Big Primpin'

It's time for another appointment with the obstetrician tomorrow, and you know what that means: I'm gussying myself up like I'm going to the prom.

I don't know why I just let everything slide until my monthly visit to the doctor. It just seems easier, I guess, because I don't have time for all that maintenance any more. It's a shame, because I used to be one of those girls that always had my nails done, my hair fixed, my toes pedicured, my face ... facialed. (?) But that was before I had children to bathe, laundry to do, dishes to wash, and yard work to tend to (not great for a manicure); before butt/nose/sticky mess wiping were hazards to a nice outfit; when my showers weren't limited to the parts I could wash (or shave) before a crying child needs me rightthisminute and practically beats down the bathroom door. It was easier to keep up on things then, and the way I see it, I've got enough stuff to keep up on as it is without endlessly waxing plucking shaving exfoliating polishing ironing and primping. I guess my priorities have shifted.

It sucks, though, because that means a lot of work when I do get around to it. This morning I've put everything but basic necessities aside in order to file my feet, do my nails (finger and toe), and wax my brows and what isn't exactly a moustache - it's not dark - but it's still hair and no matter how light it is, it doesn't belong on my upper lip. My beard will have to be plucked. (Yes, I have a beard - I have grown one during every pregnancy, and this one is unfortunately no exception. Once I'm done having kids, laser hair removal here I come!) My legs and hoo-ha (that's the technical term) will have to become friendly with my razor once again.

Why, you ask, am I doing all this stuff to my upper half when the doctor will really only be interested in the va-jay-jay and surrounding area? Good question. And the answer is ... I'm not sure. I guess it's because I want my overall appearance to be neat and clean and groomed. Because as we all know, neat clean groomed woman probably equals neat clean groomed va-jay-jay. Sloppy, slovenly, unkempt woman probably equals ... well, you know.

And I can't have people at the doctor's office thinking that, now, can I?


  1. my first trip to the doctor (at the office where I used to work) after I had my first baby, the office manager told me I looke d like such a stylish, put together mom. Now I make sure eveyr trip I am all "done up" in an outfit that makes me look thin and stylish and not like I've had three kids in three years. I won't leave the house to go anywhere without makeup, and my toes are always painted because I can't stand them plain, but up close everything is a mess - no shaving or grooming is done unless totally necessary. And if i'm home with no plans to leave? well, then i pretty much fit the definition of hot mess

  2. Sounds weird, but lets just hope your doctor appreciates all of your hard work more than she did last time!

  3. You know what I always say.....when I see a woman with big bushy brows - it always makes me think that something else is big & bushy too - ICK!!!!

  4. Well, I hope your visit to the doc is rewarding and worthy of all that work! Let me know how it goes!

  5. Bravo to you, I don't even have kids yet and I can't manage to shave my legs before an gyno appt. I shudder to think what I'll look like when I finally have a baby. Oy

  6. omg, as a mom of an almost "21" year old, which i just can't believe... i cracked up sooo much when i read this! i don't know what it is but to this day going to the dr i feel the same way, what is that about? hmmm anyhow best wishes on your pregnancy! preganacy and i didn't mix to well had 2 really difficult pregnancies...loved your top story about your father's day cake! and loved the "naked chef" lol... stopping by from roll call, stop by and say "hi" anytime!


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