looked like crap, in the most literal sense.

I don't know why, when it comes to making goodies for other people, I don't just stick to my tried-and-true recipes: the ones I've (more or less) mastered, like apple pie or chocolate chip cookies. It's like I have this weird compulsion to grandly go beyond my normal dessert repertoire and enter into delicious new territory. Only problem is ... it backfires on me. Like, always.

True to form, though, when Curtis asked me if I'd make him some kind of dessert to take to his holiday dinner at work, I decided to try making something new: chocolate-dipped peanut butter balls. Wisely, I whipped up a "test batch" of balls for home consumption first. (These thighs didn't get this size by themselves, y'all.) They were delicious, but a bit too big. So for the work party, I deduced, I should make them smaller. Bite-sized, if you will.

But what I didn't realize? Was that making them smaller would also make them look like little nuggets of poo.


So it looks like Curtis will be taking a platter of rabbit turds to work with him.

Hey, it's better than the creamed corn he took to last year's dinner.

14 comments:

  1. Awesome! I want rabbit turds. And if I ever come to your house then I want poo desserts, too!!

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  2. Well, at least they taste really, really good.

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  3. But as long as they don't TASTE like rabbit turds. Thats what matters. When you're finished with the peanut butter balls, you can start working on making actual shit smell like chocolate!

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  4. I just hear Chef in the background singing about his chocolate salty balls. Then I see Alec Baldwin talking about his Schweaty Balls. Then I gag a little.

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  5. It only looks like that because it's covered in chocolate, as any acceptable dessert should be.

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  6. "I'm #1 at making things that look like #2. " LOL LOL LOL!!!!

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  7. At least they don't TASTE like poo. Speaking of, I've got a poo post a comin. GIRL, how do you do it?

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  8. Hahaha I have done this too! I think we all have!

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  9. I have to comment on this because I almost blogged today about the gingerbread cookie that I made to look like a pile o' poo. Something is wrong with me.... I am aware of this. I had a post all planned and then my stinkin' cat ripped open the bag in the night and consumed the poo cookie. Bastard. lol!

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  10. Even poo might be acceptable to some folks if it's covered in chocolate! I still think they look appetizing, and I'm sure they're delicious. And the poo-topped cupcakes looked absolutely mouth-watering to me!

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  11. I should have said "Bas-turd".

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  12. I love those peanut butter turd things, so yummy! LOL

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  13. Nothing wrong with a poo-esque dessert as long as it tastes good! And the camoflauge of it's packaging usually keeps the leftovers for the brave!

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