Love Hurts. Especially in the Groin Area.

Love makes people do stupid things sometimes. I mean look at Tom Cruise when he made an ass of himself on public television, professing his love for Katie Holmes by jumping on Oprah's couch. We've all got our fair share of stories about not-so-bright choices we've made when blinded by the dazzling light of love. Often the heart wins out over the brain in such cases, which sometimes come with pretty unfortunate consequences (especially when we realize later what a douchebag that person we were soooo in love with really was).

For one lovestruck 25-year-old Egyptian guy, "unfortunate consequence" is a total understatement. He went to an incredible length ... er, wait, maybe that isn't the best way to describe that. (We'll just say his dreams of wedded bliss were, um, cut short.) Anyway, his family refused him permission to marry a girl from a lower social class, so he was all, "I'll show you guys!" and cut off his penis with a heated knife. And then to add insult to injury - literally - doctors could not reattach it. (If you want to read the news story for yourself, you can find it here.)

If anything ever warranted a "WTF?" ... this is it.

Maybe it's cultural. In all fairness, I'm not Egyptian, so maybe I just don't get it - perhaps, to other Egyptians, it makes perfect sense. But seriously, Penisless Egyptian Dude, cutting off your own schlong? Who exactly is that going to hurt (well, besides the obvious person)? I'm sorry, but his having or not having a penis probably makes very little difference to his parents, siblings, whoever.

Even if his family is like, "Wow, well, if you're that serious, go ahead and marry her" ... what kind of marriage would it be? Sexless, for one thing. Childless, for another, unless they're able to fork over the money for some very expensive procedures. Does he think his bride-to-be is going to be thrilled with that? Is she supposed to say, "Gee, we can't have sex and we can't have kids - but it sure is nice to have someone around to play Scrabble with," (or whatever Egyptians do on boring evenings)?

I realize that the penis doesn't make the man ... but, damn, it sure is a substantial part! This guy has effectively ruined his own sexuality and his chances for normal reproduction, for the rest of his life. On purpose.

I can't help but wonder if he saved it. Did he present it to his beloved in a box, a la Justin Timberlake's SNL skit? (OMG, if you haven't seen that, watch it here because it's effin' hilarious - but beware, because it has explicit lyrics. Shoo the kiddos from the room first!) The tag probably said, "Here's a token of my erection affection."

I think I'll show Curtis I love him today by slicing off one of my boobs. I've got two of them, so I can spare one, right? Nah, my bellybutton needs something on both sides (that was a joke ... sort of). Maybe I'll just give him a card.


  1. That is some crazy shit! I can't believe I hadn't read about that already. Thanks for the info Reet!

  2. Ok, that might possibly be one of the weirdest things I've ever heard!!!

  3. What the????

    I don't even have a penis but my own area started wincing just reading this.

  4. That's just too any country! :o)
    P.S. I love the boob reference! ;o)

  5. LOL! You crack me up.
    That's crazy ... and IMO not normal for any culture.

  6. I thought that was a pretty bizarre story when I read it. Can you imagine the internal monologue that led up to that? Dude must have had some interesting voices going on in his head!


Post a Comment

Commenting makes you big and strong! Okay, maybe just strong. Okay, so it's only your fingers. But still ...

Popular Posts