(Un)Stuffed Animal

I was temporarily insane when, almost a year ago, we got a new puppy. Because who in their right mind gets a new puppy - a peeing, pooping, barking, chewing new puppy - when they've also got three small children, two of whom are in diapers?

But I made it through the new-puppy phase with at least some of my sanity (although mopping through hundreds of puddles and piles does do a number on the mental health). And now, for the most part, I can honestly say that Josie is a wonderful companion and an irreplaceable member of our family.

And it's a good thing she's cemented a place in our hearts. Because the other day, while the rest of the family was out shopping, Josie decided to redecorate ... starting with the couch pillows.

Now, I've cleaned up some particularly heinous messes in my day. (Remember this? Or this?) But this one, though definitely not as high on the gross-out factor, was probably one of the most difficult. Because the little pillow-stuffing fibers cling onto every. Single. Carpet fiber. I had to pick up the biggest tufts by hand, and then go over the entire area with the vacuum. It took me forever.

And this is where the "epic fail" part of the story comes in.

You see, the trash truck was scheduled to come the next morning.

And I - being the genius that I am - thought, "I'll just leave this trash bag full of stuffing and crap right here by the stairs so Curtis can take it down to the can when he leaves for work." Because I am all about convenience, y'all.

And in the night?

Josie took it upon herself to do this:

Yeah. The beyotch tore the bag open. And scattered the contents all over the living room ... FOR THE SECOND TIME. 

And then to add insult to injury? She barfed up a little bit of the stuffing onto the laundry room floor later.

I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog .........


  1. OMG, I am literally LOLing. I feel your pain (sort of). We have 3 small dogs who can do minimal damage (though it does amaze me how much pee and poop their tiny bodies can hold) and they have yet to attack the sofa cushions. Probably because we crate the younger 2 while we're gone and the oldest one can't jump on the furniture anymore. I do have an awful lot of eyeless/noseless/stuffingless "stuffed" animals though because one likes to take the eyes and noses off and another prefers to rip them open and remove their stuffing. I used to restuff them and sew them back together, but after doing this a million times (and cleaning up that stupid stuffing that DOES cling to every freaking thing), I decided to heck with it. Now I just clean up the stuffing and throw it away. She doesn't care if she's just tossing around the limp forms, so why should I let it bother me?

  2. Yikes! That is awful. But hey, the pic of the baby and dog is OUTSTANDING!! Is that an actual pic of your baby and dog??? its great!

  3. OH NO!!!! That is horrendous. TWO TIMES?!?!? Bad bad bad bad puppy!!! Good thing you like that bad little puppy, already!!

  4. So picture number one is the reason I would love to have a dog in the house. Pictures 2 and 3? Not so much!!

  5. Twice?! What a mess! She doesn't usually entertain herself like this when you're gone, does she? Seems to me she's always pretty calm. And I still think you should enter that pic of Coby & Josie in a photo contest....it's priceless! (And it makes cleaning up the occasional mess a little more bearable.)

  6. I did a Free To Good Home post not too long ago.

    Feel your pain.

  7. I always threaten to sell my dogs... for ten cents apiece.
    Notice the saying is "MAN'S best friend." Most men don't clean the house..... I'm sure some do, but they are also probably: 1.gay 2. being hoarded by their woman or 3. entirely fictional.

  8. Ack, I'm sorry. My cat coughs up hairballs and I get annoyed.

  9. And this is why I will never own a dog. you poor, poor thing.

  10. No, No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Your patience knows no bounds. Because I ASSURE you, mine would have exploded into a million tiny bits long ago.

  11. Could it be the dog is approacing the terrible 2s?

  12. She's paying you back for taking her boys from her last weekend!

  13. Hahaha I went through a similar thing except instead of pillows it was reeces and several spots of dog vomit EVERYWHERE.

  14. I am yet again solidified in the feeling that I do not want a dog or another child.


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