I'm Not Fat, I'm Just Fluffy

So ... my obstetrician tells me I'm fat.

Okay, maybe not in such harsh terms, but she might as well have. When she came into the room yesterday, she sat down and pored over my latest statistics. Blood pressure: fine. Urine sample: fine. Gestational diabetes test: negative. Weight ....

It was here that she looked at me pointedly over her glasses. "Everything looks fine, except you've gained too much weight since your last visit." Her eyes traveled over every lump and curve of my body, seemingly in slow-motion; everything's always in slow motion when you're being mercilessly scrutinized.

"I - I don't know why, really," I began in my own (weak) defense. "I work out on my Wii Fit for a half-hour minimum, at least six days a week. And I push-mow my yard a couple of times a week too." At this she actually looked skeptical, like she may not have believed me. She didn't say anything, so I went blathering on.

"I push mow!" I repeated. "And it's not just a small yard - we have an acre and a half! So I really am in good shape, underneath all the ..."

I trailed off as I realized that the doctor was just patiently waiting for me to finish.

"That's wonderful - you should keep that up," she said. "But what about your eating habits?"

At this I began to fidget. Should I tell her about my recent baking craze? My late-night ice cream cravings? My tendency to eat three big cans of mandarin oranges in one sitting? My ability to out-eat my husband? My borderline-obsessive love for sweet tea?

"Well, I try to moderate," I straight-up lied. "I mean, I'm not gonna say I don't ... indulge in the occasional ..."

I knew that she knew I was lying at this point, so I just gave it up and shrugged guiltily.

"Just try to watch your diet pretty closely from here on out," she said.

"Okay," I promised.

... And then went home for breakfast: bacon, eggs, and a honey bun.



  1. they know nothing if all your tests (bp, glucose, etc) are fine then you are fine. The only one paying for your weight gain is you, so eat whatever you want. When I was pregnant with my first I hit 6 months and swelled up like a balloon with water - I gained like 10 lbs in a week- and my doctor refused to believe me! he lectured me every visit about gaining too much weight and wouldn't listen about how swollen I was. When I saw him in his office less than a week after giving birth and had already lost almost 30 lbs, he was shocked. And I got to say "I told you so". So go ahead and treat yourself - this is one of teh few times you really can do that without guilt, and as long as you aren't putting your health at risk with diabetes or high blood pressure than your doctor shouldn't make you feel bad. I'd like to see her push a mower over an acre and half!

  2. Hee hee ... my doctor's not exactly a skinny waif herself, and I wanted so badly to point that out! That wouldn't have been very nice, though.

    Thanks for the reassurance Kate. :)

  3. Hmmm...maybe you should check out your doctor's resume. Has she seen another pregnant woman before??? I know nothing about it, but I'd say if all of your tests are good, then you're good!

  4. You are your mother's daughter! I always gained gobs of pregnancy weight but, like you, I was able to take it off after the baby arrived. You will, too. Just don't jeopardize your health.

  5. personally, I think your baby is very happy with those mandarin oranges and ice cream!

  6. Thanks everyone - hey, at least I know that SOMEONE is getting some enjoyment out of the cravings.

    *runs off to get mandarin oranges*

  7. Oh girl. The first time I was pregnant, we went to a Chiefs game and I had 3 hot dogs. Three. And then I found out you aren't supposed to eat hot dogs whan you are pregnant. Considering how much I heart hot dogs, it was a long pregnancy. And yes, I know what they make hot dogs from!


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