A Little Easter Cross-Dressing



This blog post is dedicated to all you moms of dudes out there. Not that the moms of girls won't get a kick out of laughing at me, but you "boy moms" ... well, you'll have a special appreciation for today's subject matter.

And that subject matter is Easter dresses.

It's Easter dress season.

Y'all know what I'm talking about. Each year around this time, every store that sells clothes - even those farm-supply stores that usually sell only coveralls and thermal underwear - seems to put out some sort of Easter dress display.

I walk into Walmart to buy some grapes and toothpaste and even though neither of those things are located in the children's clothing section, I somehow manage to find myself staring down a rack of little dresses. A sea of white and pink and pastel green, ruffly confections, bows and frills and flounces and flowers.

Then, as if to twist the knife in my heart, there are the shiny patent-leather shoes. The lacy little socks. The matching headbands and hairbows. The ruffly-butted tights.

90% of the time I'm actually glad I don't have a girl. For real. I would rather slick down a stubborn cowlick than fuss with a braid or a ponytail (I have enough trouble doing my own hair, thanks). I prefer Handy Manny over Hannah Montana. And it'd be hard to teach a girl much about being ladylike when I still laugh out loud when someone farts. 

But during Easter dress season, I can't help but picture myself holding a shiny, clean, sweet-smelling little girl in a beautiful white satin sleeveless dress with a full skirt (with a little pink rosebud print on the bodice. ...What?? I'm detailed). I trace my fingers lightly along the hems and the ruffles and the ribbons and pretend, for just a few minutes. "Coby's still a baby," I think to myself, the madness momentarily overtaking me, "and he's kind of sporting a mullet that could pass as long girl hair if I put a bow in it ..." 

The retailers try to make it up to us testosterone-overloaded moms by putting out a couple of little pastel-hued button-up shirts, maybe a little white suit with a light-blue vest and a few tiny little ties. They're all, "Aww, pity you don't have a girl to fancy up, but here's a small selection of clothing in some remotely girly colors." 

Pshaw, retailers. Pshaw.

You know what the real attraction is.

The Easter dresses, that's what. And all the girly accessories to go along with them.

Curtis wouldn't mind if our boys wanted to take dance lessons. He wouldn't bat an eye if they wanted to play with Barbies or baby dolls. He doesn't feel "threatened" that Colin's favorite color is currently pink.

But I think if I put Coby in a dress, even for just this one Easter, he'd have something to say.

Hmmph.


   


15 comments:

  1. I'm all out recycling. The Girl was a flower girl in a wedding last year. I'm going to weave in a pastel purple ribbon around the hem and replace the waistline "belt" as well to turn it into an Easter dress. Take that!

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  2. You and I are cut from the same cloth! I feel the same way, I have two boys, and lament each time I see all the cute little girly clothes and bikinis and general outfits. Boys clothes just aren't the same. There was a time when I could satisfy my dressing up desires by buying cute little animal outfits, or tv character outfits. But sadly, no longer. My two are too old, and the clothes are even more boring now! However, when I'm around my niece, or some of the girls I look after, I am glad to have boys. They don't care for the most part what they wear. They don't change their clothes a thousand times a day, or refuse to wear a certain type of clothing or colour. And yes, I don't think I could teach ladylike manners to anyone. I find bathroom humour faaaaarrrr too hilarious!!

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  3. I have 4 boys and I am finally OVER it! I love having boys instead of girls 100% of the time, although it did take me a while to get to this point.

    On a side note, I taught my 2 1/2 year old to say "Blast off" whenever he rips one. Always hilarious to me!

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  4. We were so hoping that Han Solo (6 weeks to go!) would be a girl and I actually cried when we found out he was a boy. I'm not unhappy now, because I know what to expect. Life with Indy is one big adventure and boys think sooooo differently than anything I've ever experienced, but the clothes. The girl clothes! Oh, how I love them and all their pink, ruffly, girly adorableness. I feel you so much on this, especially at Easter and Christmas when all the beautiful little dresses take over the racks.

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  5. See now, this is one of the reasons I'm glad I only have boys.

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  6. I have 3 young boys and the Easter dresses KILL me. The ruffly butt tights, little sweaters, dresses that are swishy and twirly ~~~ aww... the dagger. But you are right, it is only this time of the year (and maybe christmas!) because when I am around little girls; I am THRILLED to have my three boys.

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  7. I soooo know this feeling. I just think about all the money that I am saving....

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  8. Last week I actually stopped and stood in front of a rack of cute little Easter dresses in Target and deliberated over which one I would buy. As you know, I only have a son...

    I chose the white eyelet lace.

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  9. I totally get what you're saying. We have 4 boys...no girls. They flaunt those gosh darn dresses...just to taunt un boy mamas!! I swear it!!! I tried to convince the hubby that it's ok if I paint their toenails...but he's not buyin' it!! I know a dress would be out of the question.

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  10. That's exactly the feeling I've been getting from retailers for years- 'Sorry you didn't have a girl. we are obligated to provide you with something...so here's a half heart-ed attempt'.

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  11. I'm very happy with my 3 boys, but I so know where you are coming from!

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  12. I totally understand!! Most of the time I am SOOO happy with having only boys, but once in a while I think it would be so nice, and fun to shop for something pink and frilly!!:) Then I snap back to reality and thank the man upstairs that he knew enough not to send me girls!!haha

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  13. If you added a little girl to all those boys, she wouldn't be all prim and proper anyway. She'd probably be a tomboy just to keep up with her brothers. I recall getting a spanking because I slid down the coal chute in my white eyelet Easter dress with pink undies and pink lacy socks!

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  14. You CRACK me up! But i totally get the allure of all the pretty dresses and tights and shoes and hair stuff. It sucks me in EVERY time. And I won't lie, it IS fun to dress my girl up and make her all pretty. However, in the long run, I think you will be happier without the ridiculous amount of DRAMA a girl brings. WOW!

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  15. See, I have 2 girls and wish for the little boy that I can dress in the button down with the sweater vest. I would love to have my little mister. But, that was not meant to be... Oh well. :)

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