Oh, Sheet!

Sliding between my freshly washed sheets last night, I was reeeeally optimistic for a good night's sleep. I don't know why, but I always sleep better on clean sheets.

Sadly, my night of peaceful slumber would never come to pass. I know ... surprise, surprise.

Colin woke up two times, calling for Daddy - but since Daddy sleeps like a rock, or pretends to, guess who responded? ... Right. Mommy. Cameron, who sleeps in our bed, started to get unusually restless around 4 o'clock. And not to be outdone by his older brothers, Coby (the Fetal One) decided to lay on my bladder, giving me no choice but to get up twice more to pee.

4:40 A.M. - I am awoken yet again by Cameron laying across my pillow, pinning down my hair. I slid him back down into his normal position, wedged between Curtis and me. It was then that I noticed that Cam's lower half had a ... dampness to it. What the ... ? I obviously couldn't see in the dark, so I cautiously put my hand to my nose and sniffed. I thought something smelled a little suspect, but my nose is always stuffy at night; I can't smell properly for at least twenty minutes after I get up in the morning (I think it's a useful evolutionary tool designed to make morning breath less offensive). So I did a little more investigating (fumbling blindly for damp spots in the dark), which prompted me to get up and turn the bathroom light on so I could see better.

And oh. My. Lord.


The runniest diarrhea I have ever seen + an already saturated nighttime diaper = a huge mess.


Not only that, but he had been all over the place - including my pillow and in my hair. (Why, oh WHY do things that belong in a toilet miraculously find their way into my hair?)

No matter how hard I tried to keep him sleepy, after a cleanup that massive, he was wide awake. It didn't help that the alarm went off at 5, and Curtis had to get up and bang around in the bathroom and the closet getting ready for work.

"Shhh, lay down," I whispered to Cameron, hoping against hope that he would drift back to sleep.

"No way," he said, a lovely phrase he's been wearing out lately.

What a crappy start to the morning ... in the most literal sense!


  1. Ugh, I feel so bad for you. My cousin, his wife, and their 2 year old and 8 month old were here from Germany, staying with us this weekend. Since we don't have kids, it was quite different to have to throw something in the wash every hour or so because it was covered in poo.

  2. Hi Rita,
    I found your blog and was instantly hooked! I've read them all now and had a great time doing it. Keep it up...really funny stuff, and I need a good laugh, especially when it comes to motherhood. Reading your stories helps me to laugh more at my own mishaps!

  3. Oh lord! I hate those nightime surprises! Hope Cam gets better soon and you get some rest....and more clean sheets!

  4. I am so glad yours little ones end up in your bed too :)

  5. as a new mama I still don’t know how to deal with my new baby sometimes..

    in fact I had to throw his clothes in the garbage couple of times :P


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